wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 6:
this one gurl name of darlene

thangs wuz good fer a while. miz deeanjullo, witch she always insisted i call her anny witch i never dun, miz deeanjullo had plans fer the place, n seem lack everwhar ye look thar wuz sumthin else needed doin. that wuz fine fer me since i dint have no way of payin the $10 a week n i lack wurk ok n she said she wud wave the rent in return fer wurk, n that wuz fine by me. i never saw her wave the rent even tho i kep a steady lookout fer it, but leest she never ast fer it n whenever i menshunned it, she sed she wud wave it, n id watch but shed jes keep on a'doin whutever twuz she might a been a doin n dint ever lift a fanger nor wave neethur.

then after a week or two she cum up with the noshun that i ought to be a'studyin the bibl n i cudnt deny't since we'd always been tole we oughta be a'reedin it reglar even ifn we never dun it much. i figgerd twuz gods way of makin shure i wuz doin right n dint kick up much of a fuss.

but kickin up a fuss wuz a speshulty of mr deeanjullo, witch he always insisted i call him geeno, witch i never dun. miz deeanjullo callt him cantankerus, n i hadnt never herd that wurd befor but it seem lack it sed jes whut he wuz. ye'd sneeze, n he'd holler, 'No sneezing!" n then he'd laff lack twuz the funniest thang innybidy ever sed. or he'd ast ye whuther ye wuz a gone join the service, n dint seem thay wuz a anser to suit him since seem lack he wuz agin the war but in favor of servin yer cuntry, witch thats whut he dun whenever thay wuz havin the ko ree un conflict, n he had tales to tell that made it soun lack fun one time n then he'd cummence to statin 'war is hell,' n then't sounded lack sumthin ye best kep out of.

whenever he herd bout the plan whar i'd be a'studyin that thar bibl, he cantanker'd hisself into a fare thee well, n tole miz deeanjullo all about. whut a fuss n fite that turnt into, with him a'sayin she shudnt fill my hed with non-cents n her a sayin he needed to akcept the truth befor it twuz too late n him sayin twernt the truth, twuz myths, n such lack stuff i hadnt never herd before. finely he put the fork in it n won the fite whenever he ast did she no whuther i'd even finisht hi skool?

i wuz trine to get betwixt em to say i wuz happy to study the bibl n i'd be happy to have mr. deeanjullo -- 'call me geeno, you hick!' he hollered -- n i sed pardon me n continud to say i'd be happy to study up on both haves the bibl, the beleevin n the doubtin haves, but next thang ye no its them agin me, n miz deeanjullo carried me down to 'see me valley' hi skool in her car the very next day, witch twuz a fridy in we had to cum back after the weekin. in sum ways, that wuz the last weekin of my freedum as a wurkin man.

turnt out thay cud fine out whutever i'd dun larnt over to skool in tennessee n thay had these trance scripts that splaint my sitchuwayshun as fer as my skoolin wuz concernt, n seem lack i'd dun cum a good ways on accounta becawz them tennessee skools wharever i went wuz ahed somehow, n seem lack all i needed do wuz take a murkin gummint class n pass the egzaminayshun.  n that wuz fine by me, but seem lack thay cudnt leev it at that but had to have me take whut thay wuz callin a full lode, witch in them daze thay had musik in skools n i tuck for or five classes in that n a inglish class witch thay claimt i needed in the wurst way. seem lack the purpus wus to fill up my day, n that near dun it.

cept thar wuz the problem of the $10 i wuz spozed to pay n miz deeanjullo had dun made it clar as a bell that she wudnt wavin no rent without i wurked fer it, n i promised her weekins n she ast fer bibl study. 'And don't you say a word to Mr. De Angelo about this matter. We shall study early each morning while he sleeps in.' twuz a deel i had to take, n i did.

after that, seemt lack i never had no time to my ownself. but i aint cumplainin nun. turnt out thay wuz this instermint callt the chello that wuz toont up in fifths lack mandlin n seem lack we wuz friens rite away cept thay wuz this papr thay callt musik, lil notes writ on a page, n ye wuz spozed to follow itt. twuz the oddest thang i'd ever seen. back home folks picks up thar instrumints n cummence a playin n ye never see nobidy with musik thats lil notes writ on a page. up till then, i kindly thunk musik wuz a joyful noiz ye made, so to speek, n then cum to fine out tiz notes on a page. n them notes wuz tuff to translate to ackshul musik cept oncet i dun herd my part of whutever song we wuz a'larnin, i wuz reddy. made the orchester die-rektor mad n he tride to git me to do rite but i never dun it. n to this verr day, i caint hardly play frum lil notes writ on a page, witch thay calls that site reedin. whut i dun, thay say thats callt 'playin by ear,' but fack is, i use my fangers, not my ears. i do listen careful, tho.

n that thar bibl wuz loded with stuff thay wudnt let us talk bout whenever i wuz a kid, n we wuz reedin parts frum heer n thar n everwhar in the book sted of strate thru n i larnt at lees this much, witch that is ye kin proov whutever ye need with the bibl. one of the thangs that kindly wurried me wuz how the worl wuz a gone end in 1975, n seem lack thay warnt much point in all the wurk we wuz a doin roun the house n yard with so lil time lef. but thay wuz rent to be waved, so i studied up on that bibl with her n i wurked on saturdies n i dint cumplain.

corse skool opent up a can of wurms cawz i wuz meetin folks n purt soon thay wuz a'givin me names lack 'lil ole white pine boy,' witch they thought twuz funny the way i sed wurds lack white pine. n frum that i made a frien, n that wuz the start of more problems then ye kin count.

his name wuz virgil n he cum from kansus or sum such place. he playd clarnet in orkester n he lackt to talk bout gurls mostly n purt soon he wuz a pointin out thisn n thatn, n thay wuz a passle of em. fack is, thay wuz more peepl in that thar 'see me valley' hi skool than thay wuz in the next town back home. n on a counta the sun a shinin so much, them gurls hardly wore much of innythang, n twuz confusin, speshly this one gurl name of darleen who wuz the hed of the class cawz twernt nobidy smarter. she wrote lef handid, lackt to wear short dresses on her long laigs n she favord the color pink n lackt to wear socks n even paten lether shoes now n then, n ye kin magine the affeck this had on me tho i never sed nuthin bout that to virgil.

problem wuz, twuz plain virgil wuz sweet on her, n tho i kep my distance, twernt nuthin i cud do since she turnt out to be sweet on me.