weekend plans of buddy don: outta towners a'cumming to visit

me n miz bd has big plans fer the weekend. her bruther n his wife is cummin to visit, manely to see the big city fer the furst time but also to visit us. ye kin make all the plans ye lack bout the city n never git everthang dun. her bruther wonted to see a game at yankee stadium, fer instunts, but the yankees is on the road. he aint innerested in seein no mets, even ifn they are playin them phillies, witch theys my favert team. so heres sum idees of whut we gut planned.

1. we lacks to take folks to one of our favert restrunts name of vatan, witch tiz a indian restrunt that serves such good vegetaryun food that even our meat-eatin friends lacks it. so ifn possibull, we plan to take em thar, mayhap the verr furst nite.
2. gittin thar shouldnt be no problem on a counta thays these ny waterway ferry boats ye kin take to git acrosst the hudson river over into man hattan. oncet ye dun gut thar, they gut free buses to take ye most places in midtown, witch thats whut they call the parts of man hattan twixt 23rd street n the bottom of the park round 59th street, witch folks calls central park 'the park,' kindly lack the call man hattan 'the city.'
3. corse, we hopes to take em to keens chophouse whar they kin git em sum good red meat n me n miz bd kin git us sum exoticull makes of sangle malt scotch. heres a lil quote bout keens scotch colleckshun:
   

   Keens Chop House
   Steakhouse has been a fixture since 1876, when this was the Tenderloin. Noted for its collection of thousands of pipes smoked by notable customers. Also has one of the biggest selections of Scotch in Manhattan--204 varieties.

   we hope we kin have a lil scotch tastin at home, but miz bd sez they lacks to mix thangs in thar dranks n i wood hate to waste good scotch thataway. mayhap a wee dab of water fer yer dram of scotch, but innythang else is ruinin good scotch. we gut sum blends they could waste by porin in thangs lack coke ifn they wonts to.
4. we hope we kin git em to take the circle line tour, witch ye git in a boat n listn to yer guide makin jokes bout new york city while ye ride all the way round the island. we dun been on it a few times n ever time we go we larn lots of new thangs bout 'the city.'
5. we wish thay hadnt been that dispute twixt the unions n the cumpnies on broadway on a counta twuz impossibull to commit to buyin no tickets on a counta twuz feared them theaters wuz a'gone be dark. ifn we coulda dun it, we wooda seen the producers. corse, problem with that is how them tickets costs $185 each, witch thats way too rich fer our blood.
6. corse they probly plan on seein the statue of liberty, witch thays a cuple ways ye kin do that. furst, ye kin pay fer a tour. tuther way to git a purty good look at it n shoot ye sum pitchers is to take a free ride on the staten island ferry.
7. they gut plans on gittin em sum nite life, witch thats one of the mane reasons we gut kids. we figger twixt the two kids n us, they orta be able to do mos innythang thay lacks. me n miz bd aint in the habit of stayin out real late, lack past 10 pm, tho we have dun it a time or two. but them kids lacks to stay out all nite long.
8. corse, thays a slew of myou-see-ums they kin visit:
1. myou-see-um of natchrul histry
2. metropoltun myou-see-um of art
3. guggenheim
4. whitney myou-see-um of amurkin art
5. myuou-see-um of televishun n radio
6. myou-see-um of modern art
7. mta transit myou-see-um
8. new york city fire myou-see-um
9. nashunull myou-see-um of the amurkin injun
10. n minny more
9. mayhap sum musick or other events, witch ye kin figger out mos innythang thats a'goin on here.

should be fun!