wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 14:
hatchin a plan

oncet i had my own way of gittin aroun, i tuck to ridin that motorsickel everwhar n trine to see sum folks. corse, my wurkin nights mint i wuz in while everbidy at skool wuz out n when i wuz out in the daytime, thay wuz in, so i couldnt see my friens cept on winsday nite n then i had class. but i did my best to see sum folks n i cunfess i drove past whar darlene wuz a'livin a time or two or even mayhap mos ever day when i new she wood be in skool. i dint see her tall tho till after the acksident.

n i rode them hills of the 'see me valley' n thay wuz beeyootifull. saw whar thay made them cowboy n injun movies n got to whar i could take them sharp turns overn toe panga canyun jes lack i wuz a race driver, witch that turnt out to be rong.

thay wuz one place i gut to see sum folks, n that wuz over to the stoatses, witch that wuz virgils parnts n fambly. reckon i aint menshunt em yet, but i got to no em whenever virgil n i wuz still in skool n miz stoats wood pick us up n sumtimes id visit of a evenin n we wood talk bout musik n life n relijun n pall ticks n seem lack we hit toff rite well. thay lackt thar hard likker n thayd be a'drankin. thay had em a peeano n virgil could playt sum n i could figger sum meldies out n we wood take turns n dint seem to matter much whut we playd nor ifn twuz good neethur, longs mr n miz stoats had dun had a few of thar evenin dranks, thay thought twuz wunderful.

thay innerduced me to lots of thangs lack classkal musik n jazz, witch i dun herd of but hadnt never herd befor n twuz sum sweet stuff fer shure. thay also had em this stuff thay callt opry, but twernt all that good seem lack. fer one thang, the sangers couldnt sang in our lingo n fer a nuther thay wuz never no mandlin nor whut ye might call innythang hi lonesome. seemt lack a lot a catterwallin to me n couldnt touch the reel thang, witch everbidy nos thats the gran ole opry in nashvul.

but i listent reel careful n i figger ifn i herd the stuff a nuff, id mos lackly git to lackin it. thats how tiz with musik. aint nun of it all bad. virgil n me, we cum up with a quayshun bout musik that went thisaway: ifn ye lissen hard five times to the same song, even that artifishul opry, ye gone start lackin it mos ever time. thang is, thays folks that goes thar hole lives without ever oncet lissnin hard. mos folks jes use musik to keep the background frum bein too quite.

innywho after my last murkin gummint class, i drove by darlenes n then over to virgils on a counta thay wuz no way i could go home so urly on a counta id be awake all night by habit. i saw that all thar lights wuz a burnin so i parkt my bike n rung thar doorbell. thay wuz happy to see me n insistid i cum in so i did. thay offert me a drank to sellabrate my gittin shed of the gummint class but thay dint have no rc n i wudnt allowd to drank hard likker n thay sed wuznt i a dult n i sed i dint no fer sartin but i new i shouldnt be a'drankin on a counta my famblies a lergic toot.

that gut em a'goin n thay wundert how my fambly could be a lergic to hard likker n i tole em i dint no howt cum to be, but my daddy splaint whut happent whenever we wuz week or stoopid a nuff to drank it, witch we wood git rowdy n say thangs we ought not say n git in fites n genrully do thangs we ought not do n we wood wake up with god awfull hedakes the nex day n be dee hi drated, not to menshun thursty as dust n all. n thay lafft as if i wuz a'makin a joke, witch i wuznt. i tride hard drank later on in life, n turnt out that everthang my daddy claimt bout our how we wuz a lergic wuz true, right down to the hedake.

i tole em water wood be bes n thay brung me sum with ice, witch i never figgert out why thay had to be ice in everthang ye drank. wuznt water genrully the same tempachur as the air? but i never complaint n thay ast me how wuz virgil a'doin n i tole em i wuz thar to ast em the same thang n miz stoats started in to crine n astin dint virgil do nuthin to git in touch n dint i no whar he mighta dun gone? i tole em mos of whut i new, witch that wuz how he wonted a go to san fran cisco to hate ashbury. miz deeanjullo turnt up the tears a notch whenever i sed the wurds hate ashbury n mr stoats had to cum to the rest cue by sayin let me refresh that thar drank.

n by time he cum back with more likker fer him n his wife, she dun dride her tears. turnt out thay wuz wurried bout whuther virgil wuz on drugs n i tole em i dint no but he wudnt on em whenever i wuz last with him fur as i could tell n i dint thank he wuz in need of no medasin.

n whenever i sed that thay right thar tuck the time to straten me out on drugs by splainin bout marywanna n lsd n heroin n all kinda thangs, witch cum to fine out folks wuz a takin medasin even when thay dint need it but jes sos thayd be able to scape reeality n i had to add mitt virgil seem lack he wuz a wontin to scape whenever he lef. i wuz carefull not to menshun innythang bout myra jane.

so we hatched us up a plan, witch twuz that soons i herd sumthin frum virgil, id go up n see could i brang him back n git him offn them drugs he wuz scapin with. n woodnt ye no, i gut a lettr frum him the verr nex week n he tole me whar he wuz n ast why dint i cum up thar n see whut wuz happnin. so i ast dick screema could i have a exter day off n he sed i dun urnt me 2 n i sed thankee n he sed twuz his pleshur n he sed he hoped i membered that ye dont git paid ifn ye aint a'wurkin n i sed thays sackrufices ye have to make in life n this wood be one.

i tole miz deeanjullo whut i wuz a plannin n she seem lack she wonted to tell me i couldnt go but then she sed i wuz a dult n could do whut i lacked but but but n but, but fack is, she couldnt cum up with a but fer it. n she ponderd ont fer a bit n sed i shouldnt try to ride a motorsickle so fur n i had to add mitt i dint no how fur twuz n she sed she wood go with me n i sed ok on a counta whut else could i say?

n thats how i cum to take miz deeanjullo to san fran cisco to hep me try to git virgil offn drugs n to brang him back to his mama.