wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 93:
ich bin auch aus

i gut to frankfurt west germany on thursdy, august 2, 1979. emily gut thar near a week later on windsdy, august 8. i wuz up early since it seemed lack i couldnt hardly sleep normal times n wuz awake mos ever hour or so. corse i wuz at the airport a'waitin fer her to cum thru, n whenever i finely saw here agin, twuz lack christmus n birthday n jackpot all at once. we had us a real good mint huggin n kissin n all.

then she ast whar did we live. twuz one of the wurse momints yet on a counta i had to tell her we wuz a'stayin at the house of youngns in sachsenhausen, witch furst thang she ast wuz whuther twuz in frankfurt or whar wuz it? i splained how twuz a toursty seckshun of frankfurt but part of frankfurt, jes across die englische bruecke, witch thats the same bridge mark twain rote about in his essay the awful german langwage whar he claimed ye could rite a sentence frum one end of the bridge tuther without givin away whut wuz happenin in the sentence since the mos importunt part of the verb wuz held till the las.

i wuz kindly hopin the refernts to mark twains essay wood make her happy, but i dint hardly git to whar the verb wooda been ifn ida been talkin german befor she wuz crine. i tole her thangs wuz hard here n that mos everthang wuz closed on a counta it bein august, witch even tho she wuz a german historian, nobidy hadnt never mentchuned to her how the germans takes august fer thar vacayshun.

that made her cry all over agin, but i paid my 50 pfennings to pee n ducked into a stall whar i stole her sum toilet paper so she could blow her nose. then i loded up her thangs on one of them carts n gut her to the train so we could git to the hauptbahnhof in frankfurt. she couldnt know how minny miss takes i hepped her to miss makin on a counta i had dun made so minny. fer instunts, i dint bother takin nuthin we dint need to the house of youngns. i wuz sprized how she had brung a tv n a converter with her, but i dint say nuthin. twuz a differnts twixt us, how she lacked to watch tv n i dint much care fer it.

innywho, thay wuz more tears reddy to fall whenever we checked in at the house of youngns n she larnt we woodnt be able to shar the same room n that we wood be plunkin down dm10,10 fer each of is ever nite, witch in germany they use commas whar we wood use periods whenever thar ritin down thar prices fer thangs n sted of usin a dollar sign, since they aint gut no sign fer thar money, they half to put 'dm' fer doytch mark ever time. bout the time she gut her eyes dry n sed she wonted to take a shower, i tole her she wood half to wait till they allowed em agin, witch ye couldnt git one past 10 am n had to wait till 4 pm fer em to open agin. that wuz hard a nuff, but when she noticed i wuz buyin a exter token sos she could git her one today on a counta the free token wuznt good till nex day, them tears cum out agin.

she gut herself up into her room on a floor that wuz fer women only n then we tuck a walk sos we could start lookin fer a place. corse our luck wuznt no better than mine had been, n purty soon we wuz sittin on a bench on the sachsenhausen side of the main river with her in my lap a crine her eyes out n wipin em on my collar. thay wuznt nuthin ye could say till one of my laigs fell asleep n then i sed i needed to walk a bit. sides, we wuz almos late fer lunch, witch they give ye three meals at that house of youngns ifn yer thar fer em, witch mos folks skips lunch.

they wuz servin sumthin we hadnt never had befor, witch twuz sumthin called 'linse suppe' n bread n apple juice. twuz almost impossibull to eat n we wunderd whut twuz. i had my langensheits dickshunerry with me n looked it up, but it dint tell us much on a counta we hadnt never herd of lentils befor. we et all we could stand n filled up on bread n butter n apple juice.

then we had a lil bit of good luck. try as she mite, n mayhap she had dun give up trine, emily couldnt stop crine n that gut the tenchun of a fella name of helmut frum bayern, witch thats the real name of bavaria. he wuz a true gentleman n the furst german we had met who dint insist on speakin english with us. he had to add mitt how he dint ever larn english on a counta he wuz a german n dint wonta go to no amurka nor england neethur. he could speak him a smatterin of french n italian n dutch n english, but jes whut he called 'taxi sprache,' witch that means taxi langwage n taxi wuz one of the bonus wurds ye git in german thats the same in bof langwages. he splained a lot bout how thangs wurked n showed us whar we should be lookin in the papers fer folks advertisin thar apartmints. he splained how thay aint no reason to go to no immobilienmacher till yer had dun found yer place. turnt out to be a verr useful bit of info.

then he dun sumthin i aint never fergot on a counta how twuz one of them deeds of kindness ye dont see that much. he tuck us out fer a real dinner, sumthin he sed wood be 'typisch deutsch,' witch thats pronounced toopish doytch n means typical german. we had sum kinda noodles with meat n fried tater pancakes n salad n bread n a bottle of wine he insisted on buyin. whenever he gut to orderin deesert, we tole him all along we couldnt afford no such meal, but he woodnt here nuthin we sed bout it. we ast fer his address sos we could pay him back whenever we gut a lil money, but he sed he woodnt take no money. he ast us to member how he had hepped us n mayhap sumday we could hep sumbidy jes lack he had dun. he wood cunsidder that payback. nex day he wuz gone befor we gut up.

that day wuz a wasted one, but we cummenced a'usin helmuts method n the day after that, witch twuz fridy, we foun a place on ginnheimerstrasse, witch strasse is a street n ginnheimer is the name of thatn. they wuz a fella livin thar frum iran name of gomez on a counta how his daddy had moved to iran frum argentina. he wuz rite nice n tole us we mite could have the apartmint only since twuz so small, witch twuz 10 feet by 10 feet with a tiny lil bath n whut they calls a 'kuhlschrank' that wuz combinayshun frigerator, sink n a cuple hot plates that tuck up a bit of one corner, thay mite be a problem. turnt out thay wuz a rule bout how only one person could live thar, but he sed he wood hold it open till tuesdy to give us a chance to go by the immobilienmacher n see if thay wuz innyway to git the rule bent a lil.

we spent the weekend trine to be happy n see sum sites, but i cant member doin nuthin but wurry bout whuther we wuz a'gone be able to git that apartmint. finely mundy cum n we went to the immobilienmacher. twuz as humillyatin a eggsperients as i ever had, but when we showed the man how we had cash money n wuz reddy to give it n to sine a piece of paper bout how we wuz happy to live thar, he let us have it. corse, he tuck dm720 frum us fer kaution or security deposit, n that dint leave us much.

but we dint cumplain. in sted, we set out walkin cross the city till we gut to ginnheimerstrasse n rang the bell fer herr gomez. he let us in n tole us he had held it n we could move in the nex day. he innerduced us to frau seykova, witch she wuz the woman who tuck care of the buildin. she cum frum hungary n she dint hardly bleeve two folk wuz wontin to live in such a tiny space, but whenever we insisted, she ast whar wood we sleep? we dint have no anser, but herr gomez cum to the rescue, splainin how he wuz a'gone leeve the couch he wuz usin fer us to sleep on. turnt out that couch wuz really jes two flat piece of foam rubber bound up in a ugly orange n red cloth n ye could spread it out to make a bed that wood take up mos of the room.

finely frau seykova wuz satisfide that the crazy amurkins wonted the place n she give it her blessin. after she lef, we shuck hands with herr gomez n tole him how nice he had been. we ast him why he had dun it on a counta he coulda gut sumbidy else to rent the place in sted of waitin fer us. he laffed n sed we wood unnerstand soon a nuff.

we ast whut he mint, n he sed sumthin that meant he wuz also a forner: ich bin auch aus.