Friday, May 21, 2004

man hattan nite life of buddy don: sangle malt tastin at keens

ye mite member how me n miz bd wuz a'gone join our irish friend n his english wife fer a sangle malt tastin down at a place name of keens steakhouse, witch tiz also known as keens chophouse. fer them that lacks to eat meat, they gut a bunch of it. ye kin read a reviews ifn ye lack: here n here n here.

innywho, last nite wuz finely the nite. twuz to begin at seven pm n we wuz rite on time. tiz a class place n we wuz in a private room upstairs. theonly purpose fer our bein thar wuz to taste n larn bout sangle malt scotchs. we wuz to be tastin a total of twelve of em n to make shore we gut a proper unnerstandin of whut we wuz a'doin, a feller name of F. Paul Pacult to splain thangs n make us laff n keep us frum a drankin too fast.

heres a pitcher of his book name of american still life:

whenever we arrived we all had to stand round nibblin on cheese n crackers n whutnot a'waitin to be let in. purt soon they opened up the curtain on a lil room in the back n in we went, witch whut we saw then wuz a room full of tables filled with glasses of sangle malt scotch. heres a idee whut it looked lack even tho the pitcher wuz tuck after everthang wuz over:

heres ye a lil closer look:

they wuz eleven of them glasses in each place n each glass had a lil number nex toot. heres the lineup we wuz a gone git to taste:

1. mystry malt whisky #1, 40% AbV, $55
2. glenmorangie 18 years old northern highland malt whisky, scotland, 43% AbV, $100
3. glenfarclas 17 year old speyside malt whisky, 43% AbV $80
4. flenfiddich ancient reserve 18 year old speyside malt whisky, scotland, 43% AbV $70
5. glenlivet 18 year old speyside malt whisky, Scotland, 43% AbV, $60
6. mystry malt whisky #2, 43%, AbV, $65
7. macallan 18 year old speyside malt whisky, scotland, 43% AbV $85
8. highland park 18 year old orkney islands malt whisky, scotland 43% AbV $85
9. bruichladdich 15 year old islay malt whisky, scotland, 46% AbV $70
10. lagavulin 16 year old islay malt whisky, scotland, 43% AbV $60
11. balvenie 15 year old cask strength speyside malt whisky, scotland, 47.8% AbV $60

at the bar 12. aberlour 15 year old speyside malt whisky, scotland, 43% AbV, $46

heres a pitcher of the lineup:

closeups of glenfarclas 17 n glemorangie 18:

closeups of glenfiddich 18 n glenlivet 18:

closeups of macallan 18 n highland park 18:

f. paul pacult gut started by splainin how he gut paid to drank whisky n how folks even lacked to read whutever he had to rite bout the subjeck n twuz clear purty quick he wuz a'tellin the truth on a counta twuz quite a show he put on. he tole us all bout whut a sangle malt is n how tiz made n yew caint hardly hold that much imfermayshun in yer haid all at once, but ill try to splain whut i member.

furst, ifn yer a'fixin to make a sangle malt whisky, ye gut to have yer water n thats one of them thangs that makes them sangle malt whiskys all taste a lil differnt. he splained how on one of that island name of islay the water wuz brown frum the peat, witch he dun been to all them island n distillries n all. each of them distillries has got em a differnt sorce of water, so thats one thang makes em differnt.

then thars the malt, witch he ast did innybidy know whut malt wuz n when dint nobidy offer to splain it, he tole us all bout how to git malt, witch whut ye dun wuz get the barley to germinate sos sum of them starches in it gits to turnin to sugar, witch the third gredient is a'gone need sugar, but befor we git thar, tiz in the makin of malt that ye kin innerduce the taste of peat on a counta they use peat fires to dry the malt.

once the malt gits good n dry, they make mash out of it by mixin it with water n the thurd gredient, witch thats yer yeast n one of the mos mazin thangs bout that is how each of them distillries has thar own yeast thats been a'growin since whenever they dun gut started in the distillry bizness, all the same line, witch tiz a nuther reason aint no two sangle malts that taste jes alack.

once ye gut yer mash seems lack ye git to makin it into a spirit witch the mash is bout 20% alkyhol but yer spirit is generly twixt 68% n 72%, witch twuz a lil sprize to larn that whut they do after they git it lack that is put it into casks, lack as not made of oak, sumtimes after the casks dun been used to age sherry or port or whut not, n everthang i dun menchuned is a nuther one of them reasons why they all taste differnt. later on they add more water real slow sos they kin brang down the alkyhol content to the rite level fer the taste thar after.

he tole us sum facks, witch i rote a cuple down, lack thays 91 sangle malt distillries in scotland, witch me n miz bd dun gut us a long way to go befor we git to taste em all. our irish friend knows me n miz bd has gut us a colleckshun of sangle malts we dun tasted, hut we're savin bout half of each bottle, so he ast wood they stay good after bein opened. f. paul pacult splained that after ye had opend a bottle of sangle malt, ye needed to git it drunk by 3 to 6 munths on a counta by then it could start to go bad. he sed at his house twuz generly all drunk in 48 hours. saddest fack menchuned wuz how 96% of all sangle malt is wasted by bein mixed with uther sangle malts to make blends lack chivas regal n johnny walker n dewar's. he showed us sum barley n a piece of a oak cask n sum peat, witch peat is plants thats dun died n been cumpressed but not quite to the point of becummin coal. turns out thars a almost endless supply over thar in scotland, witch ye could easly bleev god made scotland so the worl could have good whisky.

finely, the tastin begun with a mystry malt. f. paul pacult gut us to sniff at it n try to guess whut twuz. he tole us whoever guessd it would git a bottle fer free, but we couldnt doot on a counta twuz a lil tricky: turnt out to be johnny walker green label pure malt, witch that means tiz a blend of pure sangle malts. corse nobidy guessed twood be a blended malt. reason f. paul pacult had us taste a blend furst wuz sos we could git a idee bout the differnts. sides that, he claims thays sum grate blends n he lacks the one we wuz a drankin rite well. ye caint hardly git thisn in amruka but ye kin find it in duty free shops. he claims its rite good. i caint find a lank toot.

next cum the glenmorangie 18 year old northern highlands malt whisky, witch one of the mane thangs bout glenmorangie is how they use the tallest stills of all them distillries n that makes thar whisky verr smooth. corse it loses sum of that oily smell n kin miss sum of the peatiness. on tuther hand, thisn had a rich cumplex smell n taste, grate finish.

on the opposit end of thangs frum the glenmoranie 18 wuz the macallan 18 year old speyside malt whisky, witch they gut the squatest stills of em all n that means ye git a lil more oily taste. fer me it sniffd smooth n had a great taste that ye lack to keep in yer mouth n a nice warm finish, a perfeck blend. turns out this is the most poplar sangle malt scotch in amurka.

i caint fergit to mentchun how the secunt of them mystry malts dint git guessed neethur on a counta who coulda guessed twood be frum ireland! turnt out to be bushmills 16 triple wood single malt. twuz on the sweet side with the taste of vanilla n butter, sorta malty, smooth n warm a'goin down. f. paul pacult sed his favert everday whisky wuz black bush!

sum other highlights:
1. f. paul pacult claims the glenlivet 18 year old speyside malt whisky is the best speyside scotch. twuz one of the best balanced scotchs we tasted. it gits its name frum the glenlivet river n whenever it furst cum out, it wuz by far the bes till uther folks wonted to call thar whisky glenlivet but thay wuz a lawsuit n now thays only one distillry that owns the name.

2. the peatiest one of the bunch wuz also everbidies favert, witch thatn wuz the lagavulin 16 year old islay malt whisky. me n miz bd picked it fer our favert as well.

3. prizes wuz won: my irish friend, witch he paid fer everthang n ye caint hardly thank im a nuff, he won a bottle of glenfarclas 17 year old speyside malt whisky. his english wife won a bottle of f. paul pacults favert, witch thats highland park 18 year old orkney islands malt whisky n lucky thang wuz how twuz her favert too. bes of all, miz bd won the prize of the nite, wuz the glenmorangie 18 year old northern highlands malt whisky, witch heres a pitcher of her holdin it:

whenever twuz over, everbidy wuz feelin grate n acktin lack they wuz ole friens. i gut a pitcher of f. paul pacult, witch here tiz:

twuz a wonderful evenin n couldnt hardly cum at a better time. me n miz bd had a worl of woe to discuss, so we tuck a cab ride with a greek cab driver who wuz proud bout the olympicks n then the ferry cross to jersey n then we wuz resless, so we tuck us a long walk after midnite long the hudson.

thays magick in them thar sangle malts.

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