thay wuz a lil welcum parade fer the gop yesterdy, witch ye kin read bout it here. po-leece estimate thay wuz up to half a million folks marchin to welcum yall to town.
now that the march is over, ye mite could wunder what thay is to do in town. i reckun folks has dun figgerd out witch broadway shows yer allowd to see n witch parties ye git to go to n fer that matter, most everthang ye need to know, but twoodnt sprize me ifn they dun fergot to tell ye whars the best places in town to git yer sangle malt scotch. tiz a oppertunty that ye orta not waste on a counta ye kin git bof the bes prices n bes see-leckshun rite thar in man hattan.
furst, let's mentchun the bes place to find yerself that mythical good sangle malt scotch fer about $20 (rtb standurd).
crossroads wines n spirits
bes place fer that is a likker store name of crossroads, witch heres a map fer how ye git thar n heres a pitcher of it:
tiz located down on 14th street near 6th avenue, witch fer folks frum outta town thay lacks to call thatn avenue of the amurkas, witch heres a pitcher of the sign that lets ye know yer nearby:
heres proof ye kin git a bottle of bowmore legend fer under $20:
corse, the real ackshun is inside, whar ye gut a good see-leckshun:
warehouse wines n spirits
i dun writ bout the nextn, witch thats warehouse wines n spirits. tiz located on braodway twixt 6th n 7th streets or one block west of astor place.
park avenue liquor shop
finely, fer them with money to spend that wonts to git the best see-leckshun of all, thays a famus place name of park avenue liquor, witch as ye kin see frum this here pitchers, tiz located on 41st n madison avenue:
ye kin even read about thisn in michael jackson's grate book, name of Complete Guide to Single Malt Scotch. we tride to go by n git sum pitchers on saturdy, but wuz we ever sprized to find out twuz closed. i'm a'hopin they aint a'gone close fer the hole cunventchun, witch i doubt ifn they will. innywho, here's whut it looks lack when ye git closer:
corse, ifn ye git too close, yer a'gone face sum mitey temptayshun, witch ifn yer lucky, ye gonna give in toot:
corse, ye kin git crazy with yer co-lecktin. magine ifn ye wonted to co-leck all them macallans?
lease ye wood know whar to begin.
have a good time while yer in town. buy sum scotch to take home with ye, to remind ye jes how friendly this here town is.
corse, ye could jes walk down the block frum the garden on 36th street till ye git to keens, whar ye kin see-leck frum a giant menu of sangle malt scotch, witch i dun writ bout keens here n here n here.
thar tiz, gop. hope ye enjoy yer trip. yall cum back real soon!
Mark Harmon on American Exceptionalism
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