wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 27:
nixon resines

not long after i gut back frum houston, darlene startid in full time at ut n we gut to wunderin why we dint jes move over thar, so thats whut we dun. we found us a apartment in the married student apartments, the big cracker box one on kingston pike called the kingston apartments. twuz the last place we lived together, and taint no wunder.

by time we dun moved thar, darlene wuz a junyer n wuz wurkin on her prime subjecks, witch thay wuz all relatid to lecktricull injuneerin or math or statistics. she had her a hole new bunch of friens, n we wood go to thar parties, n i wood fine myself sittin n talkin to one of the wives that wuz a'puttin her husbin thru on a counta the stoodints in the crowd had plenty of stoodint stuff to discuss n those of us who wuz jes financin thangs werent in on a lot of the stuff them stoodints new.

meanwhile, i wuz still a'takin classes over to roane state, witch whenever i wuz dun at k-25, i wood point my car in the oppsit direckshun frum knoxvul n by time class wuz over, witch that wuz generly roun 8:45 on a counta the classes run frum 7 fer 1 hour n 45 mints, i had a long drive home. by time i gut to knoxvul n parked the car, twuz 10:30 at best n sumtimes later. n corse, thay wuz folks in my classes at roane state that wonted to go out n do stuff after, n ifn i give in to that, witch i dun it more often than not, twood sumtimes be up into the wee hours of the mornin befor i gut home.

i had me a frien in them days name of john carroll harding or jc fer short. he wuz one of the smartist in the skool n we made friens rite away on a counta he lacked sum the jokes i wood tell in class n he wuz big friens with the libraryun, witch he wuz a skinny man name of hoyt macinturf who tole me one time that the best murkin riters wuz flannery o'connor n ross macdonald. the furst i could see, but i wuz kindly surprised by the second till i had dun red me sum of it. hoyt the libraryun had a frien who taught histry n her name wuz lori jackson. she wuz frum mississippi n wuz a big publican n the five of us gut to whar we mite spend time together at one of thar houses. n sumtimes they wood cum over to knoxvul on a counta darlene new em frum when she wuz a'goin to roane state her ownself.

truth to tell, i had a hot crush on lori jackson n i had dun tole darlene all bout it in much the same way she had tole me bout her crush on mr john post. thangs never gut to the same egstreme with lori that they dun with mr john post, but that dint mean i dint wonta see her n by this time of the marrg we had dun quit fussin n fitin n we gut to whar we wuz talkin open like bout who we wuz a'havin crushes on. corse, ye mite no by now that ye dont talk bout crushes with yer wife or husbin ifn ye git to thankin theys real a nuff fer ye to have specktayshuns.

so thay wuz 2 kinds of parties we wood be tendin, the one with all the lecktricull types over to knoxvul n tuther with my friends frum roane state. n them parties wuz verr differnt.

whenever we wuz at a party with her friens, twuz generly at the house of one of em, n thar wuz one name of grant arnold who wuz rangleader fer the hole bunch. a time or two we had parties over to his parnts house n that wuz a thang to witness on a counta they wuz a'smokin pot rite in frunt of his folks. made me nervus to be thar n i hated fer the joint to cum by me, witch i tuck it innyway. n they wood all be a'talkin bout pall tics n speshly bout them damned publicans, witch in them daze i dint lack that kind a talk all that much on a counta i had jes voted fer nixon a couple years back n i wuz a'rootin fer him to turn out bettern he dun. they wuz also more tuned in to whut kind of music wuz poplar at the time, so we wood hear em playin loggins n messina n souther hillman furay band n poco n flyin burrito brothers n allman brothers n lynard skynard n bands lack them. n they wuz times twuz rite nice. they generly had a good cut of theevil weed n they lacked to turn the conversayshun down n the musik up.

but thay wuz other times when it seemed lack i wuz with a group of folks speakin a differnt langwage. n twuz plane as the nose on yer face that darlene n them had thar secrets that they never bothered a'tellin me, n i cant ritely say i wuz all that innerested. twernt as if i wuz livin a borin life with nuthin to do. fack is, twuz all i could do to keep up with it, n one thang i thought i new fer sartin, n that wuz i woodnt never be stuck in no borin technickul job all my life lack they wuz a plannin on doin, witch ye ought never to say never n my lifes proof of that. so whenever they tuck to discussin thar classes n such, eithur i wood listen to the musik or talk to one of them wives, n that wuz a lot lack a tie football game whar neethur side cums out too happy.

them other parties wuz differnt. fer one thang, twuz jes the five of us, meanin jc harding, hoyt macinturf, lori jackson, darlene n me. dint nobidy smoke innythang at these parties. in sted, we wood have a bottle of wine n cheese n crackers or bread n cold cuts or vegtubles n dip. the musik wuz generly classicull thangs, speshly bach n haydn on a counta they wuz faverts of bof hoyt n lori. n we wood turn the musik down a bit n talk bout thangs lack books n histry n pall tics n whut could nixon do to git out of the trubles he wuz in.

jc n me gut to be rite good friens durin this time. we wood stop by the beer joints in midtown after class. jc wuz a dranker n he new more bout likker than innybidy i ever met befor or since. sumtimes we wood go out a drankin jes sos he could sho me how twuz done without gettin the lergicull symptums. but fer the mos part, we wood stop into a bar in midtown n have beer n shoot pool or talk to sum the gurls that mite cum in.

lord, thay wuz plenty a time when i wood pray that sumthin new wood happen to me. seem lack i wuz jes in range of the innerestin but couldnt quite touch it. thar wuz lori, who couldnta been inny more frienly n she had to no bout my crush on her, but even if thar were momints, lack say when we mite be dancin at a party, when twood seem lack she wuz a'warmin up, the plane fack wuz she had dun had darlene in one of her histry classes n she woodnt introod on our relayshunship. n them gurls in the bars wuz purty nice, but thay wuz a heap of truble in figgern how ye mite see one of em private lack on a counta jc wuz always thar, n fack is, jc wuz a ugly man n no woman wood give him the time of day hardly.

fack is, jc wuz a purtier woman than he wuz a man, n turned out once he gut to whar he could trus me, he tole me bout how whenever he wuz lil, he lacked to dress up in his mamas clothes, jes playin, n his mama thought twuz cute so she wood dress him up n sumtimes even put makeup on his face n he sed twuz a thrill he couldnt never git a nuff of. he dun had him a hed full of long curly har n his jaw wuz weak, only whenever he wood put on his dress n make up his face, ye couldnt hardly tell who twuz, n ifn ye dint no who went into the dress, ye woodnt no twuz a man. n thangs wuz hard on ole jc on a counta he wonted him a gurlfrien but he couldnt brang hisself to tell a woman bout how he lacked to git dressed up lack a woman.

corse, once jc had dun tole me bout his prefernce to dress lack a gurl, he wood wonta doot mos ever time we wuz a'gone do innythang. he new ifn he tole me i wuz a'gone tell darlene, but that wuz ok on a counta darlene dint care no how. so thay wuz times whar jc wood git all dressed up n ast me wood i take him sumwhar that dint nobidy no us so he could git the thrill of bein a woman out in publick.

n purty soon he got to whar he wuz a wontin to let hoyt n lori in on the secret on a counta then whenever we gut together he could 'dress,' witch he lacked to call it 'dressin' whenever he maskeraided as a woman. so he cum up with a plan, n that wuz to brang his weejee bord to one them parties sos he could have the noshun cum up from thar. so thats whut he dun to the verr next party, n even tho i dint thank eethur lori or hoyt or even darlene wood be the least bit innerested in foolin with no witchcraft n all, turnt out they wuz, n nobidy moren lori. so we tuck to testin the differnt combinayshuns of folks n twuz a setup of corse on a counta jc wonted it to be lori n me that run the bord n ye kin see by that he wuz a crafty fella on a counta he new i wood do mos innythang ifn i could doot with lori.

n shure a nuff, whenever lori n i parred up to try our luck with the weejee bord, the thang tuck off lack a scalded dawg. n that made jc rite happy but whut he dint no wuz that i wuznt the one controllin it, witch that meant twuz lori or else thay wuz sumthin to that thar weejee bord that we never specktid. witchever twuz i couldnt never be sartin, but lori swore up n down twernt her a movin it n seem lack she looked at me with suspishun till i tole her twernt me but her, n that settled it fer her. so we tuck to astin all kinda questchuns n gittin all kinda ansers. wood we fine true love? n twuz sed sum wood n sum woodnt. wood we git rich? n twuz sed lackly not. wood we git famous? n twuz sed we wood be better off ifn we could avoid it.

it never sed a wurd bout jc n his desire to dress lack a woman n that wuz a dispointment n it made jc mad on a counta he wuz a'countin on me. so i tride to force the matter, n seem lack i jes couldnt make it go whar i wonted it to. in sted, it tole how nixon wuz a'gone to resine frum bein presdint. n after that, lori woodnt play it no more n i agreed on a counta we bof wuz still rootin fer nixon n bleevd he wuz a good presdint a'gittin dumped on by theevil demcrats.

so jc give up his hope of dressin up fer one of our lil parties, n he settled fer goin out in knoxvul now n then. n i wuznt the leest bit happy. i wuz hopin fer real life, but spendin my spar time with jc, a lettin him git his jollies pertindin he wuz sumthin he could never be.

then cum the day fer nixon to resine, n corse them ut folk gathurd over to grant arnolds n had em a party to watch it, n they wuz all a'jumpin with glee n gloatin bout the end of nixon. i tride to tend lack i wuz happy, but i wuz feelin lack i had dun watched tennessee give the game to alabama on a unforced fumbl. i member rite after he give the speech n everbidy wuz a jumpin n hollerin n a'carryin on, n i tuck that momint to go to the bathroom sos i dint have to be thar fer sum of the celebrayshun. then whenever i wuz a cumin back, i herd grant arnold say to darlene that he betted her boyfrien wood be happy, n twuz sartin he dint mean me. he even sed sumthin lack too bad about yer husbin, tho i cant be postive thats whut i herd or only whut my memry hears now. but twuz no differnt than twood a been ifn i had herd it.

on a counta, that nite, i started changin my way of thankin bout mos thangs in my life. twuz the nite that started me on the rode to bein a demcrat sted of a publican. twuz the nite i had to begin ceptin that my marrg wuz a gone to end. but the wurst wuz still cumin.

darlene ansered grant arnold back that she dint thank i wood be too broke up overt on a counta seemed lack all i wonted to do wuz hangout with a transvestite n git drunk. twernt fair to jc but i never spent a nuther spare mint alone with him, tho i did go to his batchler party whenever he marrd that nurse from oneida.

but by then, darlene had dun moved out.