Sunday, September 07, 2003

life of buddy don, chaptur 50:
offer to pay fer the docter

twuz a verr hard time of my life. thays all kinda awful images jumpin up in my brain to claim theys wurst of all of em.

thay wuz the nex mornin after the furst nite when we had been doin the deed everwhar n she ast did i wonta doot agin n i sed i dint know ifn i could n she touched me n sed thangs bout the nite befor n give me a lil kiss till i sed ok n i then i felt whar she wuz wet n she hollered ouch n ast wuz i crazy n did i really thank we should doot agin?

n thay wuz the time gretchen cooked n everbidy cum over n trudy rode with a ole boyfrien name of scar n turnt out i had met him whenever i wuz datin carmine mcmichaels n i wundered did mj know he wuz a x con but i dint say nuthin. n he memberd me n wonted to know had i thought over heppin him rite his story sos folks wood know bout how he had been railroded into brushy mountin n i sed i dint have time to doot proper justus. n he laffed n sat down to the table n tuck out a lil gun frum his pants n set it nex to his plate n everbidy could see he wuz a'gone make me fine the time or agree to doot. n then mj gits the gun n sez could mr scar put it in his car or did he wont her to put it in the toilet n sumthin bout the way she sed it made him take it to his car. n while he wuz out, here cum trudy to set on my lap.

n thay wuz the time she cum over to ast me wood i 'make luv to her' only all she really wonted wuz to git hi but she had to git me all wurked up furst n then say she couldnt on a counta she had honeymoon rash or sumthin n she patted me down thar as if twere her lil pet n twuz rite in frunt of mj.

thay wuz the time the hole farm, witch we refurrd to everbidy that wuz a livin on the farm as 'the hole farm,' the time the hole farm n a corse trudy who i wuz thankin shoulda called herself abby frum the beginnin, but that wuz jes my shameful way of trine to blame sumbidy else fer gettin me cawt in such a situwayshun, the time the hole farm n trudy wint over to swim in the oak ridge munispul swimmin pool.

virgil n me, we wuz on the side opposit frum the divin bored, as far away frum the gurls as we could git, trine to make sense of whut had dun happent. n thang wuz, even tho the two of us had a hole friendship made outta almos nuthin but talkin bout thangs, we couldnt neethur one of us cum up with a wurd to say. so in sted, we watched trudy climb up on the divin bored n git scairt n look round till she saw me n wave n then holler out fer hep n i pertended lack i wuznt watchin n virgil ast me did i have inny idee whut i had dun n i sed i dint n i dint know whut i wuz a gone do but i reckont id have to marr trudy abigail schuler. n i lookt n saw trudy a jumpin into the water feet furst as awkward as ye kin do n i jumped up to hep her, n even tho he dint mean to let it out, thar cum a big laff frum virgils mouth that wuz the truest thang ye could say.

or the time eli cum over n sed i wood half to marr trudy now n twuz proof that sum folks mite try to open thar doors of persepshun with drugs n the path of excess but twuz much more lackly they wuz a'gone git entangled in sum materyull trap n that wuz jes whut i had dun, n i truly wonted to slap him on a counta he's the one tole marty bout the path to excess n he wuz the one tole everbidy that lsd n pot n so furth wood git ye to see spirtchul thangs n he cum back with a splainashun that he hadnt never sed nuthin bout no dust n i had to agree, n twuz rite painful to add mitt.

or the afternoon i cum home n thar wuz mj a'waitin in the livin room of the big house. brew wuz wurkin daze n i ast whar wuz jill, n mj sed she wood splain direckly. so thar wernt nobidy thar but the two of us.

i knew twuz truble. i figgerd she wuz a'gone ast fer a council to discuss whuther the farm could take a new member or sumthin lack that, n i wuz reddy to say i had rites n all, witch that shows jes how dum ye kin be whenever ye thank ye jes gut to win the argumint cawz ifn ye thank bout it, i dint wonta marr trudy atall n why wood i be fitin to proov i had the rite?

mj had rolled a joint n soons i hollered out knock knock n cum in, witch thats whut everbidy dun whenever they cum to eethur house on a counta thar bein no locks on the doors, she ast me did i wonta hep her burn it, n i sed shore lack twuz the bes thang that coulda dun happenet to me. i dint say nuthin after she lit it, but i wuz goin over whut i thought her argumint wuz a'gone be on a counta i wonted to make sure i could beat it. n since she dint say nuthin, i figgerd she wuz doon the same thang, only she kep watchin me lack she wuz about to start laffin.

now mj wuz a odd colleckshun of puzzles to say the lease. fer one thang, she dint look lack her yunger bruthers n sisters. thay wuz kindly red faced with no eyebrows n kindly a mix tween red n blond, but mj wuz black hedded n black eyed n she had a kindly beak nose n a space twixt her frunt teeth. but she had a way bout her that made her rite purty at times n other ways bout her that made her seem lack a witch, witch i mean the kinda witches ye see in cartoons on tv or on halloween n not the kind lack gail or erin. n she could be a worl class bitch or yer bes friend. n she had her the kinda body lots of men lacks, witch i mean she had big breasts n never wore no bra, but thar wuz a cynicull way bout her that made it so nobidy could hardly magine sex with her.

n lord how she could stare ye down with them black eyes. seem lack she dint need to blank. finely i couldnt take it no more so i ast her whut wuz her problem n then she did laff. n she splained how't seemed lack i wuz the one havin problems. i allowed she had a point n then sed i knew she dint cum down jes to git hi n she sed twuz rite.

so i waited fer her to say sumthin n when she jes kep starin, i ast did she wonta here sum musick. n she sed no n then she sed, 'why dont we take a walk round the property, mr duncan,' witch she almos always called me by 'mr duncan.' so we walked down the rode, past the fire place and on to the old home place n then down into the holler to the place we wuz a'gone dig up the sprang the nex year n she sed why dint we stop to talk thar, so thats whut we dun.

n she had her a nuther joint, so we lit it n she cummenced to astin me bout witches. i wuz sprized n tole her i dint know whut she wuz a'talkin bout n she sed she thought i mite n i ast her how, on a counta i dint tell nobidy, not even virgil, bout the weerd stuff happent with gail n i dint even know fer sartin bout erin my ownself at the time.

but she could see whar she had struck a nerve n she sed twuz jes lack she thought n i ast how that wood be n she sed thats whut she wuz a'comin to only she needed to here bout mine furst. i ast her whut did she thank mine wuz n she sed wernt it sumthin with trudy a'gettin pregnunt? n seemed lack she knew more bout it than i did, so i figgered i wood tell bout gail in x change fer whutever she had, but twuz no bargin.

she listned quite a nuff to all i had to say n then ast had she seen her n i sed i dint thank so. then she tole me everthang she wuz bout to tell had to be kep secret even frum virgil or ackshly frum virgil mos of all. i tole her i wood do my bes but that i dint know could i doot on a counta he wuz my bes friend n she sed she reckoned id wonta keep it secret whenever i had dun herd it n if i jes had to tell him, then mayhap that wuz how twuz spozed to go n i sed she sounded lack a presbyteryun fer a joke n she sed i shouldnt be playin with my fate.

n she wuz so seriyas till it seemed lack i had dun sumthin rong. twuz one of them sunny days with lots of clouds blowin by n rite then one of them clouds covered the sun n put everthang in the shade n i wonted to joke twuz a nice affeck but she wuz a given me that stare so i shut up n listned to her tale. turnt out the woman i tuck fer her mama in californy wuznt her mama atall n fack wuz her daddy had dun been marrd twicet n the furst wife wuz a witch.

hearin the wurd witch wuz lack bein jabbed in the belly n she had my full tenchun. her mama wuz a woman name of dorinda lewis n she wuz daughter of a cherokee injun only she hadnt never met her on a counta she died given birth n her daddy had marrd a woman frum anderson county n moved the fambly frum townsend to lake city back when twuz called cole creek.

her mama grew up knowin she wuz differnt only her daddy never tole her bout how her mama wuz a cherokee n she wuz always innerested in herbs n healin n makin medcin n such lack. she gut to whar she could sell stuff to a ole lady name of miz myrtle birch who wood tell dorinda whut she should look fer. n then whenever she wuz thirteen, she tuck to studyin witchcraft with miz myrtle birch on a counta she miz myrtle birch tole her she wuz a witch n dorinda wonted to learn everthang she could bout the subjeck.

i sed i could unnerstand how she felt on a counta i wuz a'gettin rite curyas my ownself, but mj looked at me lack i wuz interruptin.

so she went on, splainin verr lil bout whut they had studied but skpped over to whar her mama tuck a job out at one of the plants rite after they let women in to wurk n that's whar she met joe bob tanner, witch ye mite member he wuz her daddy, n job bob n her mama fell in luv or at lease gut in truble a nuff to marr.

mj wuz born n they kep a'wurkin out at the plant. n mj's mama tuck a noshun that her daddy wuz seein a nuther woman n she tole him to quit or the woman wood die n he sed he dint know whut she wuz talkin bout n she sed she wood see about that. n corse, the woman come up ded of suicide by drownin, or so they sed, n that gut her daddy wurried. he tole her she could keep the house but he wuz movin n takin mj with him.

mj stopped n splained how she wuz ten by then n hated her mama n her mama hated her till neethur one made any fuss over her daddy takin her. n he moved to wartburg n remarrd to a woman he had been seein n they started havin kids n thats how he cum to know uncle buster n then daddy n us.

n gretchen continued splainin that thangs wuz fine till mr joe bob tanner run into his x wife dorinda at the co-op in clinton, witch dorinda wuz only goin thar on a counta she needed sumthin for her herb garden. n joe bob wuz only thar on a counta he wuz a wontin to buy a back hole. n they gut to fussin n fitin bout as quick as they recognized each other n she threatened to do sumthin to mj n he cum home n sed he wuz movin mj n the fambly to californy n thats how cum they wuz thar thar whenever i cum along.

tuck me a few mints fer thangs to start fallin into place n then the questchuns cum out of my mouth so twuz as if i wuz listnin to em rite along with mj.

'so whars yer dorinda now?' n mj splained how she still lives in lake city.

'so why ye a'tellin me all this now?' n mj splained how she had gut a call frum her n then gone fer a visit.

'n thats whar jill is?' n mj splained how she tuck jill to see her n turnt out dorinda wuz unable to keep the feud a'goin n mj felt purty much the same way.

'so why ye a'tellin me all this atall?' n mj splained how her mama had tole her to ast did i need hep with them witches n then mj ast me did i. n i lafft n sed i dint reckon i did on a counta twuz jes superstishus nonsense. n mj sed thats whut she tole her mama i wood say, n with that, she gut up n picked up the trail round the boundry n we dint say nuthin the rest of the way back.

n who should be thar sittin in the livin room a'waitin to talk to me but gail frost her verr own self. i innerduced em n mj lafft n sed she wood see me later n out she went.

n thar wuz gail, wearin a long black skirt n a top that ye could see wuz barly held together by sum strang n seem lack the knots had dun cum a'loose n twuz damn distracktin. n she gut up n cum over to put her arms round me n she dun it so smooth n natchrul that i dint thank to stop her till i could feel how easy twood be to let myself give her a lil kiss only i tride to pull back n she tuck my lef hand n kissd my fangers n sum kinda way she gut em tangled in the strangs n when i kep a pullin thangs cum undun till i had to turn away.

n she ast me why i wuz afraid of her n i tole her i wuznt n she ast why did i turn away n i sed on a counta twernt rite fer me to be thankin the thoughts i wuz thankin n she ast whut thoughts n i dint wonta say that she wuz a witch n seemed to be a lil crazier my bruther eli on his wurst day so in sted i turnt in held my hands out to indicate her current state of undress n sed twernt rite, but even as i wuz sayin it, she stepped forward n tuck my hands in hers n put em whar they wuz a wontin to go. n mayhap they wuz feelin thar way around n she wuz a sighin n then up on her tippy toes to kiss me agin but i finely put my hands on her shoulders n ast her please to have mercy on me.

n she ast whut could i mean, only she wuz a'thankin twuz part of the dance that wood lead us into bed, but i sed i dint thank we wuz spozed to be together n that i dint feel the luv fer her ye need to be feelin ifn yer a'gone be doin thangs lack that n she laffed n sed she wernt sprized on a counta i had dun the same thang in the previous life whar i wuz scairt on a counta her namesake a'gittin pregnunt. n she sed she had herd i wuz purty free n easy n takin add vantage of the sexshul revolushun n i sed i wuz a'trine to change.

corse, i dint tell her why n dint feel lack thar wuz inny reason to, so twuz quite a shock whenever she ast me wuz i a'gone marr tuther abby. i dint say nuthin fer a lil while till she sed sumthin lack i mite druther call her trudy. then she sed she wood see me when the time wuz rite n she lef.

i set a mint n wunderd bout everthang that wuz a'gone on. then she commenced a blowin the horn on her car, so i went out n went over by the drivers side. she had the winder down n sed wuz i wurried bout trudy bein pregnunt, n i ast how did she know that. did she know trudy? n she sed she not in this life n that made me mad. i tole her i dint bleev in nun of that mumbo jumbo bout previous lives n the hole time she wuz laffin n sayin i woodnt never change n mayhap thats how i cum to have so much power.

'but ye dont have to wurry nun bout me. we wuz together then n we'll be together agin.' n she wuz so sincere till i could see she really bleeved this stuff n i wuz a lil sorry fer her. but she dint know it n kep actin lack she wuz the one feelin sorry fer me. she sed i could kiss her n i sed i could. n she sed twood be nice to take a nap together, woodnt it, n i sed twood, only dint thank twuz the rite thang.

then she sed i dint need to wurry bout trudy n that i shouldnt marr her no way no how. n i ast her why, n she sed, 'she's havin a false pregnuncy. she dun the same thang in 1748. dont fall fer it this time.' i dint say nuthin but jes wundered how i could git her to go. then she sed, 'i know ye dont bleev me now. but ast her to go to the doctor. offer to pay. tell her yer only thankin bout the good of yer chile.' n with that, she gunned the motor n i moved aside n she wuz gone.

twuz late fer me by then, near 3:30 in the afternoon, so i went into my bedroom n wuz jes under the covers when i herd mj hollerin knock knock, n then she wuz doin the same at my bedroom door. i ast her to cum in, as if twere necessary, n she did n sat on the bed.

'well, mr duncan.' n i ast her whut did she wont n splained how i needed to sleep n she sed twuz a wunder i could. so i ast whut wuz she thar fer, n she sed her mama had passed long a lil advice n i ast whut that mite be n she sed it dint make no sense to her. then she sed her mama tole her that i should consider offerin to pay fer the docter.

n she could see it give me a chill n ast whut did it mean n then she gut to guessin bout it being sumthin to do with trudy bein pregnunt but i ast wood she please let me be sos i could sleep?

corse, even when she wuz gone, i couldnt sleep a wink so long bout 4:30 i gut up n callt trudy. she wuz sleepin too but she sounded rite glad i had called n she even sed why didnt i cum over n i sed i had been thankin bout how she oughta git herself to see a docter.

n she ast why n i sed i wood pay fer't n she gut to crine n i felt bad n sed 'dont cry' n that made her cry more. then she hung up.

i dint here nuthin fer the next couple of weeks. dint see trudy. dint even see brew n gretchen on a counta our schedules wuz off n he wuz campin durin the weekend.

then virgil cum over n sed he guessed i wuz glad to have dodged the bullet n i ast whut he mint n he sed hadnt i herd? trudy turnt out to be havin a false pregnuncy. n i sed twuz lucky in deed n he ast did i have inny ezra to drank n shouldnt we cellbrate n i sed shure n we did, but all i could thank bout wuz whut the witch name of gail had sed.

n nex chants i gut, i called gails number, but twuz disconnected, so i drove over by her place n rung the doorbell. a young gurl cum n stared up at me through the screen door. she looked to be maybe sixteen or seventeen, but her belly wuz swole to burstin n thar wuz a baby crine in the background. i ast bout gail innyway, but the young lady sed she dint know her nor whar she had moved neethur one.

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