pinions of buddy don: how to pay fer everthang, even the deficit

i thank i have finely sussed out whut the folks that wonts to privatize n then phase out soshul securty n replace it with private accounts is a'gettin at. tiz so simple that innbybidy mite coulda missed it:

1. the treasury notes (sumtimes known as wurthless paper iou's) whar they invested the soshul securty surplus fer the las 22 years returns only bout 2% a year
2. but them privatizers lacks to point out how stocks fer the las 75 years has returned closer to 10%

so i cum up with a skeme based on this that ye could use to start payin fer other thangs. fer eggzample, ye gut to pay the intrest on the $7.6 nashunull debt, witch ye mite not thank tiz all that much compard to no $11 trillion, but ye start addin up $300 billion a year (since 1995) n purty soon yer talkin bout sum real money! fack is, tiz bout 11% of the budget now!

so heres my questchuns:

• why dont the gummint sell a nuff treasury notes that pay 2% n use the money to invest in the stock market fer a 10% gain sos ye could pay the monthly intrest on the nashunul debt?
• why not sell even more of them bonds that cost ye jes 2%, put the money in stocks fer 10% n jes go ahead n pay off the hole nashunul debt?
• but why stop thar? couldnt ye jes keep on till ye wuz razin a nuff money to pay fer everthang the gummint has to pay fer? that way, we woodnt need no taxes atall!
• ifn i could sell bonds my ownself, woodnt it make sense fer me to do that, put all the money into stocks, live off all the free lunch incum n quit a'wurkin?
• in other wurds, ifn this here skeme is so good, why aint everbidy a'usin it sos they woodnt half to wurk nor do nuthin else but colleck thar profits?

corse, we plain folks caint sell bonds n probly caint git no loan fer 2%. but the gummint can! ifn tiz such a good idee to use on our soshul securty, why aint the folks in charge usin it to pay fer everthang?

or could it be that i wuz rite to be stubborn bout not bleevin in this here free profit skeme? i hope not on a counta how ifn we kin git this a'goin, aint no reason we couldnt use sum of the profits leftover after payin fer everthang else to make us a perpetual motion machine!