Monday, October 09, 2006

reefleckshuns of buddy don: bein sick

thay aint much of nuthin that kin focus yer mind on whuts importunt moren bein sick kin do. i aint talkin bout havin a cold, but bein sick in a way whar ye almost could wish twood jes be over.

last sundy mornin, i woke with that dam sensitivity in a streak on the lef hand side of my hed. about nine times outta ten that means i am a'gone git a migraine, startin with the vomitin kind n then goin who knows whar.

but as paneful as that spot mite git, taint no migraine n it dont even always mean a migraine is cummin on.

but whenever i woke up on mundy mornin, thay wudnt no more doubt possibull on a counta i had to vomit bout as quik as i gut to the bathroom to begin my mornin ablushuns. i couldnt fite the facks, speshly since miz bd could see i wuz sick, so i tuck the imatrex n tride to git thru the horribull day. miz bd dun everthang she could do, puttin me in a hematite grid, witch she makes me lie down n putts hematite on differnt ackupunkchur spots. i caint say that it makes thangs git better, but it do seem to stop em fer a bit.

even so, i wuz still so sick that i spent much of the day goin frum one place to a nuther, seekin a spot whar i dint feel the urge to vomit. fer sum reason, i git this urge to git down on my knees with my hed on the floor, as if that mite make thangs better.

but it dont matter whut posishun ye git in, witch purty soon i find myself in the same place: lyin ion a fetal posishun up in the bed, no sound allowd, pillers on each ear, almos holdin my breath n waitin fer the crisis to pass. i generly fall asleep n git up late in the evenin. furst thang miz bd asts me is ifn i am ok, witch i caint tell on a counta bein so tard.

innywho, nex day, same thang, vomitin befor i could barely git a'goin. it woke miz bd, so she putt me in the grid n then give me sum reiki, witch that made it so i dint run around trine to git in a posishun that woodnt hurt, but quik as she wuz dun, them symptums cum up jes as strong as befor.

but windsdy wuz a lil different n i caint hep but wunder bout them rebound migraines. i caint tell ifn thats whut twuz. i only know that at about the same point in my daily rooteen, i notissd sumthin bein in my eye. it tuck me a nuther twenty mints to real eyes thay wudnt nuthin in my eye but i wuz havin parshull blindness.

now the thang bout that parshull blindness, lack that sensitivity on my hed, is how it dont bother me that much. tiz gentle, if innythang. i jes caint bleeve it means i am a'gone have the horror of a migraine follerin after it. i also caint tell thats whut tiz rite away.

corse ye pay fer delay: once i tuck my medicine on windsdy (or thursdy when i almost gut out the door till miz bd notissd i wuz lookin strange or even fridy), twuz too late to avoid the pane, witch in my case, it starts rite at my lef eye n covers most of the lef hand side of my hed. tiz so distink that ye half to thank tiz sumthin rong in there, lack a tumor a'growin or sumthin.

whuts almost the wurst thang bout it is how once them docters figger ye git migraines, then they aint too upset over yer bein sick fer six n one half days in a row.

fack is, i dint git over the migraines till i went to see my ackupunkchurist, Christina Morris at Element Healing. she give me a early appointment on saturdy, furst day we could git together (her husbin had jes tuck her to paris fer her birthdy). bout as quik as she gut them needles in me, i gut to feelin better fer the furst time since sundy.

but i still felt on the edge fer the rest of the day. i couldnt reelax n feel good. thang is, ye git to whar yer in a constunt cringe, waitin fer the next blow to hit.

i wont bore ye with everthang ye thank bout while yer waitin fer the pane or the nausea to give ye a brake. i git deepressd, skeerd i will lose my job, skeerd i will have a stroke. odd thang is, i feel lack my hed is bout to eggsplode, but whenever miz bd takes my blood preshur, tiz on the low side, 90 over 56, witch that aint all that low fer me. but tiz odd how ye kin feel so differnt frum how ye are.

but the point is how ye go frum wurryin the furst day over deliverabulls ye gut at wurk to wurryin bout how minny days ye bin sick to wurryin bout whuther ye will ever be abull to wurk agin to whuther ye kin live thru it.

ye real eyes how most of the thangs ye wurry bout everday aint all that importunt cumparrd to livin n dyin n bein abull to hold yer hed up with yer eyes open in brite lite.

but a nuff of me bellyachin bout havin migraines.

fack is, i pray i never have no reason agin to bore ye with talk of migraines. my plan is to see the newrallogist on fridy (furst day he could see me, witch he dint thank a 6.5 day migraine wuz nuthin to git all botherd bout since i am known to have migraines). i wont im to test my liver sos i kin start takin depakote.

i know tiz eggstreme, but i half to do sumthin to stop these thangs frum cummin on.

(ifn ye wonta make a comment, ye gut to click on 'link' below.)

3 comments:

Tennessee Jed said...

I am sure that the perspective of feeling near death changes ones focus on what matters. Don't ever worry about feeling like you are belly-achin' to your readers here as I think I speak for all of us when I say that we are interested in your view of what is happining to you on your life trip. I do hope you can find a way to get the monster under control, and I am thinkin' good thoughts your way.

red molly said...

I agree with jed about the 'belly-achin'. I too am interested in how you are feeling. Have you ever been tested for having a wheat allergy? Hope the migraines are gone for good...soon.

CM Edwards said...

Man, Buddy Don, I hope you're going to be alright.

Good thoughts to you coming from our home too, brother.