pinions of buddy don: losers wurds -- wooda coulda shoulda fonly

thays a set of losers wurds amungst folks i know that pays tenchun to sports that sum folks lacks to use after thar team dun lost. twill be time to say sumthin lack, 'we shoulda won n we could won n we wooda won fonly our quarterback hadnt fumbled the ball five times in the secunt quarter.' fack is, i mite coulda used that verr statement back whenever tennessee wuz a'losin to florida durin a rain storm in knoxvull a year or two back.

taint no big deal ifn such wurds is used bout sports on a counta sports dont really matter all that much. but when pall tishuns start usin em, ye kin bet they have a losin argument.

fer instunts, after the lousy jobs numbers cum out earlier this week, mr bush n tutherns amungst his folks wuz splainin that twuznt really bad but ifn twuz, twernt as bad as it coulda been n woulda been fonly the presdents purrfeck pallcies hadnt been used. heres a typicull eggzample frum the washington posts frunt page:

"Who knows what the economy would have looked like without the tax-cut packages?" asked Stephen Gallagher, chief economist at the investment firm S.G. Cowen & Co. "We might not be happy where we are, but it likely would have been much worse."

this is a argument that opposes whuts real with the worl of losers wurds: 'wooda coulda shoulda fonly.' heres a translayshun:

tiz a fack the economy shoulda dun better, but it coulda been wurser n wooda been wurser fonly it hadnt been fer the pallsies we put in place n promissd wood wurk ceptn they dint lessn ye figger how much wurser thangs could wooda shoulda been fonly we had used inny pallsies but the verr ones we used.

corse, ye kin translate most of whut the administrayshun sez bout iraq or terrist attacks into the same langwage.

but we aint gut time fer that over whar i wurk: we gut to git reddy fer the rnc, witch everbidy is doon thar bes to git outta town: my boss n his boss n his boss is all takin vacayshuns. fack is, i shoulda tuck one n coulda tuck one n wooda tuck one fonly i had noticed how folks is a'scairt that they caint be pertected proper lack durin the event on a counta thays a slew of folks that wonts to dissrup the cunventchun. but i caint hep but thank fonly they kin perteck us, witch miz bd lacks to point out that a point that begins with fonly aint verr lackly to punkchur nuthin! but i gut to hope they kin perteck us on a counta, i caint git no vacayshun fer that week now ...

i shoulda ...
i coulda ...
i wooda ...
fonly i had!