pinions of buddy don: the k street address

the battle wuz a bloody one n as is generly the case, them publicans pummeld them dimcrats. ye wood thank them dimcrats could win jes one ever once in a while, but whenever it cum to gittin thar fair share of jack abramoffs bounty, they lost much wurser than usc dun to texas. scores:

number of them publicans givin back abramoff funds = 37 (75.51%)
number of them dimcrats givin back abramoff funds = 12 (24.40%)

amount publicans dun give back = $463,099 (67%)
amount dimcrats dun give back = $228,092 (33%)

as ye kin see, them dimcrats hardly putt up inny fite, witch tiz a tradishun they been a'usin ever since that 2000 landslide eleckshun they lost 5-4 (55% - 44%).

but whut a battle twuz! fack is, even the ghost of abe lincoln's evil twin, knave lincoln, cum out to give a lil address on it. here tiz:

The K Street Address

One decade and a couple of years ago our fathers brought forth on this street, a new notion, conceived in avarice, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created corruptible.

Now we are engaged in a great K Street Project, testing whether that notion, or any notion so conceived and so dedicated, can endure long enough to ensure everlasting single party rule. We are met on a great money field of that war. We have come to dedicate a small portion of the funds gobbled up here, as a final resting gesture for party operatives that sacrificed their honor and honesty that the great project might succeed. It is altogether sly, duplicitous and hopefully effective that we should do this.

But, in a large sense, we can not implicate – we cannot desecrate – we cannot hollow out this money trough. The base men and women, free and under indictment, who fed at this trough, have desecrated it, far about government's poor power to add or detract. The main stream media will little note, nor long remember, what we took here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the unindicted, rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who bought and sold votes here have thus far so ignobly advanced. It is rather for us to be dedicated to the great task remaining before us – that from these dishonorable plea bargainers we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of their integrity – that we here highly resolve that these indicted (and, heaven forbid, convicted) victims shall not have violated all ethical standards in vain – that this notion, under the radar, shall have a new birth of depravity – that government of the corporations, by the corporations, for the corporations, shall not perish from the beltway.