Wednesday, March 31, 2004

pinions of buddy don:
march agin tragedy, war on terror, globalizayshun of everthang


a few years back, whenever princess diana gut killd in that car acksident, miz bd pickd up a flyer over in man hattan frum sumbidy trine to organ eyes a march agin tragedy. we wunderd could it be a joke of sum kind, but ifn twuz, it dint give nun of the clues ye eggspeck. fack is, the fella wuz serious. he figgerd we had let tragedy push us around fer too long n we had to let it know we wuznt a'gone take it no more.


he listed instuntses of how tragedy had dun attackd. corse, thar wuz princess diana gittin killd. then thar wuz a mudslide over in colombia. starvayshun in afrikie. genocide in ruwanda. n albania. n serbia. n palestine. i wishd i had saved it on a counta i dont member all the tragedy this fella wonted everbidy to march agin.


innywho, i dont speck that innybidy readin this thanks ye kin do much by marchin agin tragedy. march all ye wonta, but acksidents is gonna happen, mud is gonna slide, earthquakes is a'gone shake thangs up n kill folks, hurrcanes is gonna blow, n ifn ye dont know no better, all of em wood be proof of how tragedy is takin over n attackin at will.


this mornin i noticed whar terror is makin its presents felt: (1) eight arrested in british terror raids, (2) terror in uzbekistan, (3) terror arrests in phillippines, (4) colombia: media ignores death squad terror campane, (5) and the next stage in the war on terror: indonesia. ifn ye search around a lil, ye kin find plenty more.


as most innybidy figgers out by the time they kin walk, thays a heap of thangs ye caint control. fer instunts, ye mite wont a sunny day fer a picknick, but ye caint cuntrol the weather. ifn ye ever had kids, then ye know ye caint even cuntrol a child that ye razed yer ownself frum the day twuz born.


tragedy is one of them thangs ye caint cuntrol. but wait, thars more.


durin the fussin n fitin a'goin on bout offshorin n outsourcin of jobs, folks lacks to act lack tiz sumthin they could cuntrol. mayhap they kin have a lil influents, but since we bleev in the profit motiv above all, then thay aint no way to stop it. inny person goin into bizness wood be a fool to pay $10 fer sumthin they could git fer $1. one thang is fer sartin, capitullism dont repeck no borders, dont practiss no patriotism. tiz a simple math questchun:



profit = (price ye put on yer goods) minus (the cost of makin em)


razin yer profit is thonly motive that matters, witch that means innythang that kin hep ye lower the cost of makin thangs -- whuther tiz avoidin payin taxes or movin jobs to the injun subcontinent or skimpin on safety measures or eggscapin frum regulayshun by gummints that wonta keep ye frum ruinin the common thangs lack the air we all breathe or the water we drank -- innythang that reduces that cost of making thangs is fair game. ifn ye kin doot well, yer gonna git noticed n prazed.


point is, ye caint stop it, so ye gut to thank how kin ye live with it? is thar sum kinda way to graft a moral order on a eckonomick practiss lack capitullism? are ye gonna git folks to thankin that it mite be better to pay a wurker (also a perspecktiv customer) over here $10 in sted of payin a wurker (who wont be no perspecktiv customer) over thar $1? ye wont cunvints em by makin laws on a counta nex thang ye know, ye gut ye a trade war a'goin on, witch twood be a hop skip n a jump frum thar to a worlwide deepreshun.


point is, ye half to attack the problem whar tiz -- in that equayshun above n the absolute bleef that profit is the only criterion on witch everthang else kin be judged. ifn ye caint git folks to bleev nuthin else, then ye shouldnt cumplain bout yer jobs disappearin. thar jes follerin the money.


so tiz with terror, witch moren innythang else, tiz jes a idee. taint lack a perscripshun drug that one cumpny gits the patent on n kin charge whutever it wonts n caint nobidy else make it. tiz sumthin that ever skool child kin larn bout by the age of bout 10 or 12. thanks to our new ability to global eyes most innythang, the idee of terror is gittin roun to everwhar n mos everbidy.


thays sum that thanks ye kin attack a idee usin a army. ifn twere so, we woodnt be havin so much truble beatin it. we dun showed the worl that ifn thars inny cuntry out thar that wonts to take us on, they aint gut a chants. we gut the force to git inny cuntry to surrender or be wiped out.


but terrsts aint cuntries. they kin use cuntries, but they dont need em. they dun proovd how they kin operate in cuntries, lack ireland n spain n israel, whar the gummint hates em n duz everthang possibull to wipe em out. but no matter how much force ye brang to the problem, it dont go away long as the idee lives.


thats cawz ye caint kill a idee with a bullet. ye caint kill it with a smart bomb. ye caint kill it with a cruise missle. ye caint kill it with a nukular weppon. ye caint kill it with inny weppon, even ifn twuz one that kin pull off mass deestruckshun.


as the romans dun provd with the early christchuns, ye jes caint kill idees with force. lions eat folks, but idees live on. ye kin kill the messenger, but the message lives on n sumtimes gits a boost frum folks that makes the killt messenger into a martyr.


fack is, n aint nobidy lacks this on a counta how tiz hard to do, ye kin only attack a idee usin better idees. ifn ye cunvints mos folks that yer a force fer good, aint minny thats gonna wonta attack ye. if ye kin cunvints a nuff folks that terrsts aint nuthin but criminulls, then purty soon, lots of the folks that heps em n hides em now wont be be willin to doot no more.


twood be nice ifn ever terrst had a state sponser, witch thats the way mr bush wonts to fite terrism. ye caint hardly blame him. ifn ye gut the worls biggest army, ifn yer spendin more on yer miltary than the nex 21 cuntries cumbined is spendin, then ye wood kinly lack to use that weppon agin yer enemies. ifn ye gut a state thats sponserin terrsts n terrism, lack them talibans wuz doin in afghanistan, then ye gut a battle yer reddy to fite.


ifn ye could point to a state sponser of ever terrst, then ye could put up a list of cuntries sponern terrism on the innernet n tell em all they gut till high noon to change thar ways or face incumin marines.


but whenever yer fitin a idee, ye aint gut no state that kin surrender fer it. ye kin kill as minny terrsts as ye kin round up, but ifn ye dont kill the idee, yer jes plantin futchur terrsts whenever ye bury em.


tiz a miss take to thank thays jes one organizayshun lack al qaeda doin all the terrism on a counta they dont have the patent on it n it kin be used by innybidy that thanks twill wurk.


the idee kin infeck all kinds of folk: christchuns (cathlick vs. protestunt), muslims, drug cartels, basque separtists, palestinians, white aryan nayshun types, yew name it.


ifn i knew the best way to attack terrism, i wood rite it down n send it in a letter to mr bush, but i dont. i do have a few idees bout how we mite larn to fite the idee, so here they are:




  1. ye gut to larn to put yerself in thar place n wunder whut could git em to the point of wontin to attack.


  2. ye gut to wunder bout folk that wood be proud of thar children givin up thar lives to kill thar verr self in suicide attacks: ifn ye really wonta beat the idee name of terrism, then ye gut to figger thisn out.


  3. ye gut to be willin to look at gittin the beam outta yer own eye sos ye kin see clear to take out the speck frum otherns eyes, witch that means ...


  4. Ye caint settle fer simplistick splainayshuns bout whut motivates them terrsts lack claimin they hate us cawz we gut freedum or they wuz born pure evil, witch the bible sez all folks has fallen short of the glory of god n all folks is in a state of evil needin fergivness on a counta inherted sin, witch the point is, all of us is imperfeck.


  5. ye gut to larn bout the cultchur that wood create so minny folks thats willin to do evil to ye.


  6. ye gut to look at whar ye mite be open to attack, whar ye could be hurt mos, n perteck it, even ifn it means razin taxes on a counta whut good does it do a man to half the hole wide worl back in taxes ifn hes bombed to death by a terrst?


  7. ye gut to do yer bes not to give terrsts new reasons to hate ye, witch is why so minny folks wuz upset bout attackin iraq, witch whut osama bin laden sed he wonted wuz fer a western christchun power to attack a weak muslim cuntry on a counta how twood hep him spread his idee of terror n git new recruits to hep him use it.


  8. mos of all, ye gut to ackcept the fack that bombin cuntries n innocent folk (even by acksident) aint no way to stop terrst frum bombin. lease, taint wurkd yet.

fack is, havin a war on a idee, even a idee calld terrism, is a lot lack havin a march agin tragedy, speshly if thonly idee ye gut is to fite terrsts with yer army.

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