wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 77:
the rug party

one of the hardest facks about all i wuz larnin over at utk n frum my private readin is how i gut to a point that couldnt hardly nobidy frum the farm talk to me bout innythang i wuz a studyin n realy innerested in. they wuz still a lil critickull bout collidge n dint thank thar wuz much use in that kinda educayshun, speshly mj. she figgerd twuz useless ifn it dint teach ye how to make sumthin or do sumthin to git money. she called the hole thang a stupid waste of time, a shadow boxin way of life. susannah had dun tole me she dint see the futchur in such studies fer purty much the same reason, but i gut her to cum around purty much. virgil wuz innerested in lots of it, but his strange way of deecidin whut he could know n whut he ackshly did know without observin the outside worl made talkin to him frustratin. eli knew bout the mos, but he had to be in the lead on everthang n hated takin inny new idees frum the lacks of me.

so it gut to whar ifn i wonted to talk bout the thangs that really mint a lot to me, i had to doot with folks i had met at the universty. one of my main friens fer talk (but not much of innythang else) was stephen sorrel, the guy who tuck me down to nashville to see 'the house' that the crowley deeciples lived in. he wuz innerested in everthang bout flossofy n relijun. n thay wuz shahram, who never gut tired of talk bout god n mistysism n all. but thay wuz a lot of uther friens i made.

fer one, twuz the furst time in my life that i made friens with my teechurs. one of the mane ones wuz fred villers, witch hes the one that taught that class in flossofy of literchur. he dint dress or ack lack ye mite speck a collidge perfesser to ack, tho mos of whut i speckted dint turn out to be the case innyway. he dressed lack reglar folk, dint let ye call him docter villers but ast that ye call him fred or even jes fred, witch i used to do fer a joke, rite in class, callin out, 'hey, jes fred!'

thang bout jes fred is he lived in this house out on kingston pike that they called the greenhouse on a counta how it had green trim all over't n kindly looked green when ye furst tuck a glance. twuz a huge house with bout four or five floors n lots of folks a livin thar includin a few other perfessers of flossofy besides jes fred. n thay wood be parties thar n all kinds a thangs happenin. lots of the kids frum the collidge skolars projeck gut to hangin out thar, witch them collidge skolars kids cum in two mane flavors whar sum of em wuz a stratelaced as ye kin git n serious bout everthang they dun n tutherns wuz not strate bout much of innythang. i dint know too many of them frum the furst group, but one or two of em frum the second wood be at the greenhouse mos ever nite.

once i had the playshure of talkin to these kinda folk, it seemed lack i could hardly git a nuff. they woodnt git a look on thar face ifn ye mentchuned sumthin lack hegel n his idees bout thesis n antithesis n synthesis or how that wurked in histry or how ye could study psycholgy frum readin dostoevsky. ifn ye tride the same kinda talk out at the farm, thay wood be these ugly looks faces that sed ye mite as well have jes stepped in sumthin the dog lef in the yard n cum in the house trackin it without wipin yer shoe furst.

so i gut to whar i wood go to thar parties n even sleep thar now n then. n one even when jes fred wuz talkin bout teechin flossofy frum literchur, i sed sumthin bout why dint we have a literchur club to do jes that? n he went fer it. purty soon we had us a thang goin bout once ever two weeks, n thang wuz, even tho we had to read so much fer skool, everbidy lacked the club.

frum that, i gut invited to sum weejee bord events they had goin, witch thatn dint turn out so well. thay wuz this amazingly beeyootiful blond hedded woman name of lisa who run one half of the bord n a fella name of brent who tuck tuthern. brent wus a good five yers youngern me, a lil on the fat side, lazy as could be. he wuz in the collidge skolars program, but far as i could tell, he never went to class. but he give me lots of respeck n luved it when i wood agree to read his tarot cards.

as fer lisa, i used to wonder bout myself whenever it cum to her. she had dun been in a few of my classes. she had inherted a farm over past oliver sprangs on yer way to wartburg. i had gone out a time or two at her invite sos i could show her a cuple of tricks on the peeano. twuz clear she lacked me a lot n i coulda had a date with her n probly a hole lot more. n thang is, she wuz much more beeyootiful than eether susannah or emily. but fer reasons i couldnt make myself unnerstan, i jes wuz never innerested, n that tells me lots bout whut makes folks go, or me at lease.

innywho, i cum to one of them readins on a counta brent figgered the entity they had contacted, a care ackter name of 'nur,' wood really git wild with me thar. lack i say, i had dun a few tarot reedins n that gut them to thankin i had sum kinda power, witch we all know taint so, but brent wuz convintsed.

as it happens, i had run up on the concep of 'nur,' witch twuz a big thang fer the sufis n represented the number 256 n the concep of lite, spirtchul lite, witch that gut me goin long befor the weejee thang on a counta the place the number 256 has in computers. so when i cum to the seance, as they called it, i gut to astin questchuns i knew the ansers to, n that purty much ended it fer me n them on a counta this 'nur' dint even know who he wuz till i tole him, n then he wuz crowin bout it. even jes fred sed twuz ded after that, n he figgerd twuz brent runnin the weejee bord sos he could git closer to lisa, n i had to agree.

tuther place i found folks to talk to bout whut i wuz studyin wuz among the friens that emily had, witch thar wernt but the two of em. one wuz laura bishop, the teecher of german i had who wuz in germny. i had talked to her befor knowin emily n felt lack twuz still a conversayshun on a counta the long letters she n emily wood share.

but tuthern wuz a fella name of ronnie peck, witch i cum to find out he wuz livin with emily whenever she had her fill of men n moved in with laura. he wuz a verr smart guy who could read almos as fast as emily, n he wuz always givin me books to read when i dint thank i had time fer em. he wuz always makin puns n it made emily mad whenever the three of us wuz together on a counta he wuz usin em to attack me, but fer one thang, i almos never gut em. i dint even know he wuz a'doin it till emily gut mad n i gut her to splain why. n then whenever i did git one of em, i wood play rite back.

corse, emily wuz the mane one i wonted to talk to bout thangs, n thar wuznt a topick she couldnt cover. ifn thar wuz sumbidy i wonderd bout, ford maddox ford fer instunts, she wood go to the library n git sum of his books n read em by time we wuz nex a'goin to meet n talk bout thangs. twuz mitey impressive.

innywho, once the nicer weather cum roun in may, we had us a party out at the farm n i invited all my new friens, witch jes fred n shahram n ronnie peck all cum to it. twuz the tipicull kinda party with a keg out by the firespot in the woods n plenty of theevil weed n folks frum everwhar. thay wuz a volunteer band made up of folks that brung thar guitars n such n folks brung food n all. twuz a grate party.

fack is, it gut to be a legend on a counta sumthin that happend bout midway thru. thar cum a sudden sprang rain that drove mos everbidy into the big house. i had that meersham pipe virgil had gut me over in turkey, n i loded it n started jokin bout how i wuz a'gone share 'the truth' with everbidy, but they wood half to git on the rug to git it. so folks gut to gittin on the rug till thar wuz barly inny room to move. n still thay wuz folks, so sum gut to sittin on the laps of tutherns.  we even moved all the furntchur offn the rug sos thard be plenty of room. finely, mos everbidy wuz on thar, even tho sum wuz stacked three levels deep.

then twuz a list of jokes n puns bout whut that rug mint n whuther ye had to be on the rug to git saved or jes to git hi. eli n shahram n ronnie peck led the way in the jokes, but i wuz thonly one standin n exhortin folks n all. n i kep sayin, thay aint nuthin mysterious about it, n shahram n eli n ronnie wood repeat it ever time, nuthin mysterious about it. i cant member how long it went on, but everbidy thought twuz about as much fun as ever theyd had at one of our parties.

but the mane thang that cum frum that wuz how turnt out ronnie peck wuz kindly spyin on me fer emily. seemed lack she wuz jes as innerested in spendin time with me after as befor n she dint mentchun innythang bout the party fer a while. then i ast her whuther ronnie peck had enjoyed the party, n she sed she dint know, but he had give her a report on it. i ast her whut that mint, n she splained how she wuz curious bout how i wuz 'on my own turf.' so i ast her, how wuz i accordin to ronnie peck?

she sed he gut the hole report down to four wurds. four wurds? whut wuz they? 'jesus and his disciples.' i laffed n sed i could see whar he mite git such a crazy idee.

n the idee wuz crazy, but whut i dint larn fer minny a year wuz jes how close to the bone of truth he had dun cut it.