Monday, June 23, 2003

lessuns lurnt

seem lack this hyar presdint of ourn is teechin us new thangs ever day such as how ye kin use the lang wage to redo yer points. i'm trine to keep up with all the latest brake thrus in how to use wurds. heres sum lessuns ye kin study. fer instints, we kin be thankfull that the man who lives in our presdenchul palace the whitehowse is brangin noo techneeks in lang wage usage to amurka such as the big lie: thisn's when ye tell the same lie overn overn over agin till folks bleeves tis true:

  1. bush claimt that lanks tween saddam whos-insane n al qaeda went back ten yars n wuz still agoin on n nobidy blinkt: "And this Congress and the American people must recognize another threat. Evidence from intelligence sources, secret communications and statements by people now in custody reveal that Saddam Hussein aids and protects terrorists, including members of al-Queda. Secretly, and without fingerprints, he could provide one of his hidden weapons to terrorists or help them develop their own."

    1. but then thars this hyar: "The National Intelligence Estimate said the bomb-making training hadn't been confirmed, and that Saddam Hussein giving biological or chemical weapons to terrorist groups would be an extreme step, used only if the Iraqi leader could not stop the U.S. from invading Iraq, the Post said. The intelligence estimate, of which only 28 pages have been distributed to Congressional leaders, also claimed that contacts between Iraq and Osama Bin Laden, the al-Qaeda leader, occurred in Sudan in the early 1990s, when the terrorist group was in its infancy, the Post said."
    2. n this: "The debunking of the Bush administration's pre-war certainties on Iraq gathered pace on Monday when it emerged that the CIA knew for months that a connection between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda was highly unlikely."
    3. n this: "Two high-ranking al-Qaeda suspects currently in US custody have told CIA interrogators the terror network did not work with the government of Saddam Hussein, the New York Times reported on Monday.  Top al-Qaeda planner and recruiter Abu Zubaydah, captured in March 2002, told the CIA that Osama bin Laden rejected proposals of working with Saddam Hussein because he did not want to be beholden to him, the Times said."

  2. bush claimt saddam whos-insane wuz fixin to use weppons of mass deestruckshun: "For President Bush, the problem centers on the furor over whether he misled the nation and the world by asserting that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction and was linked to Osama bin Laden's al-Qaida terrorist network. Since the twin allegations were primary premises for going to war against Saddam Hussein's regime, pressure has been building on the White House to prove its claims." so how to splain whar them weppons is?:

    1. thars this tale: "PRESIDENT Bush has explained the riddle of Iraq's missing weapons of mass destruction by claiming they were looted."
    2. n ye kin splain't thisaway: "Facing growing criticism about the picture he painted of Saddam Hussein's arsenal, Bush on Monday subtly lowered expectations of what U.S. forces would find in Iraq.  In response to questions from reporters, the president drew a distinction between finding weapons and turning up proof that Iraq once had a program to produce them."
    3. corse, ye got to keep thisn hid: "The United States and Britain sold Saddam Hussein the technology and materials Iraq needed to develop nuclear, chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction.  Reports by the US Senate's committee on banking, housing and urban affairs -- which oversees American exports policy -- reveal that the US, under the successive administrations of Ronald Reagan and George Bush Snr, sold materials including anthrax, VX nerve gas, West Nile fever germs and botulism to Iraq right up until March 1992, as well as germs similar to tuberculosis and pneumonia. Other bacteria sold included brucella melitensis, which damages major organs, and clostridium perfringens, which causes gas gangrene."

  3. n the gratest of em all so far is ritin a noo meenin to "revishunist":

    1. hyears 1: "As a revisionist historian, I believe the president misunderstands what the term "revisionist history" really means. He has spoken out about Holocaust revisionism in the past, a very evil form of revisionist history that denies there ever was a Holocaust, and perhaps that is his sole contact with the phrase. He seems to think revisionist history is generically bad. But there are good forms as well. All revisionist history entails is a new interpretation of some period or topic in the past based on a changed environment and maybe the collection of new information. For example, certain French revisionist historians in the 1980s began challenging the traditional view of the French Revolution as a heroic struggle for liberty, fraternity, equality, and instead interpreted it as the harbinger of modern totalitarianisms."
    2. hyars nuthern: "Seven weeks later and with no vile vials in hand, Bush gave a speech last Monday in Elizabeth, N.J., where he did not make a single reference to weapons of mass destruction. Instead, Bush chose to distract Americans from his Nixonian erasing of his justification for war by criticizing his critics as "revisionist historians."
    3. n twurks ifn ye have one a yer minyuns claimin it, condoleez rice frinstints.

corse thays uther lies that kin be tole!

  1. call yer bill to make teezy fer pluters to keep plutin "clear skies"
  2. call yer bill to make teezy fer lumber cumpnies to cut out the big trees thays awantin by a noo name that makes timpossbul to tell whut ye reely meen: "healthy forests"
  3. cut out inny parts of yer own report that dont agree with whut yeev dun decided ye bleev no matter whut the evdints sez: "The White House directed a major rewrite of an assessment of climate change, removing references to health and environmental risks posed by rising global temperatures, according to internal draft documents made public Thursday."

now i no thays folks that dont reckunize the acheevmint here: wurds is strongern realty

thars yer story, josephine

1 comment:

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