Sunday, July 27, 2003

life of buddy don, chaptur 25:
crossin lines

thays many ways ye could chop up a life into befors n afters, as ifn thay wuz a line that ye crossed, n whenever ye dun it, everythang wuz differnt frum then on. fer instunts, thars whenever i lef home. everythang since then has dun been differnt. same with wurkin n gittin marrd. seem lack i wuz a'crossin them lines lack nobidys bizness without a'givin it much thought.

n thats how twuz with theevil weed. i dun writ bout how theevil weed did a worl of good fer my relayshunship with my bruthers, speshully eli. turnt out he had dun been a'smokin pot fer a while so he wuz a'keepin it a secret frum me.

n thats one of the ways we crossed a line oncet we startid smokin. seem lack thay wuz a passle of new friens we made around then on a counta ye gut invited to parties ifn ye smoked that ye woodnt git invited to ifn ye wuz strate. n these parties wuz verr differnt frum them carbide parties. fer one thang, thay generly wernt no dancin n ifn thay wuz inny, twuz lackly sumbidy that wuz a'drankin. corse, ye dint see much drankin mongst yer smokers on a counta most yer smokers wood tell ye they wuz 'down on drankin,' witch that mint they thought ye wuz a'sellin out to the stablishmint ifn ye drunk hard likker. beer wuz differnt, but in them days, most folks jes lacked smokin.

in sted, folks wood put on music n listen toot. twuz right nice in my pinion on a counta mongst yer drankers, ye dint have no chants to here no musik n ye had to dance innyway. but yer smokers wonted to sit quite n listen keerful to whutever musik twuz they lacked. they wuz sum variety thar in oak ridge on a counta thay wuz folks into jazz n blugrass n corse everbidy wonted to hear yer pink floyd n moody blues n eagleswhostones n paul simon n james taylor n led zepplin n tangerine dream n tuther musik that soundid good when ye wuz hi.

only musik they woodnt abide wuz cuntry.

in the same way we wuz invitid to parties with differnt folks, we also startid havin differnt folks over, n mainly that wuz eli. eli wuz fifteen munths yunger n me n that meens thays no time in this life that i kin member that dont have him innit. we dun mos thangs together that ye kin do, fishin n playin baseball n listin to musik n readin books n all, but whenever twuz time fer me to go to hi skool, everthang changed n seemed lack i dint hardly see him much. mos kids hung out with stoodints in thar own grade, n so did we.

whenever i cum home frum californy with darlene, seem lack eli dint have hardly no time. he even wurked at shoneys a spell, but he never had no time to do much, n i wuz always with darlene n dont seem lack eethur of us noticed it much. then after darlene n me had been a'gittin hi ever weekend for a munth or so, we made a refernts to theevil weed sumhow, n eli pickt it rite up n nex thang ye no its our habit to have eli over fer pizza n music n gittin hi. h brought frank zappa n that wuz grate. we musta listened to 'we're only in it for the money' a thousand times.

'is the song over?'

n darlene discovered firesign theatre, n we listened to that n lafft n gut to whar we could quote the entire thang n sumtimes we wood git hi n do that. n sumtimes brew wood cum over too, but he wuz younger n never seemed cumfortable round darlene. back whenever we wuz wurkin at shoneys big boy restrunt we used to go fishin ever mundy with brew n whenever darlene got on out at the plant, she dint have time to fish no more, witch she sed sumthin bout fishin bein cruel n inhumane n that wuz a sore point. so mainly twuz eli n darlene n me.

corse, eli gut to whar he wuz a cravin sum female cumpny, so he wood brang over sumbidy now n then or we wood go out n then cum back to our place on a counta his wuz always a mess. corse we wuz always a'wontin to git hi n listen to musik, n when ye thank bout it, thats not the best sitchewayshun to meet sumbidy.

then he brung over a gurl name of magda mruzinski, witch she wuz a furst genrayshun polish gurl. she had green eyes n a millyun freckles n thick curly har the color of a carrot, witch they call it red but its really orange. turnt out i dun new her frum hi skool on a counta she wuz in the acksellerated classes. we hadnt ever spoken much till she cum over but that nite everthang i sed seemed to hit her funny bone. we wuz a listen to 'how can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all' n we new all the words n she wuz amazed.

thang wuz, eli woodnt say a wurd, so twuz darlene n magda n me n befor ye new it, eli dun went to sleep on the couch, witch we wuz sittin in the floor lack we always dun.

sumtime after midnite darlene sed she had to go to bed n wood i mind given madga a ride on a counta she dint wonta wake eli. so i agreed, n twuz a miss take i dint even notice i wuz a'makin till i found myself a'sittin in our red vega out in front of magda mruzinski's parents' apartment up on hillside n we wuz laffin n her hand cum down on my thigh n that made us laff harder n nex thang ye no we wuz a'kissin n then she had her shirt unbuttoned n her bra cum undun in front. n seemed lack thay wuz no turnin back cept we had nary a place to go on a counta she lived with her folks.

twernt a obstackull to keep us apart fer long, n long bout wendsdy of the nex week, she wuz sittin on our floor n we wuz a smokin a joint n listnin to grateful dead. darlene wuz takin classes three evenins a week but i had wendsdy off. n no sooner did we finish a smokin that joint than we dun whut she cum thar fer on a counta we dint wonta cut thangs close on when darlene wuz a cumin home. n by the time we made our way back to our bedroom, witch i hate to add mitt the truth witch we dun it in our bed, darlenes n mine, but we wernt barly thar when i wuz a wunderin whut i wuz a'doin n a'wishin i could git out of it.

corse, i dint n whenever twuz over, witch i couldnt seem to reach my own satisfackshun but she gut hers n seemed lack she gut her feelins hurt on a counta she felt lack twuz her fault n i tole her she could see fer her ownself the effeck she had on me n twuz fun whut we dun n dint matter, n ye mite could say i tride to cunvints her that twuz ok but she woodnt buy it n i dont blame her.

twuz the only time we dun it tho i saw her now n then n we wuz friendly.

darlene cum home late that nite, n i wuz glad on a counta i wuz alreddy in bed by the time she got thar. she woke me up on a counta she wonted to talk. i could see she wuz trunled by sumthin n i wondered fer a hot mint did magda call her. but she had to pee so i gut up n smelt the bed to see did it smell of sex, witch i had dun swapt the sheets. she stayed in the bathroom long a nuff to change into a nite gown n i wuz sprized twuz a sexy one that she wood normly only whar ifn we wuz a plannin on havin sex, witch we dint do that whenever she had classes, least we never had.

she cum to bed n wuz all serius n she ast me to hold her n i wuz alreddy dun egsited frum earlier n that seemed lack it wuz too hot fer her to handle n i tride to pull away n she wonted to cry, witch i could feel her shakin n trine to hold in the sobs. then i pulled her closer n tole her twuz ok to let it out n cry ifn she had to n she cummenced a'doin jes that, long a nuff till my own egsitmint kindly begun a'droopin.

then she tuck to cumfessin bout how she had dun been havin this crush on her boss mr john post, n she dint seem to be able to git it outta her mind, n twuz a makin her crazed n frustraitid.

then she ast wuz thar sumthin rong with her. corse i ast her whut did she mean on a counta everbidys dun gut sumthin rong with em.

but she dint answer. in sted she sed she needed to tell me sumthin, n i sed she could go ahed, a'thankin i needed to tell her sumthin too.

n she tole me the story of her long crush on mr john post, on the way they flirtid at wurk n sumtimes he wood touch her behind jes a nuff whar she could feel it but not a nuff to whar she could holler bout it n she lacked it n wundered how she could git him to take the nex step but he dint seem to no whut to do. so she ast him to take her to lunch n when they wuz out she splaint to him bout our open marrg, witch it made my hart jump to here her say open marrg n i wuz a feelin all hot n ashamed.

fer sum reason my bidy tuck that momint to respond n she seemed lack she wuz happy with the develpmint n she kindly wriggled her bidy a lil closer to mine. then she went on to splain how mr john post tole her he wuz temptid n that he felt the same thang only he dint thank miz cecilia post wuz lackly to give him a deevorce.

at that, darlene stoppt n put her hed aginst my chest n ast me to fergive her fer whut she wuz bout to say, n i sed i wood on a counta what kin ye say in a spot lack 'at? so she splaint that she dun tole mr john post that she dint wonta git marrd to him ner nuthin lack 'at, jes to take advantidge of the fack that thays a sexshull revolushun a'goin on.

that turnt out to be sum powrful bait, n mr john post, he tuck it n sed when could they meet. n darlene ast him to meet her after her class n they wood figger sumthin out n she specktid he wood git a motel room or sumthin, but he mayhap specktid she wood do the same but they dint do neethur of em doot but so they jes parked up on the hill tween oak ridge n olver sprangs, witch twuz the verr same joe noles used whenever he wuz a larnin me how to git hi.

she cummenced to crine then so i waited but i noticed that the hole time she wuz crine she wuz a tremblin sos to rub up aginst me n keep me innerestid n twurked till whenever she tole how he touched her n how she touched him, twuz sum hot wurds she used n her moovmints wuz a match fer em.

n then put her lips rite nex to my ear n whispered who he baiged her to do sumthin that wuz well deescribed in that book name of mouth girl.

she lickt my ear n i shivered. agin she pullt me verr close n ast me to unnerstand, n she splaint how she wuz enticed into doin it, usin a nuff detail to make me unnerstan her seesire n all the while a'twitchin n turnin n keepin me on the edge. n whenever she wuz dun splainin everthang, rite down to how he dun tole her he dint thank they should do this kinda thang innymore, she ast agin could i fergive her n could i unnderstand how she felt.

but she dint need to ast, on a counta she could tell egzackly how well i unnerstood. n she tuck a holt of the evidents n away we went. twuz one of the hottest nites of our marrg.

so i guess ye mite could say thay wuz good reason why i dint tell her bout magda, witch we dun promissed each other we wood tell everthang ifn we ever dun innythang. so not tellin her wuz a lie on a counta when ye dont keep a promiss you turnt into a lie.

darlene lacked to sleep on her lef side with my rite hand in hers. she pullt me closer n seemed lack she wuz breethin heavy befor yer could say jimmy crack corn. but i couldnt sleep fer thankin n wunderin n feelin lack i wuz gilty of a crime on a counta whenever i dint keep that promiss to darlene, twuz the start of tellin her lies.

i had dun crossed a nuther one of them lines.

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