Tuesday, January 20, 2004

life of buddy don, chaptur 97:
back on our feet again

thays a sayin that thangs is darkest jes befor dawn, witch ye mite also say the pendulum gits to its highest point on one side befor swangin back on a counta thangs kin only go so far n either they gits ye to disaster n everthangs over or not. ifn ye live to tell the tale, then tiz lackly thangs dint git to outrite disaster, witch tiz obveeus they dint git to disaster with us or else i woodnt be ritin this.

the turnin point wuz that day i gut to go home n risk everthang fer a lil hot sex. twuz lucky the risk dint cause further damage. corse, thays no causal relayshunship twixt my bein able to go home fer a visit n all the good that finely started happnin, or at lease, not everthang is related. fer one, twuz a bit of good luck how the fambly gut news of our plight n started sendin us a lil money. furst cum the $20 frum maureen, witch thatn wuz jes her bein nice in generul. then cum $50 frum mama on a counta she had gut the news by letter. twuz too eggspensive fer even a thought bout a phone call, so we sent off letters as quick as we knew we wuz stuck with that operayshun, n as soon as mama red one, she tuck $50 frum daddy behind his back n sent if off speshul deelivery, witch jes that cost near half the $50. then daddy sent us $150, n we wuz feelin almos rich by then.

but thar wuz this one conneckshun with that visit n that wuz how it gut emily out n fitin fer us agin. ye mite could thank that emily wuz too weak to carry on, but ye wood be rong. it has been my observayshun of folks that them that whines n cumplains n cries easy n sez thay cant bleeve how bad thangs is, well, theys jes as lackly to be the ones that does carry on n make it, cryin n moanin n cumplainin the hole time, but gittin thangs dun. so twuz with emily.

i mentchuned how she wuz deepressd n crine n all, but whut i dint mentchun wuz how twixt her tears she wuz sayin, 'sine this' n 'read that' on a counta how she wuz gittin all the paperwurk reddy sos she could go down to the po-leece n register n then to the d-a-a-d n testify bout how we wuz marrd n had the papers to proov it n planned to stay together the hole year we wuz here n wood sine papers to promiss as much, witch she had me sine em n gut herr friedrichs to witness fer us.

thang wuz, she wuz hopin i wood git out n go doot on a counta how she hated to speak inny german, but thar wuznt no hep fer it, so she tuck them papers n a letter i had writ to my folks n off she went. furst she went down to leipziger strasse, witch that street twuz more or less the main drag in our part of frankfurt am main, n got her a pitcher made witch they calls a passbild, witch that means tiz a pitcher ye could put on a passport. she needed that pitcher fer them po-leece, but furst she went over to deposit that $50 frum mama n gut out dm85, witch even that wuz hard fer her to do on a counta our bank treated ye lack they wuz shore ye wuz a'gonna rob em sumhow. but she dun it n then went strate to the polizei or po-leece n tuck keer of our anmeldung n aufenthalterlaubnis, witch anmelden means 'to announce' n in this case, twuz registern with the po-leece n aufenthaltserlaubnis means wurd fer wurd 'stopover permission' but stands fer forner residents permit jes the same.

odd thang bout emily is how she wood pinch a penny till it screamed to be set free befor she wood spend it, but once she figgerd we had a nuff, she wood go out n buy the mos useless thang ye could find, witch as soon as she wuz dun with the po-leece chores, she bought a wooden horse with a rider fer a christmus present fer sumbidy back home. i knew we wuz ok then, n fack is, she surprised me with the news that the d-a-a-d had sent dm200 to us n gut it put strate into our bank account, witch ye wood thank they coulda writ us a letter or sumthin splainin that n whenever she gut home, she found the dm700 frum das experiment.

all this happend on windsdy, september 12, witch that wuz a speshul day fer me in a lot of ways on a counta twuz the day darlene n me gut hitched n even tho twuz also my mamas 48th birthdy, bout all i could thank bout wuz how it had dun been 9 years since marrn that furst time n how we had ackshly dun been apart longern we wuz together. but wurst wuz how i knew i still had feelins fer her, witch these wuz feelins couldnt nobidy splain on a counta i dint wonta be with her nohow noway. but i wood have a dream ever so often n thar she wood be n i wood eethur be trine to hurt her by showin off how much in luv with emily i wuz or trine to git her to cum back to be with me.

twuz a blessin that i dint tell emily innythang bout whut day twuz, not even to say how twuz my mamas birthdy on a counta that mite remind her bout my furst marrg. turnt out she knew all bout it n dint mentchun it to me on a counta she dint wont me to git to feelin guilty fer feelin thangs i shouldnt be feelin, witch she unnerstood moren i give her credit fer on thatn. she even splained how i had dicktated a birthdy card furst thang whenever i cum out of surgry, witch she had bought one n ast me whut did i wont her to rite on it n i had tole her n sined it only i dint member nuthin bout it.

twuz late in the day whenever she tole me this. we wuz sittin out on the balcony with herr friedrich n a new payshunt name of herr eckhardt, witch herr eckhradt had lived 12 years in ireland n could speak purty good english in a irish brogue. he piped rite up n sed twuz a good thang emily had dun n ye could tell that he wuz kindly sweet on her even ifn he wuz near 80 years old.

herr eckhardt wuz a innerestin fella n wuz one of the only folks in all of west germany we ever gut to add mitt innythang much bout the nazis. ye mite could thank frum talkin to the folks in our generayshun that thay hadnt never been no thurd reich, but herr eckhardt sed ye had to be honest bout yer miss takes ifn ye wuz a gone git over makin em. since he talked english, me n emily dint have the privacy we wuz used to with jes herr friedrich sittin thar. we couldnt jes sit out on the balcony while i wuz playin chess with herr friedrich n we wuz talkin over our cares n woes in english n couldnt nobidy listen in. in sted, we knew herr eckhardt unnerstood everthang. fack is, he wuz good fer us on a counta how emily dint wonta whine in frunt of him n he give her lots of encouragmint to git out n git her thangs dun. hes the one tole her how she needed to jes git her passbild n anmelden mit der polizei or else, n i thank thats whut gut her to doot.

innywho, he sed a cuple of verr innerestin thangs. fer one, he wuz a lil mad with amurka on a counta how we wuz willin to bomb the germans to the ground but we woodnt push the soviets out of eastern europe. dint we have mayhap 10 millyun soljers thar, reddy to go? couldnt we see how bad thangs had cum out by our not doin that? he sed he knew we had good bombs on a counta how we deestroyed his town of dresden n he figgerd they wood wurk on them soviets jes the same. why did we stop? we tride to splain how we couldnt speak fer our hole cuntry n thays deecishuns that gits made by gummint n as nuthin but a lowly citizen, ye more or less jes half to go long with em.

then he gut onto the marshall plan n how twuz so good fer amurka to do that even if at furst thay wuz a lotta fear on a counta how everthang wuz labeld 'gift,' witch thats the german wurd fer poison. but once they real-eyesd that twuznt poison atall but food n clothin n yew name it, once they saw how we wuz heppin rebuild thar cuntry, mos folk could barely bleeve innbybidy winnin a war wood treat the losers so good. n fer that, he sed, the german peeple wood always luv amurka, no matter whut, even ifn we did let the soviets take whut they dint desurv n led the worl to the brink of nuclear destruckshun, witch he pointed out thay wuznt no marshall plan fer rebuildin after the nex war on a counta thay lackly woodnt be nobidy lef alive n no cuntry fer rebuildin.

then he turnt to emily n his eyes wuz sparklin as he tole her that she wuz gittin sum real german histry frum a real german n he hoped she knew the differnts twixt that n jes gittin it in books. she ast him did he member hitlers rise to power n he gut real quite till she sed she dint mean to insult him. she wuznt trine to blame him nor nuthin. she unnerstood he wuz a citizen n how histry kin be biggern inny lil person, jes lack we couldnt take the blame fer amurka not kickin out the soviets frum east europe.

that gut him goin on a counta he sed twuz the same whenever hitler cum to power. twernt sumthin ever german wuz happy bout, but he sed twuznt lack everbidy knew he wuz a'gonna go n start a worl war. he never mentchuned the concentrayshun camps n fack is, we couldnt find but one sangle german that wood, n she n her sister wuz good friends we wood make later on. but he did add mitt how he wuz verr eggcited whenever he furst herd bout hitler on a counta twuz sumbidy that wonted to stand up fer germany agin them french n english n that awful treaty, witch he meant the treaty of versailles, n he pointed out how twuz such a bad treaty that amurka never sined on toot.

he sed hitler give em hope n gut folks bleevin in tharselves agin. he sed he wuz part of the hitler youth only twuz more lack a soshul club than innythang ceptn he lacked bleevin the germans wuz a grate peeple. he sed twuz good to call out to a peeples pride lack hitler dun, only ye cant let pride becum everthang, n he figgers that wuz part of whar thangs went rong on a counta hitler started bleevin that since germany wuz the mos powerful cuntry in the worl, they could fix all the worls problems, lease the ones they wuz wurried bout. in sted, thay wuz brought low n wood live in shame fer hitler fer all the res of thar histry.

twuz the happiest i had seen emily since we cum. everthang wuz lookin up. the evnin meal cum n we shared it n then i walked her home. that meant i missed the evenin visit frum the docters, but herr friedrich tole me they had seen my pile of books, witch i had agatha christies n friedrich duerrenmatts n the bible n my diary, n herr friedrich sed they wuz rite impressd n figgerd i mus be gittin purty close to bein well.

that nite i tole the nurse i dint thank i wood need no schlafsmittel n i slept real good. nex mornin, jes after havin our coffee, i finely went n tuck my furst dump without the hep of that vile liquid them germans give me befor my operayshun in near a munth. twuz a moment of revelayshun fer me. ye mite could have a millyun dollars, a dozen of the mos beeyootiful women in the worl, the brains of goethe or the heart of saint francis of assissi, but all these thangs woodnt be wurth much of nuthin ifn ye couldnt take a dump. i hadnt never noticed jes how satisfyin it could be, even ifn tiz too disgustin to rite bout.

twuz a sine, tho, n whenever i tole the nurse i had dun made a stuhlgang the nex mornin, i wuz tole she wood tell the chefarzt, witch that wuz the head docter. he tole me i wood be able to go home the nex day, witch that wuz saturdy the 15th.

that evenin, we treated ourself to a nite out, so to speak. i put on one of them three-piece soots n she put on the mexican weddin dress n we went to wienerwald, witch that means 'vienna woods' n i reckon twuz more or less a chain but seemed to us lack a eggsclusive restrunt since twuz the bes place we had been since helmut tuck us out. we bought a cuple glasses of the cheepest wine they had n i toasted her effurts in our behalf, but she sed she wonted to toast sumthin else, so i lifted my glass n she sed, 'to bein back on our feet again.' we clinked the glasses n drank. then she sed we should pay the bill n go home on a counta she had plans fer us n they dint include bein on our feet atall.

whut a nite!

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