eggsplainayshuns of buddy don: bout the bloggerull below

warnin: i am about to wine bout my life, so ifn ye dont lack readin that kinda self-centerd garbidge ye kin skip this post.

the bloggerull pome that i writ this mornin (nex post) is the reesult of my visit to the newrallgist on mundy. the good news is that they dont thank i gut inny thang seryus a'goin on, witch thats jes one out of too minny blessins to count.

but i couldnt hardly take how the feller treated me. corse, i wuz one of the last two customers he had to deal with ere he could leave on his two week vacayshun, sos ye kin kindly understand how he mite wonta git thru the innervue as quick as he could. miz bd wuz thar n timed im on how long it tuck im to look at them mri films. she sed he dint langer over inny of em moren 7 secunts n thatn only used up 10 secunts of his time. n thay wuz 30 differnt pitchers of my brane on each of them films.

he made a cuple comments to his ownself along the way, thangs lack, 'hmm, that's a vein, a little odd, but usually benign' n 'hmm, that's some black blood, also benign more often than not.' turnt out thay wus a radiallgy report in with the mri, witch i aint shore whuther he red it or not. i dint notiss it till the nex day.

at the end, i felt lack mayhap i am jes a hypocondriack n the pain is all in my hed only it aint real or sumthin, ceptin when it makes me upchuck fer fifteen hours in a row, witch tiz real then i reckun. so i tole im twuz grate that all wuz fine with my hed n ast im bout the dull pain in the left side that wuz a'langerin even then. he sed he figerrd twuz muscle tenshun, witch he had his pad out a'ritin a scrip fer sum more drugs even as he wuz a'sayin it.

i also sed i dint lack all the drugs he had me on then (depakote n topomax bof), so he sed i should taper off on the topomax till i woodnt be takin it no more. i caint seem to git im to here me tellin im that my migraines cum in seasons n we are about to the end of the season, but no matter.

we lef n i felt lack i had been deefeated. i wuz feelin bad when i wint in, head hurtin, nausea that cums with it n so on. twuz a low moment in life fer me.

miz bd wurks outside the house mundy evenins, so on top of everthang else, i wuz home alone. i tuck the films home with me n sat aroun wastin sum of the prescious time i have on earth feelin sorry fer myself n then figgerd i mayswell go git the scrip filled. i gut sumthin to eat whilst i dun that, cum home, et, n then tuck a look at whut i had bought.

turnt out to be klonopin, tho whenever the docter writ the scrip twuz hidin under a nuther name i dint know. my famblys dun got a terrbull histry with klonopin, witch ifn ye google it ye gone larn taint fer tense muscles. so i dint add a nuther mind-foggin drug to the mix.

innywho, i am a'gone fite back. nex mornin, miz bd tole me to read the radiallgy report, witch i dun n larnt thay wuz a hole lot more a'gone on than that newrallgist seemed to notiss. she had also looked im up to larn his area of expertease wuz back pain. taint lack thays sumthin terrbull in my hed, but thays sum thangs i druther not menchun by name yet. i go fer my fisicull on mundy n orta be able to git a nuther newrallgist then, mayhap one that has branes fer a speshulty.

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pomes of buddy don: You'll Never Live

You’ll Never Live

In our fair land we like to make a profit
From making things like mouse traps, food, or cars –
We’ll even take ill health and make bucks off it
And see our gains rise up into the stars.

And that’s the part that has me up in arms:
Why would the health care business freely choose
To cure those whom it all too often harms
Since real cures cause the bottom line to lose?

Would it not be far better to keep each
Of all the “customers” addicted to
The pills and procedures they like to preach,
Stamped by the FDA, are tried and true?

A pill for this, a pill for that, don’t try to think about it,
The docs got scripts to get you more, you’ll never live without it.

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updates of buddy don: eggsplainayshuns bout health

whenever i moved up in here to the new york city metro area, i gut into the habit of givin mama a call ever sundy mornin. i figgerd twood be a good way to keep in touch with the fambly, witch that it has.

so twuz last sundy that i tride to brang her up to date on my last visit with the newrallgist, but by the time she gut dun splainin it to my bruthers, twuz all kindly all turnt round sumhow. so let me splain it fer ye, deespite the navel gazin.

i been havin sum new simptums whar fer sum reason my sense of smell will git strongern it ever wuz befor in my hole life.

last saturdy fer instunts me n miz bd wuz sittin in a restrunt over at port authorty name of metro marché. i had dun orderd me a omlet with shrimp n avocado, witch aint hardly nuthin kin beat a avocado in my mind (this feller woodnt agree, but everbidys gut thar own taste).

innywho, way acrost the room a waitress sprayd sumthin on a table to clean it n the smell wuz so strong i nearly upchucked. i ast miz bd could she smell it n she ast me whut did i mean. ere i could anser, i gut a verr sharp pane in the left side of my hed, rite above the ear, witch it made me putt my hed down till it let up a bit, n then the hole side of my hed wuz numb fer a spell. she never smelt it tho she normally has a better sniffer than i gut.

that kinda thangs bin a'happenin here lately, witch i eggsplaind it to the newrallgist n told him i knew it sounded a lil crazed.

i also told im a nuther kindly crazed simptum whar i feel kindly lack i aint quite in my bidy or whar i am a tiny lil part of it.

turnt out them simptums is commun ifn ye are havin temporull lobe seezures.

he dint sound verr alarmd bout it, so i dint git upset. he skeduled a mri with contrast fer thursdy after gittin me to go fer a blood test to make shore my kidneys is up to flushin out the die they injeck into ye sos the contrast kin take effeck. then on mundy i go back fer a eeg sos they kin git a look at my brane waves. ifn that dont show nuthin the plan is to send me home with the eeg machine sos i kin whar it fer two daze.

he also added topomax to the mix of medicayshun i am a'takin, witch i bleeve he is reeplacin depakote but has to ween me offn the one to reeplace it with tuther.

sounds purty simple, dont it?

by the time the story made it frum mama to brew n frum him to a email that he sent me to ast whut wuz a'gone on with me, twuz a brane cancer that had dun spread to my hart!

taint nuthin lack that n aint even lackly to be nuthin lack that.

oh how mama luvs drama!

as it happens, last nite miz bd run into a lady that wurks in newrallgy her ownself, who she splaind how the most lackly thang they wood find is sum tiny blood vessles thats gittin blocked n havin spasms ... n that sounds almos eggzackly lack whut the newrallgist told me ... n almost eggzackly lack whut i told mama.

aint thar a nuff drama in life alreddy without assumin the wurst or makin thangs up?

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waka of budouadana: medicine

The best medicine,
Is nature, not artifice,
The body’s defense
Only sunlight, decent food,
Exercise, meditation.

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pomes of buddy don: Life's Tribulations

Life’s Tribulations
(Two sonnets worth)

Life’s Tribulations, One

A pill, they say, will fix your restless legs,
Of stiffen up your limp and aged phallus
Will let you sleep while eating scrambled eggs
Or keep your heart ticking with digitalis.

A pill can fix your frequent need to go
Or let you breathe when pollen has been loosed
Or even let you eat the foods you know
Cause heartburn or cholesterol to boost.

The side effects might be a bit extreme
The worst that some pills might just make you die
But what is death next to weak self-esteem
Or worries that a pill seems to belie?

With such proofs we teach young generations
That drugs solve all of life’s tribulations

Life’s Tribulations, Two

You read a lot about the nation’s use
Of drugs that are illegal and illicit
Which leads our law enforcement to abuse
Of laws designed to curb but not to fix it.

For how can we expect to fix with laws
A problem we have made ourselves with gain
To phramaceuticals who win applause
With each drug advertising sales campaign?

Why should we be surprised if junior chooses
To drown his fears in a bowl of crack
Or share the blunt that his best friend uses
When he was raised by parents on prozac?

For we have taught the young generations
That drugs solve all of life’s tribulations.

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reefelckshuns of buddy don: caint git back in my rooteen

seems lack i am havin truble gittin used to all that depakote i been takin lately, witch thats makin it hard to blog the way i wood lack to do. but as i reefleck on thangs ...



... i real eyes that thangs could be much wurser, witch las year at this time i wuz in the midst of a 2.5 munth short-term disabilty on a counta them migraines.

whenever i am havin truble sleepin, i dont count sheep but blessins, and thays a plenty of em!

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sleep of buddy don: depakote dreams

yesterdy buck frum tete a tete a tete writ a questchun in the comments astin whuther them depakote dreams i been havin lack crazy makes inny sense. lack mos thangs, sum of em do n sum of em dont. heres a cuple of em i had lately.

furstn wuz bout the new boss of my new boss, witch he used to report to me ere i gut sick n wint out on disabilty. i wont say nuthin bout her ceptn that shes new to the group n larnin how to take control over it, witch inny time ye putt sumbidy in such a tuff spot thays bound to be sum cumplaints here n thar.

innywho, in the dream, i real eyes that she n i are livin in the same apartment, not in inny kinda romanticull fashun but jes to make eggspentses. she wuz bout the git marrd, witch thats true in real life, n i wuz waitin fer miz bd to git back frum sumwhars whilst our apartment wuz havin sum wurk dun. all that wuz stuff i knowd sumhow but never stated in the dream.

in sted, thay wuz a game on tv n the boss ast me whut i thunk of it. i tuck a glants n figgerd twuz one of them all star football games (east/west or blue/gray) n tole er i wudnt much of a fan of em on a counta they tended to be all offents or miss takes.

she ast me to take a closer look n whenever i dun it i seen how the ball wuz a odd shape n finely i figgerd out twuz australyun rules football bein played. i couldnt hardly bleeve she wuz a fan of that but turnt out she wuz. i wonted to clean up the floor in the livin room, witch twuz a mess with dust bunnies n such.

i wuz bout to vacuum it when folks started arrivin at the door. turnt out twuz a party bout to brake out. i tole the boss twuz a lot lack whenever i wuz in collidge with all these folks cummin over, kindly lack party centrull. she sed twuz eggzackly that. twuz a nuther sprize fer me.

innywho, one feller wuz trine to git a keg across the threshhold, so i offerd to hep n picked it up n tuck it in.

rite after that i woke up with a terrbull back ache in my sholders.

i kin make sum sense outta thatn, but it mite not mean much to nobidy else (nuthins quite a borin as sumbidy elses dreams, witch thar nitemares generly make better readin).

nuther dream wuz bout hikin in the smokies with a long time frien n howard stern. the frien wuz a close frien fer nigh on to 17 years but our frienship ended whenever i gut marrd. fer sum reason he dint approve of my wife (luv of my life) n lef me to choose, witch i made the rite choice. innywho, we had dun finished the hike n turnt out howard stern wuz in the button bizness n couldnt find sum buttons he needed. i seen em on the floor n give em too im. then i sed twuz six n bout time we lef. miz bd wuz suddenly thar n she wuz reddy to go as well. my longtime frien ast dint we wonta smoke sum of theevil weed, but i tole im i had dun quit. ye wooda thunk i had slapped im. i woke up with a nuther back ache, witch fer sum reason i *wuz* trine to slap im. i reckun thatn aint hard to make sense of neethur.

nuff of that. i am hopin to catch the early bus today. i hope everbidy has em a grate day n that thar good dreams cum true n thar nitemares leave em happy to be awake.

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pall gies of buddy don: overslep!

used to be my goal of a nite wuz to sleep till 4 am. this mornin i dint wake up till 5:30, witch i dreamt lack never befor. tiz that depakote, no doubt. i aint gut time to blog, tho, so this here note is it, with my pall gies!

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sleepiness of buddy don: plumb tuckerd out

yesterdy i seen that thar neurologist thats been a'heppin me lately. he tole me in should increase my dosage of depakote from 500 milligrams to 750. i been havin whut he calls 'sidekick auras' (thats whut it sounded lack) lately n that ye gut to git the dosage rite ere ye kin git over it.

but at the moment, i am wishin i could go back to bed, witch thats how most of the folks i know feel ever mornin.

innywho, i hope everbidy has em a grate day! i reckon i will git woke up by the cold outdoors.

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