Thursday, March 18, 2004

pinions of buddy don:
how to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin

all my life, folks has been cumplainin bout how the gummint spends too much money. whenever twuz the dimocrats a doon it, twuz attackd as 'tax n spend.' now that the publicans has tuck over, ye gut a differnt problem: 'borry n spend.' that means everthang git more eggspensive. heres the quayshun ye git fer that:

differnts twixt
'tax n spend' vs 'borry n spend'

tax n spend

borry n spend

(cost of thangs) = (cost of thangs)

(cost of thangs) = (cost of thangs) + (interst on the money that wuz borried)

now thays sum that thanks thangs wooda dun changed by now. after all, them publicans wuz able to rize above the librul media n the librul collidge faculties n the librul hollywood elite n all tuther libruls that cuntrols whut ye thank to take the congress n presdintcy n las but not lease, the supreme cort. aint nuthin holdin em back frum balancin that budget.

after all, even a hillbilly lack buddy don kin see how tiz a bad bizness to git yerself into a situawayshun whar the cost of interst on the nashnull debt makes it rite hard to keep on budget. furst ye gut to deefine whut the interst ye gut to pay is, witch heres the quayshun:

net interst equayshun
net interst on publick debt = gross interst on publick debt - (interst earned on soshul securty trust fund + interst on miltary retirement fund + interst earnd on medicare + interest earnd on unemployment insurants + interst earnd hiway n airport n airways trust fund) - (interst on loans to publick + interst on loans to rtc and bank insurants fund)

heres whut were a'payin in net interst on the debt accordin to the congressional budget offus:

2003: $153,000,000,000 ($153 billyuns)

2004: $155,000,000,000 ($155 billyuns)

2005: $180,000,000,000 ($180 billyuns)

2006: $220,000,000,000 ($220 billyuns)

2007: $257,000,000,000 ($257 billyuns)

2008: $282,000,000,000 ($282 billyuns)

2009: $302,000,000,000 ($302 billyuns)

2010: $318,000,000,000 ($318 billyuns)

heres how thangs cumpars:

costs of thangs
(outlays, includin offsettin receets in billyuns of $)
year net interst defence homeland securty soshul securty medicare

















































how did we git them publicans to go fer this kinda runaway borryin?

  1. now aint nobidy that kin deny how the war has to be paid fer n ye mite thank folks wood put them costs in befor votin on the budget, but as it happend, the gummint couldnt figger out how much twuz a'gonna cost till after the budget had dun been passed: so one way to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin is to make em vote befor ye give em all the costs of thar vote!

  2. then ye gut that thar medicare benefit fer them drug cumpnies, witch as ye mite member, twuz hard to git them publicans to vote fer it. they had to have em a exter long votin session (in sted of 15 mints, they tuck near 3 hours), witch that hepped em git the last vote they needed: so a nuther way to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin is to make em stay up real late till they finely vote lack thar spozed to accordin to thar leaders.

  3. to git everbidy to vote fer that thar medicare benefit fer them drug cumpnies, ye had to threaten sum of em with attacks on thar kids politicull careers: so a thurd way to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin is to threaten thar kids ifn they dont go along.

  4. mainly, ye had to keep the real cost of that thar medicare benefit fer them drug cumpnies a secret, witch turnt out twoodnt a mere $400,000,000,000 lack twuz claimd but $521,000,000,000: corse, the best way to git publicans to vote fer runaway borryin is to keep em in the dark bout the real costs, witch thisns rilly jes lack method number 1 above.

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