wandering hillbilly

dinner with ole friens of buddy don:
a evenin full of coincidents

las night me n miz buddy don had dinner with sum ole friens of ourn. one of ems a hair dresser who carries the nickname 'the fogger' n tutherns a skulpter name of susan abraham. shes the one that made sum of them skulptchers on the waterfrunt up in yonkers. we been friens ever since i gut marrd to miz bd, witch i been a'knowin the fogger since i met him in 1985 when i cum up to the city but miz bd jes met him on a counta me.

we hadnt seen em fer bout three years ceptn the miz gits her hair cut by the fogger, witch hes a artist lack ye never seen when it cums to hair. we been trine to lure em over to hoboken fer bout a year, but ifn ye know innythang bout folks that lives in manhattan, tiz how they have a low pinion of new jersey, witch they call it jersey n they call the folks that lives here 'b & t people,' witch that means bridge n tunnel people on a counta ye kin git to manhattan real easy using eethur a bridge, witch they gut em ten or so bridges, such as the george washington bridge or the brooklyn bridge or the one frum the song name of 59th street bridge, or a tunnel, witch thays three of them i kin recollect, namely the queens midtown tunnel n the holland tunnel n the one i take ever day, the lincoln tunnel.

n thang they hates to do mos of all is schlepp over to jersey, witch schlepp is a yiddish wurd fer lug thangs roun but tiz used lack 'go' only when yer trine to deal with movin roun in the city, schlepp seems to say it better.

innywho the new york waterway dun opened up a ferry line to the northern end of hoboken n ye kin catch it at 13th street. costs $5 one way fer a single person, so its a lil too steep fer my blood. i generly take the bus n git my bus pass fer the munth in eggschange fer $65. so we sold em on the idee of takin the ferry across n promissed em beeyootiful views n all, n fack is, once they gut here, they couldnt hardly bleeve how nice tiz.

we tuck em up to look at our apartment, witch folks luvs to show how nice thar place is ifn its nice n ours is. they wuz ritely impressed, mainly bout how thays a washer n drier built into the place n sum art on the walls on a counta i always been a sucker fer folks thats makin art. taint whut ye wood call a good investment in terms of makin money, but it does make fer a nice place ifn ye buy thangs ye luv, witch i dont know a nuff bout art to do nuthin else.

once they had made the tour of the apartment, we walked over to the madison bar n grill on the corner of washington n 14th street. thar we had a fine meal n lots of talk. n durin the talk, seemed lack mos everthang we sed led to sum mazin coincidents or other.

furst off, the fogger splained how he had him a good frien name of jim that used to live in hoboken but he had moved into manhattan on a counta his mama give him a town house on the east side in whut they call a upscale nayborhood. jims mamas on the rich side, case you dint pick thatn up.

so i ast the fogger had he seen his friend lately n turnt out thar had broke out a fuss n fite over sumthin nobidy could member ritely but it happened not long after his friend gut marrd, n long story short, twuz the end of the frienship. thang is, i had me a frien fer nigh onta 17 years, n whenever i gut marrd in 1997, twuz the end of the frienship. seems lack everthang changes whenever sumbidy gits marrd n thay aint the same mount of time lef over fer doin the thangs that made the frienship wurk n sides that, folks git jellus of the new wife or whutever. lease thats one way to splain it. tiz probly more complicated than i kin figger out.

so the fogger sed how he n his frien dont talk much no more n he hadnt seen him but once since the fite broke out. n fack is, he sed, twuz at a weddin of a nuther frien, witch he ast me did i know jake garrison? (in case yer wunderin, im a changin round sum of the names on a counta i dont know ifn folks wood lack me spillin thangs bout em a'usin thar real names). i sed matter of fack, i did know jake garrison n wuz i sprized to larn he wuz the one gut marrd.

the fogger splained bout how jake had marrd a heiress n i ast wuz he still fat on a counta whenever i wuz knowin him, he weighed in about 270 pounds n wuz one of the fattes folks i ever knew. n the fogger laffed a bit bout that n susan did too. thay splained how he had lost sum of his weight but gained it all back. i sed i wuz happy fer im. i member him bein a sad fat man on a counta woodnt no woman have nuthin to do with him.

so magine my sprize when they splained how he had marrd a woman name of esther cohen. witch i had been knowin her longer than innybidy thar. i couldnt bleeve it n had to show everbidy the inside of my mouth on a counta i could hardly keep it shut. i member her bein a purty thang but whut ye mite call a poor lil rich gurl. she wuz verr sad bout life even tho her daddy had dun set her up fer good to whar she dint half to wurk ifn she dint wonta. corse, she wood go crazy with nuthin to do, so i met her wurkin on wall street.

she lacked theater n i had writ a play that sumbidy had perduced, so we gut to be friens. she taught me lots bout drama n new york theater n all. once she directed a lil play n i wuz her assistunt directer.

so i wuz rite struck by the smallness of the worl n frankly amazed how she had marrd jake, witch hes a grate chef n thays lots to im but she wuz always a snob bout how folks looked n whut they did fer a livin n her daddy had tole her that inny man wurth his time wood make it to ceo, witch that aint sumthin jake wood ever wonta do. thang is, hes jewish n that counts fer a lot to her daddy, n he had em make up one of them prenuptshul agreements.

corse, turnt out jake n esther had met on a counta my ole frien of seventeen years, witch lets call him homer southern. so purty soon we gut the fogger to tellin bout him a lil n twuz the furst we had herd of him in years. twuz sad to lose a frien lack i dun n this aint the time to git into all the details that led to that, but ifn i kin keep a'goin with the life n pinions of buddy don, i oughta cum to it by n by.

so nex thang ye know, susan pulled out sum pitchers of her art in yonkers n miz bd sed she thought her stuff looked lack the thangs pavel opocensky is known fer. whut a sprize! she sed she had shared a studio with him n they did have similar idees bout skulptchur n all. whut a small worl, we wuz sayin. they gut to talkin bout the three act play of this mans life, witch he started out as a artist n then gut into a scrape with a skinhed n killt him so he had to got to prison fer a while n then he gut out n started in to makin art agin, only purty soon he wuz arrested fer endangerin children on a counta his art wuz made by rentin a cuple of roma (ye mite know em as 'gypsies' even tho tiz a ugly term to thar ears) children n takin thar pitchers. twuz a nuff to git him back into prison.

twuz quite a sprize how both miz bd n susan had met this same guy. corse, miz bd wuz livin in prague whenever we found each other agin (a nuther tale ill tell ifn i live long a nuff), so she gut to talkin bout prague n we all joined in talkin bout the charles bridge thar.

nex thang ye know, a purty blond hedded woman frum the table nex to ourn sed to scuze her but she couldnt hep overhearin whut we wuz talkin bout. turnt out she wuz frum prague n wuz a czech her ownself. n that led to more conversaytin bout prague n miz bds five years a'livin thar.

finely the dinner wuz over n paid fer n we walked the fogger n susan out to the ferry. n round then, both miz bd n susan sed how we shoulda ast the blond hedded woman did she know pavel opocensky, but fer all we knew, she mite coulda been his daughter.