Friday, February 18, 2005

blessins of buddy don: brake fer countin blessins

i aint a'gone janx my ownself by braggin that i beat this last migraine i been a'havin fer nigh onto a week, but seems lack i am a'gittin close ifn i aint thar yet. durin this moment of relief, tiz only rite to count up the minny blessins thats been revealed by whut ima gone thru.
  1. i gut my own soul mate fer my wife, witch ima gone tell much more bout her n me in the long run of that novel i been a'ritin name of life n pinions of buddy don, hillbilly.

  2. i dun mentchuned my job n the grate boss i gut, witch they been nuthin but hepful all along.

  3. i gut a verr fine primairy keer fizzishun, as they call em these daze, witch ima call him dr gp lack genrul pracktishner -- innywho, tiz a blessin to have such a docter.

    to give ye a idee of whut kinda feller his is, his offus is deckorated by pitchers his children dun, witch i lack the one name of 'cool silly daddy.' turnt out he marrd a woman frum oak ridge, witch that hepped him understand how a bidy could have orange blood.

    but the mane grate thang bout this feller is how he duz his docterin. he dont tell ye whut ye gutta do, he splains whut he thanks ye gut n whut yer opshuns fer gittin well is. he also gits a good idee bout ye n gits to whar he knows yer a'gone lack one kinda treatment bettern a nuthern. hes open to alterntiv idees lack ackupunktchur, witch he evens uses em his ownself ifn they wurk.

    so whenever i woke up sick on windsdy, i deecided to go see im ifn i could git a pointment, witch i dun it n i reckon i dun rote bout it, more or less. i dint git a chants to splain how thatn cum out, so here goes. after he checked to make short twuz mos lackly migraines a'makin me vomit, he tole me thay wuz two ways i could go, witch he dint thank i wood be innerested in one of em, witch thats to use a bunch of beta blockers to make it so yer bidy dont git migraines ceptn it duz git a long list of side effecks. he wuz rite that i dint wonta do that ifn i could hep it. he figgerd tuther treatment wood soot me better, witch tiz gittin ackupunktchur n takin a bunch of chinese erbs.

    i tole im in ackshul fack i wood try innythang, even them beta blockers, ceptn he wuz rite how i wood prefer to use the lease medicin possibull. so he calls the ackupunktchur place n asts could i git a pointment fer that verr day. he lef a message on thar machine n tole me how they wuz down near the worl finantshill center. i hadnt et nuthin on a counta bein too sick so he give me a zomig n tole me to take it n eat. as ye kin see, thays a hole slew of blessins in havin a docter lack i gut.

  4. as ye mite know, thays sumtimes blessins mixt in with other blessins, so turnt out thay wuz a sprize exter blessin mixt in with all i had to do on windsdy, witch part of it wuz how i woodnt take no zomig out in publick on a counta how tiz a knockout drop fer me, so i had to go home n eat a baked tater miz bd made fer me, witch that meant i gut to see her befor a'goin to the ackupunktchur place.

  5. witch that thar leads to a nuther blessin on a counta how miz bd has been a'studyin all kindsa medicin all her life n chinese is the one she lacks the bes.

  6. witch they wuz even blessins mixt in with them blessins on a counta to git down to that ackupunktchur place we had to take the path train over to lower man hattan n twuz the furst time we had dun it since they gut it a'wurkin agin after nine one one. whut a site twuz on a counta ye could see whar the old tubes wuz that the path trains run in befor n ye could git a rite good view of the cunstruckshun site down in thar n twuz nuthin short of a blessin to see all that.

  7. turnt out that thar ackupunktchur place is a nuther blessin. i aint never had no docter treat me lack they dun thar.

    furst, a woman name of abby tuck me n miz bd to a lil room with a bed n a cuple chars in it n then she ast me a passle of questchuns bout mos everthang i do in life, even thangs ye dont never talk bout lack movin yer bowels n whuther ye sleep easy or wake easy or have dry mouth or cold hands or lose yer deesire fer sex or have a stressful job or eat red meat n more other questchuns that i caint member em all. n that aint all. whenever she tuck my pulse, she tuck it on bof sides n noted the differnts twixt em. she also looked at my tung.

    then a feller name of frank cum in n he tuck my pulse n looked at my tung lack abby had dun.

    he ast me to take off all my cloze ceptn my underwhar so i dun it n lay me down on a table they had n frank tole me twoodnt hurt nun while he wuz rubbin a lil liquid on my hands n feet n then quick as ye blank a'stickin four lil needles in me, one in each hand n one in each foot. then i lay thar fer a while n near fell asleep -- miz bd claims i did fall asleep.

  8. then i wuz sprized when abby cum in n give me a massage, witch twuz a nuther unlooked fer blessin.

  9. after that frank splained how westurn medicin tries to cuntrol the symptums of migraines but chinese medicin tries to put yer bidy back into balants to whar ye dont have no migraines atall. frank wuz positiv they could beat them thangs, witch jes havin sumbidy be so shore the problem could be beat wuz a nuther blessin. ye dont here that kinda thang bout migraines much. he splaind how i wood half to cum back ever week, keep a diary of everthang i ate n ever migraine i had n drank sum erbs everday, witch they wood be shipped frum chinatown n ever week he wood look over whar i wuz n adjust them erbs ifn he they needed changin.

  10. whenever me n miz bd cum outta that offus, we saw a nuther thang that ye mite could thank wood be a curse, but twuz probly a blessin, witch twuz how whenever we went in to that ackupunktchur place, twuz warm but whenever we cum out, twuz verr cold n rainin, witch alreddy my scalp wuz a'gittin tender n by yeterdy mornin, twuz a painful scrape of scalp so i tuck the medicin twice n slep mos of the day away n mayhap even that wuz a blessin on a counta once i woke frum a sleep so deep miz bd wuz a'scairt i had quit breathin, i wuznt havin that migraine no more. fack is, that migraine lasted frum last fridy till last nite.
im a'feelin lack a holler log of a persun now, witch tiz a common feelin ye git whenever yer migraine finely brakes or lease i do. innywho, i wuz deelited to read a comment made while i wuz 'out' yesterdy whar red molly had dun red all 130 chapturs of life n pinions of buddy don, hillbilly. thats near 1,000 pages of readin. ifn sumbidy kin read thru all that, then it must be wurth a'doin. n thats a nuther blessin.

as ye kin see, i gut blessins beyond countin!

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