Thursday, April 01, 2004

maginayshun of buddy don:
whut if?


much of whut we been a'doin in the worl is based on speckulayshun n the condishunul statement. in other wurds, we wurry bout whut ifs:



  • whut if saddam wuz allowd to keep his weppons of mass destruckshun?
  • whut if he wuz to git together with al qaeda to attack us?
  • whut if saddam ackshly had had weppons of mass destruckshun?
  • whut if saddam ackshly had had a allyants with al qaeda?
  • whut if north korea could shoot a missle with a nukular bomb on it far a nuff to hit the usa?
  • whut if missle defents really wurked?

i reckon ye kin cum up with yer own 'whut ifs' n ifn ye caint, jes do a google search on sumthin lack 'bush justification for iraq war' or 'condi rice' or 'donald rumsfeld' or 'dick cheney' n yer bound to find plenty of 'whut ifs' that we couldnt dare let turn into mushroom clouded smokin guns.


so ifn ye wood allow me, id lack to put up a whut if my ownself ceptn tiz more of a 'wooda, coulda shoulda' kinda thang, witch thems losers wurds (fer instunts, back in 1996, sum vol fans mite coulda been sayin, 'we wooda won n coulda won n shoulda won ifn only that memphis fella had been calld down when his knee hit the ground'). i reckon tiz fittin to be usin losers wurds on a counta almos inny way ye mayshur it, we is lackly to be usin lots of losers wurds ifn thangs dont start gittin better.


so, feelin lack a real loser, id lack to spin this here 'whut if?'


cast yer memry back to late 2001 n early 2002 in afghanistan.


whut if we had put all our effurt into puttin that cuntry back together? whut if we had dedictaed the $170 billyuns to fixin that cuntry in sted of spendin it on brakin iraq? whut if we had put 100,000 troops in afghanistan n kep em thar till we had run down osama, ded or alive? whut if we had tole pakistan that they wuz eethur with us or agin us n ifn they kep on givin folks lack them talibans n al qaeda places to hide, then we wood let our army cross thar border?


whut if we had caught osama bin laden n mullah omar n put em on trial in publick? whut if we had larnt untold secrets bout thar organizayshuns sos we could really brang em to a end? whut if we had eggsposed em to the worl fer the losers they really is? whut if we hadnt made em into martyrs even befor thar ded? whut if we had tuck away thar claim to be standin up to amurka on a counta how they wuznt able to?


whut if we had shut down the easy movement of money round the worl in secret accounts? whut if we had been real serious bout stoppin money frum gittin launderd n then used to pay fer terrst attacks?


whut if we had used all that money we spent on the destruckshun of iraq fer the bildin of afghanistan? whut if we had hepped them afghans bild a real securty force, sumthin to replace the warlords or at lease to brang em into the gummint in a coopertiv manner? whut if we had built skools n roads n brung in tracters n hay balers n everthang a farmer mite need to make a livin offa sumthin that aint a poppy? whut if we had put all our effurt on gettin democracy eggzackly rite in jes one place, one remote difficult place, a place the worl has calld god foresaken but whar faith wuz still a'livin, a place that everbidy had jes ignord till it could grow up groups lack al qaeda or them talibans? whut if we had made it the beacon of freedum n democracy in the muslim worl?


whut if the evenin news wuz filld with pitchers of afghan children gittin diplomas? n afghan factries gittin bilt? n afghan commerce cummin back? whut if we wuz seein 'made in afghanistan' on lots of thangs we buy at walmart? whut if them leaders of afghanistan hosted the league of arab states, jes fer the fun of it, even tho they aint arabs perzackly?


whut if we had hepped em bild a secure pipeline rite down the middle of thar safe n secure cuntry, brangin oil frum uzbekistan n/or the caspian sea n/or turkmenistan n/or wharever tiz up in thar down to pakistan n then to the arabian sea? whut if once that oil gut to flowin, we sed to them saudis (aint they amung the real state sponsors of terrism?) n iraqis n who knows who that they could take thar oil across the street to sell, lessn they wonted to lower thar prices?


whut if the worl wuz seein whut we dun n sayin how twuz a good thang? whut if the worl wuz talkin bout how them amurkins is the bes folks aroun, how that thar george w bush is a grate man thats gonna be memberd ferever as a true friend of justus n freedum? whut if other cuntries wuz beggin fer thar chants to git on the good side of the usa?


whut if amurka wuz sayin to the res of the worl, git rid of yer terrists n mayhap ye git a visit frum us?


whut if folks wonted to git a visit frum us?


whut if we had attackd hate with luv? whut if we ackshly bleevd lots of that new testament stuff bout returnin evil with good n hatred with luv?


whut if thay wuz fewer terrsts everday on a counta how folks wonted to bild good thangs in sted of bombin em?


whut if ...


whut if ...


whut if ...


 


thankee fer yer indulgents.


now: back to reality, already in progress.

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