wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 45:
how me, brew n virgil bought the farm

thays a famous sayin by ralph waldo emerson that goes sumthin lack beware of whut ye wont on a counta yer lackly to git it. furst time i herd that'n, witch twuz in a murkin lit class, it made me real happy on a counta lack most folks, seemed lack gittin whut ye wont is the main point of livin. as ye mite member, one of the thangs i wonted wuz to git virigl n myra jane to move to tennessee. i tole em thar wuz land that could be bought n no reason we couldnt git us a farm n grow our own food n raise chickens n whutever twuz ye need to live.

i reckon i tride so hard to cunvints em that i dint realize i had dun it. corse, i knew once myra, witch we gut to callin her jes mj, but once mj gut a idee in her hed that she wonted to do, twuz hard to put a stop to her. so they rote me in late august of 1975 to let me know thay wuz on the way, n bout the middle of september, they showed up. by then, me n brew wuz livin back home, n ye kin probly put together jes how hectic life wuz.

case ye havent made a list, here tis:

1. i dont hardly mentchun it now, but my job wuz not the worl's easiest n tuck considerbull effort ever nite to keep ahead
   
2. i wuz takin a full load of classes over to roane state communty collidge
   
3. i wuz chasin mos ever thang in a skirt
   
4. i spent a good hunk of my time practissin musick n even playin out now n then
   
5. mos everbidy wuz doin too many drugs

so twuznt lack i had a lot of extry time to hep sumbidy git thar start in tennessee, but i had dun wonted it n gut it, so i had to do sumthin. furst thang wuz, they wood need a place to stay fer the nite, n thar wuznt room a nuff in mama's fer a famlby of three, witch ye mite member how they had em a daughter name of jill, n by then she wuz near four years old. still, twuz good they cum in the evnin on a wensdy since i could call in fer two days of vacayshun n hep em git started. furst thang they needed wuz baths on a counta they had been campin out the hole way cross cuntry. mama wuz pleased to hep out with this by lettin em wash thar cloze in her washer n dry em in her dryer n she even wonted to feed em, but i tole her i had dun promised to take em to shoneys big boy restrunt.

n thats whut we dun n then i tuck em up to frozen hed state park whar we camped. i gut a bottle of ezra befor we lef n that made virgil happy. we drunk a lil too much, witch twuz lucky fer me i upchucked early n then quit drankin on a counta the nex day i dint have no hangover the way virgil dun. n mj wuz alreddy makin noizes bout whut a miss take twuz fer virgil to let his friend talk him into movin her back to 'the hick state.'

n that rite thar led to the furst of minny a fuss n fite tween mj n me. ye kin say lots of thangs roun me without a'gittin me riled in the lease, but whenever ye git to critcizing the grate state of tennessee, yer a'fixin to git a anser back frum me. n as ye mite magine, mj had her a anser fer everthang that wuz ever uttered in the hole histry of the univers n she wuznt one to add mitt ever bein rong.

so i tuck em fer a drive sos we could see whuther we could find a place fer us to live, witch the plan wuz that we wood git a place together n share expentses, but twernt easy to find nuthin. we drove all over morgan county n then looked in roane county n finally we gut to anderson n gut a lil nibble thar in olver sprangs.

nex day i had to go to skool in the mornin so i left em sleepin at the camp n tole em to meet me after class n i promised i wood have us sumthin to smoke on a counta mj dint much care fer drankin n fack is, i dint know how much it bothered her fer me to brang that bottle the furst nite. turns out she wuz wurried bout virgil's drankin but seemed to me lack she wuz wurried bout mos everthang.

they wuz thar round noon as planned n furst thang they tole me wuz the guy in olver sprangs had dun rented the place while we wuz thanking over whut to do. mj wuz a'lettin me have it n astin virgil wuz he reddy to go back to californy yet, but i ast her did she member how to roll a joint on a counta eli had dun scored a fat bag of home grown, witch folks lacked to say home grown wuznt no good but that only kep the price down. so she tuck the bag n shut up till she had rolled five or six numbers n i sed she could take sum of the bag fer later ifn she lacked. n bout half way thru the furst'n she sed she wuz startin to see whar the land in tennessee wuz good.

ye mite wunder why mj wuz so down on tennessee since she wuz born thar, but i have noticed in life that lots of folks lacks to make fun of whar they cum frum, almos as if it makes em more sofisticated. corse thay wuz a tale hanging behind how she felt, only i dint larn it fer a while. mayhap i'll member to tell it sum time.

i bet lookin back, even mj wood add mitt cumin back home to tennessee wuz one of the best thangs she ever dun, but at the time, seem lack she hated me so much that she dint wont innythang to go rite.

then we had us a bit of luck. ye mite member how in chaptur 39 i tole the story bout my parnts silver weddin anniversry. well, mos everbidy on eethur side of the fambly cum to wish em well, n twuz a lil befor the ackshul date on a counta they wonted to have it out at one of mama's rich friends, witch she had a few on a counta she sold em dresses frum a shop whar she wurked. thisn wuz a woman name of anna smith-liebling, witch her real name wuz anna smith n she marrd a man name of chris liebling n then made him take a hyfenated name on a counta hers wuz famous alreddy. i reckon ye dun probly herd bout the smiths, huh?

innywho, ant rachel wuz thar n fer sum reason she tole brew n me she wuz a'sellin a farm out on black oak road n wood we be in the lease intrested. we sed we mite could be n ast direckshuns.

nex day, we rode out to black oak ridge with virgil n mj n jill n brew n me n saw that farm, witch twuz mainly a tree farm with 20.5 acres n two houses n a barn. we walked all round it n saw twuz a fine place n then thar wuz only the problem of the price, witch twuz $29,500.

it tuck sum doin to figger out how we could buy that farm, but we knew twuz whut we wonted to do bout halfway thru our walk round the border. furst we went to the bank of oak ridge, only they sed we dint have a nuff fer the down paymint, witch they wonted us to put down at lease $10,000. we only had the $2,000 i had lef over frum the last savins plan.

by then, brew had gut him a job out at the plant, ornl that is, n we deecided to see what the credit unions could do. turnt out i could git $2,500 frum the k25 credit union n brew could git the same frum the y12 credit union,  so that mint we wood have $7,000 to put down. we drove over to oak ridge n ast ant rachel whut more we wuz a'gone need.

n she wuz real happy n tole us ifn we could let her have $1,000 of earnest money, she could make sure nobidy else gut it. n we wuz sorely tempted, but we dint wonta risk losin so much money in case we couldnt cum up with tuther $3,000, but uncle henry cum in n sed he wood give us a second morgidge. n he showed us how we could set it up whar me n brew bought the prop'ty n rented one of the two houses to virgil n mj n count the rent as incum. n purty soon, he had put together a piece of paper with a nuff figgers on it that the bank of oak ridge wuz suddenly all smiles.

so we dun it, even tho twuz a verr scary thang, n we had to trust each other a lot. n the most trublesum thang wuz how the current occupunts of them houses had three munths lef befor they had to git out.

then thar wuz the questchun that mj kep astin on a counta no matter whut problems ye solved, she wood cum up with new ones to wurry bout, n that wuz how did we thank virgil n mj wuz spozed to make them paymints?

twuz a good questchun, so we went out in mama's back yard n passed round a joint while jill played on my knee n purty soon brew sed he dint see why virgil couldnt git a job a shoneys big boy restrunt. n i ast dint he have the gi bill?

so by nex week, he had dun gut a job washin dishes, witch twuz on a counta eli quittin n then goin frum oak ridge mental helth clink to the va hospital in murfreesboro, so they wuz in need of a dishwasher n eli had sed he woodnt do it no more. he wuz goin fer 100 per cent disabilty, n after murfreesboro, he gut it.

n virgil gut into roane state communty collidge n that mint the stoteses, witch virgils name wuz virgil martin stotes, them stoteses had em a nuff money, n they fixed a place on the farm whar they could camp n i let virgil use my motorsickle so mj wood have a car, n thangs wuz lookin good.

but mj dint stop complainin till the folks in the lil house had moved out early n thay had moved in. by christmas, we wuz all a'livin thar, brew n me in the big house, virgil n mj n jill in the lil'n.

i wuz still wurkin graveyards, so one evnin i gut up n went to shoneys big boy restrunt fer dinnner n thar wuz mj. i ast could i join her, n she agreed. seemed lack we wuz a'gittin along a lil better, so i risked astin wuz she happy bout the way thangs had turnt out.

n she looked at me lack i wuz jes as crazy as eli n she sed she woodnt say she wuz happy on a counta she had too much to wurry bout.

besides that, she sed she had dun escaped frum the sticks n hicks once, n now she wuz back n stuck with a farm full of em.