Saturday, June 21, 2003

1st of 7 dedly sins: pride (ye ought not woof)

i speck everbidy knows whut it means to woof but in case ye mist it i cud defin't fer ye. woofin is a form a braggin bout whut ye gone do or even worse whut yer teams a'gone do n acktin lack tis a dun deal a'fore the game is playd. the mos tragickal egzample i no of is whenever them vols was a loosin to ^g ^g ^g alabama ^c ^c ^c crimson ^g ^g ^g tide eleven years runnin n ever year after they'd lose they'd be a'sayin, ye jes wait til next year n we'll show ye. meanwhile, ^b ^b ^b bar ^b ^b ^b brine wud be a'claimin thangs, lack, we aint got much this year n we'll probly get hurt gainst tennessee n sich lack. meanwhal he's fixin' to whup us 'gain. i thank ye get whut im trine say: ye dont go spoutin bout next year n all, n ifn yer a vols fan, ye know we have truble with this consept since we always thanks we ought win tall ever year.

woofin goes back till least the anshunt greeks who called it hubris (i thank thats howts spelt), witch it sorta mint pride n sorta mint braggin bout whut ye wuz a gone do a'fore ye dunt. fer egzample, ifn ye wuz to claim ye cud figger out whuts cawzin the core rupshun in yer city n claim even god cudnt stop ye n ye keep on till ye fine out, n thin ye cummence a findin out awful thangs lack ye were th cawz of the core rupshin yer ownself on account twas yer own daddy ye kilt tho ye dint no it whenever ye dunt n then ye dun mard yer own mama. (case ye mist it, that thars the quik vershun of eddy pus wrecks)

thay claims thays woof gods that keeps tabs on the woofin that folks duz n them same gods meets out punshmint. fer egzample, n i hate to haf to admit thisn, last yar whenever tennessee was a'plane ^f ^f florda, i foun myself a'woofin in my hart bout how the game was a'gettin on cawz seem lack fer the furst quorter or so we wuz domnatin em, n i myownself got so egcited bout how we wuz a'gone win that i pult out my mandlin n start playin a pre emptyve vershun of rocky top. them gods dint have no mercy on me or the vol fateful everwhar cuz as ye all no to my grate shame, thar follerd the wurs five mints of footbawl ever playd by inny team innywhar at innytam cumplete with fumbls n penlties n stoopid miss takes n mor fumbls till florda gut 24 n twuz too late fer them vols to ketch up

i herby polgize to all vol fans everwhar fer whut i dun, tho twudnt sprise me ifn sum otherns wuz a'woofin bout that var same game ratalong with me on acounta the spawn of satun wuz gone.

thays uther ways a'woofin, n peepl've bin punsht fer em. practickly ever day thay woof bout peece in the midl east n ye kin see whut happins thar. or whenever thay sed a war on drugs wud solve that problem. or whenever thay said the stok markt wud go to 36000. or whenever bush sed heed ketch osam bin ladn ded or live. or whenever he sed thayd dun foun em weppens of mas deestruckshun. or whenever thay sed twudnt take morn a hunert thousin troops to in stall democrassy. or whenever he sed the war wuz over n the mishun complisht.

i no tis jes a superstishun, but i tell ye innyway, tis a bad biznes to woof.


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