Tuesday, April 15, 2008

updates of buddy don: eggsplainayshuns bout health

whenever i moved up in here to the new york city metro area, i gut into the habit of givin mama a call ever sundy mornin. i figgerd twood be a good way to keep in touch with the fambly, witch that it has.

so twuz last sundy that i tride to brang her up to date on my last visit with the newrallgist, but by the time she gut dun splainin it to my bruthers, twuz all kindly all turnt round sumhow. so let me splain it fer ye, deespite the navel gazin.

i been havin sum new simptums whar fer sum reason my sense of smell will git strongern it ever wuz befor in my hole life.

last saturdy fer instunts me n miz bd wuz sittin in a restrunt over at port authorty name of metro marché. i had dun orderd me a omlet with shrimp n avocado, witch aint hardly nuthin kin beat a avocado in my mind (this feller woodnt agree, but everbidys gut thar own taste).

innywho, way acrost the room a waitress sprayd sumthin on a table to clean it n the smell wuz so strong i nearly upchucked. i ast miz bd could she smell it n she ast me whut did i mean. ere i could anser, i gut a verr sharp pane in the left side of my hed, rite above the ear, witch it made me putt my hed down till it let up a bit, n then the hole side of my hed wuz numb fer a spell. she never smelt it tho she normally has a better sniffer than i gut.

that kinda thangs bin a'happenin here lately, witch i eggsplaind it to the newrallgist n told him i knew it sounded a lil crazed.

i also told im a nuther kindly crazed simptum whar i feel kindly lack i aint quite in my bidy or whar i am a tiny lil part of it.

turnt out them simptums is commun ifn ye are havin temporull lobe seezures.

he dint sound verr alarmd bout it, so i dint git upset. he skeduled a mri with contrast fer thursdy after gittin me to go fer a blood test to make shore my kidneys is up to flushin out the die they injeck into ye sos the contrast kin take effeck. then on mundy i go back fer a eeg sos they kin git a look at my brane waves. ifn that dont show nuthin the plan is to send me home with the eeg machine sos i kin whar it fer two daze.

he also added topomax to the mix of medicayshun i am a'takin, witch i bleeve he is reeplacin depakote but has to ween me offn the one to reeplace it with tuther.

sounds purty simple, dont it?

by the time the story made it frum mama to brew n frum him to a email that he sent me to ast whut wuz a'gone on with me, twuz a brane cancer that had dun spread to my hart!

taint nuthin lack that n aint even lackly to be nuthin lack that.

oh how mama luvs drama!

as it happens, last nite miz bd run into a lady that wurks in newrallgy her ownself, who she splaind how the most lackly thang they wood find is sum tiny blood vessles thats gittin blocked n havin spasms ... n that sounds almos eggzackly lack whut the newrallgist told me ... n almost eggzackly lack whut i told mama.

aint thar a nuff drama in life alreddy without assumin the wurst or makin thangs up?

(ifn ye wonta make a comment, ye gut to click on 'link' below.)


Anne Johnson said...

Well, you know how mamas are. They just worry theirselfs to death. I thank specially the hillbilly ones. I hope you git to the bottom of this quick fore you start doin' astral projecshun without hep from a alchemist. Cuz that's whut sum a them symptoms sound laak to me.

if you do astral projeck, don't be skeered, your soul will find the proper body agin. Lotta people git more flustered by this than they outta be.

Tennessee Jed said...

Now the way I heard it George Bush had put on his axis of evil list because you were building a WMD that had something to do with mind control.

I hope the MRI gives your Doctor some clue as to help them terrible head afflictions.

Anonymous said...

... hope you feel better soon!..... but yeah, I have to disagree with you a bit when it comes to the pleasures of an avacado.... yeef!..


red molly said...

Hey bd, I know this is serious kind of stuff but I was laughing out loud when you got to the part about brain cancer done spread to the heart. Your writing is beautiful.

I do hope you get some answers soon.
Take care.

Lydia said...

So glad to read this blog. I came home to my parents' house for the weekend and heard the drama. We're all so glad it's not true.

And, you're right, avocados are the best! Seamus and I eat them twice a week.