wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 17:
cud this be all thar is?

oncet darlene n i dee sided we wood tie the not, everthang in life begun movin jes a lil bit faster. turnt out thar wuz a passle of thangs ye had to do ifn ye wonted to git hitcht.

1 - pick a day, witch we made the miss take of pickin a day that lookt ok till i noticet twuz my mamas birthdy n by then twuz too late to change.

2 - ye had to pick a bes man, witch i wonted virgil but the questchun wuz how to fine him n send the invite, tho i sent sumthin to the last address we had fer him.

3 - darlene had to pick a dress, witch that took us trip after trip of me luggin my laig aroun in a cast to shops whar everthang wuz white n frilly n lacy n the smell made ye need to step outside n sneez, witch the hole thang turnt out to be a waste of time on a counta darlene dee sided she wood make her own weddin dress, witch she dun, not to mentchun makin a speshul pink dress that wudnt fer a'wearin outside.

4 - we had to dee side whar wuz we a gone have it dun, witch stagin it at thar church wuz jes fine by me even ifn it did hurt miz deeangjello to larn we wuz a gittin hitched in a church of the antichrist, witch thats whut she thought thay all wuz ceptin fer them kingdom halls of them jeehovuhs witness bunch.

5 - sumbidy had to pay fer the reehursal dinner, witch that wuz spozed to be paid fer by the father of the groom but thay wernt no way my daddy wood be eethur payin or cumin to the weddin n that mint usin up sum more of darlenes savins or else lettin her daddy doot, n we had wurds overt befor dee sidin to do rite n pay fert our ownselves, witch that rilly mint her ownself.

6 - she had to organize mades of honor n pick a best made or whutever twuz she wuz a'callin her bes frien, witch that wuz carol charles who everbidy thought wore too little close.

7 - n we had to git a soot fer me to wear since twoodnt do to wear one of mr deeanjellos second hands.

8 - n that preechur had to be paid.

9 - we had to plan a honeymoon.

10 - we had to figger on who we wuz a'gone invite, witch thay wudnt much fer me to say on thatn bein as how my folks wudnt in range of cumin in i hardly new innybidy else who cud cum.

the ackshull list of thangs wuz a hole lot longer n makes me tard jes to thank on it on a counta thar wuz no end to the thangs needed to be dun or at leest wurryied over. fer instunts, i dint egzackly have the kind job ye need ifn yer a'gone sport a wife, n fack wuz, i cudnt wurk tall till after the operayshun. n that tuck plannin n pointmints n testin n x rays n more of darlenes savins, but she had tall wurkt out, n shure a nuff, i went back in the hospittal n thay put me to sleep n redun the laig n twuz a mite paneful at furst but i wuz overt purty soon n tho twuz better twuz never quite the same agin n thats how cum me to limp to this very day.

long n short of twuz that i walkt into the 'see me valley' furst methdist church a broke man. seemt lack id jes lef home to find a nuff freedom to live my own life, n thar i wuz compleetly in hock to darlene n thang wuz i dint no whuther twuz love or lust we wuz a marrin fer. but marr we did n thay wuz teers shed by her mama whenever her daddy ansert the questchun who gives this woman in mattermony n her daddy sed, 'Her mother and I are proud to.' virgil showed up after all n wore one of his daddys soots n twuz good to see him even if he needed a harcut. n we all ate cake lack thay wuz no tomorruh n the pitchers all show purty happy folk. n thay wuz more presents than id ever seen n one place befor, most of em repeats.

n when twuz over, we saw that thayd deckrated the car with wurds lack 'jes marrd' n 'so long sucker' n 'a nuthern bites the dust.' n thangs wuz good fer a few days till darlene cum up with that yeest infeckshun. furst she cum up smellin lack a can of tuna fish n she wundert whut wuz rong n then she tuck to washin herself exter keerful. n thang wuz we begun to speck twuz cawzed by all the luvin we wuz sharin. n then she new she had it whenever she smelt it n twuz lack bred. n she met a nuther woman n she splaint whut wuz a goin on n thangs wernt never the same a gin.

that wuz whenever we wuz in yosimatee nashnul park, witch we went to bakers field fer the honeymoon nite n stayd in a motel 6, witch dint matter whar we stayd on a counta we had jes the one thang on our mines till she got the yeest thang. n then seemt lack thangs wernt the same no more so we give up on yosimatee n drove back to the 'see me valley' n pickt up her mama n drove to niagra falls on a counta her mama n daddy wuz frum buffalo new york witch that wuz close by them falls. n the yeest dun followt us to niagra falls n fack is, we never gut shed of it.

we met a bunch of the new york reltives tho i never larnt thar names nor saw em agin neethur. then twuz the long drive back to californy n then fer sum strange reeson, we dee sided to move back to tennessee to set up housekeepin. ackshully, we figgert we wood have a better chants n we wuz a hopin to git on at one of them plants in oak ridge.

but thay wudnt hirin so we ended up takin whut we cud get, witch that wuz jobs at shoneys version of the big boy whar i made $1.45 a hour on a counta thay wuz no union in tennessee, witch thay callt it a right to work state even ifn it seemt more lack a right to pay poorly state. darlene gut a job at the same place fer 72 1/2 cent a hour plus tips, witch twuz lucky she got them tips without tax. n her daddy dun found a sumbidy that wonted to by that broke up motorsickle n we uset that money n the last of darlenes to git a old car. n we found a partment that my ant nancy wuz rentin fer $65 a month n it seemt a bit steep at furst but turnt out darlene cud get $100 in tips on a weekend n thay wuz plenty of hours to wurk ifn ye needed exter money, witch we did, even if thay wuz no overtime. we wurked six days a week, all but mundy, n then we mite go fishin tho that wuz genrully a fuss n fite n no fishin tall since seemt lack the partment wuz never cleen a nuff to soot darlene, n she felt twuz a good use of our day off to do lawndry n cleen house.

wurst of all, she never seemt to kick that thar yeest infeckshun n she blamed tall on me on a counta thangs gut wurse whenever we had sex n that made ye wunder why did we git marrd on a counta wuznt sex the main reeson? but in sted, that yeest infeckshun made thangs contentchus betwixt to two of us ever nite. n turnt out over time that i cum to thank i luved her but dint lack her much, n thats held up to this day.

i member line in bed n wunderin how it cum to be that i dun lef home to larn how to live my own life n not have to do everthang my daddy sed do only to git myself into a marrge whar i had to do everthang darlene sed do or else go thru fussn n fitin over tall.

in deed, life wuz hard fer all the obveeus reesons when ye look at it with hine site, but truble wuz, i dint have nun of that hine site then. in sted, i cawt a bad case of the melluncolly that cums frum wonderin cud this be all thar is?