wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 16:
the acksident

the wurst thang that cum frum that trip to san fran cisco wuz howt made everthang i wuz a'doin seem differnt. i cant splain why but sum kinda way i wuz wishin i wuz up thar with virgil n i cudnt seem to git if offn my mine n corse that made wurk a tiresum thang. 

fur the furst time i saw whut mr dimund wuz a gittin at whenever he sed twuz wage slavry. seemt lack twuz n the overseer wuz a dicktater, witch that wuz the night shift manjer arnie hafner frum nebraska. he wuz a lil runt of a man but he pusht everybidy roun all the time. fack is, seemt lack he n me, we cudnt git along hardly. nuthin i did wood suit him n i gut to whar i wuz a fitin him back n he reeportid me strate to dick screema.

nex evnin thays news that dick screema wonted me to see him nex day at 3 pm n seemt lack arnie wuz a'woofin in his hart that dick screema wood ax me n i half hopet he mite. but thay say ye ought not woof n it proovd to be true this time too.

dick screema tuck me into his office n he give me a book, witch twuz the fountinhed by ann rand but i dint reed it in time. then he sat me down n give me a good talkin to. tole me id started out as a fine wurker, willin to do whutever it takes.

'What happened to the Tennessee Volunteer who never turned down any job? Who would mop or shilly shine or whatever i asked him. No questions, just a quick, "Yes, sir!" What happened to him? Now you act as if work were a problem. And you're becoming a problem.'

i add mitted it n i splaint that wurk had dun turnt borin n seemt lack i wudnt a'gittin no whar but jes a spinnin my weels. n he sed wood i cunsider takin the job of prep man at anuther store. i tole him it seemt lack he wonted to have it both ways, git rid of me n keep me n that made him laff. then he tole me he had to do sumthin about the arnold problem n that took me by surprize but i dint say nuthin.

fack is, he wuz a'givin me a chants to git a new start, n i needed it, n i tole myself id make thangs differnt.

wurkin prep man mint ye had to be thar by 4:30 am latest so i had to leev out by 3 am or 2:30 on a counta i lackt to git thar urly. twernt eezy to make the switch the furst time, but i gut uset toot purty quik.bein prep mint cuttin the lettuce n makin the onion rings n strawberry pies n makin sure the lines wuz stockt n the greese more or less cleen a nuff, that kinda thang. twernt bad wurk n i wuz trine hard not to have the urge to quit everythang n take off fer san fran cisco.

but it never cum to that. in sted, as i wuz a drivin home one evenin, heddin due west, i let the sun git in my eyes n misst it whenever this car stoppt in front of me. jes lack that, i crasht in toot n broke my lef laig.

twuz a brake in my life too. thay put a cast on me n sent me home with a bill i cudnt pay n i cudnt wurk neethur n fack is at furst i cudnt do much of nuthin cept lie in bed n watch tv n reed sum. n turnt out my laig wuznt heelin strate n them doctors wonted to do a operayshun to brake it agin n make it strate, but on a counta thay wuz no money n i wuz wurried a nuff bout the bills i dun had, i tole em id make do. miz deeanjello wonted to hep but i woodnt here't.

she wuz a grate nurs to me n she sed she wood wave the rent agin n when i ast cud i watch her wave it, she lafft. she wood cum in everday when mr deeanjello wuz a drowzin in front of the tv n we'd study us sum bibl n talk bout thangs n ifn twuz late a nuff, say 3:30 or so, she mite cunsider havin a glass of wine or sum vodka n squirt, n then she'd wont to talk n make jokes about her stripper bein laid up.

n turnt out she tole me more bout her life n that made me see her a bit differnt that i dun befor. she wuz born in see cawkus new jerzy n wuz razed cathlick jes lack mr deeanjello n turnt out thay met eech other at church. but thangs wuznt eezy, n one day she tole me sumthin that made her cry buckits.

whenever she wuz jes sizteen she wuz a'studyin the bibl n the catakizm n she fell in luv with a semunary studint. twuz tragickul on a counta the studint wuz a studyin up to becum a preest, witch in thar relijun revernds is callt preests n thay aint allowt to marry nor even have sex, witch i ast her dint that seem unnatcherul n she sed she reckont twuz but she hadnt never questchunt such thangs till she wuz much older. n then she fount the 'truth' bout bein a witness n all n she dint have to questchun thangs agin.

but the tragickul love dint seem to wont to leev em be n thay cum a time miz deeanjello, witch her name wuz mary flynn befor she gut mard n tuck mr deeanjellos name, so i reckon ye might should say, thay cum a time when miss mary flynn wuz spectin a chile n twood be the chile of the semunary studint only by then he might cud be made into a preest.

n turnt out mr deeanjello, witch miz deeanjello splaint how thay callt him johnny dee back then, turnt out he wuz rite sweet on her n he tole her he lovet her. n his love proovt to be true on a counta whenever she tole him her trubles, he never blinkt oncet n he sed everbidy makes miss takes but dint matter nun to him n he ast her wood she be his wife. n that chile wus a gurl n thay namet her ellen. she gru up to be a lawyer n movet to new york. n thay had em a secunt chile but he dint cum out so well n turnt out twuz a congentle thang, witch that mint twuz cawzed by thar genes n heredty n i nodded my haid lack i new whut she mint even tho i dint. n that chile died befor he wuz six, n thangs wuz never the same fer mr n miz deeanjello.

she kep sayin whut a good man mr deeanjello wuz n how good he treetid her. but fack wuz, she never forgot the preest n thay wuz times that she cudnt stand the site of mr deeanjello n thay wuz times it made her feel gilty how he wuz so good to her n she deespized him n hated the verr thought of tutchin him. n sumtimes she jes wisht she cud pertend twuz all a bad dreem.

then she splaint that she n johnny dee wuz a'goin together from middle skool. n thay wuz in hi skool whenever she fell in luv with that thar preest n she new twuz rong to betray johnny dee thataway. fack is, she almos wisht mr deeanjello wood do to her whut she dun to him. n twuz the furst time i ever herd innyone a'wishin to be done rong n i dint unnerstan it much till i wuz older.

then one day she woke me frum a nap n sed sumbidy wonted to see me n i ast her who but she dint say nuthin jes movet aside, n in cum darlene. miz deeanjello sed she'd go git a vase n pullt the door behine her.

darlene wuz a shure site to see, a'wearin a pink dress she dun new i lackt n white lacy socks n shiny patent lether shoos. n her brown red har wuz pullt back in a french brade. she had sum flowers, witch that wuz why miz deeanjello wuz a lookin fer a vase. twuz rite awkward till miz deeanjello cum back n the flowers wuz safely vaset up. miz deeanjello told us she wood be in the kitchen makin sum dinner ifn we needed her fer innythang n pullt the door closet agin.

we talked bout tha acksident fer a bit n then she ast to see the cast n i pullt up the covers n showed her how twent rite up n by then she wuz close a nuff to kiss n i cudnt say whuther i kisst her or she kisst me but we wuz so hot with desire till it felt lack luv n i have to add mitt i cudnt thank too strate.

n she cum everday n thar wuz kissin n tuchin n thangs pergresst to quite a state n i musta been a thankin poorly or sumthin on a counta sumhow i greed to let her use her savins to git me that thar operashun, witch she dun savet up a passle of money from her lowence n wurkin n whut not. n whenever she sed she wood pay fer that operayshun, that mint thay wuz no way i cud do innything but whut i dun.

witch i ast her wood she be my wife n a corse i new the anser whenever i ast the questchun.