wandering hillbilly

life of buddy don, chaptur 106:
true romants in a paris horehouse

emily n her mama n her mamas best friend polly pierce had dun run into the hotel. i wuz payin the cab ride, witch it cost 13 francs n i give the fella a 50 franc note n he give me a few lil coins. had i been cheated? i wuz shiverin n i dint know whut to say since i dint speak no french ceptn fer je ne parle pas francais, witch i gut thatn frum katharine mansfield n twuznt whut i wonted to say, but i sed it innyway n he cummened to splainin sumthin in french, witch seemed lack he wuz mad fer not gittin no tip. he kep pointin at my palm till i tuck closer look at them coins n seen how one of em wuz wurth 20 francs n a nuthern wuz 10, so i picked one out to give him but by then he had dun drove off mad.

twuz febuwary 29 of 1980 n we wuz visitin our secunt new cuntry in a week, witch fer maureen n polly, twuz thar third in a week on a counta they hadnt never been to west germany befor.

i half to tell ye, them vacayshuns couldnta cum at a better time. twuz about half way thru our time in west germany n we wuz as low as could be. thar wuz a brake in skool n emily had cunvintsed maureen n polly to cum over fer a vacayshun frum the 18th of febuwary to the 5th of march.

emily had dun been so homesick till she could cry, so twuz quite a reunion whenever her mama cum thru customs. they hugged n laffed n hugged n cride n hugged agin. i give em a lil hello hug my ownself, but fer a while, me n polly jes watched emily n her mama. we gut thar stuff n showed em the carts n gut em to the hauptbahnhof n maureen wonted to take one of them mercedes benz taxicabs we had writ about in them letters we wuz sendin em mos everday, witch twuz verr nice to git home so easy. they wuz a lil sprized bout how tiny the aparment wuz, but they never cumplained once. i had been a lil wurried bout how we wood git along, but twuznt a problem atall.

fer one thang, twuz lack eatin candy with yer ears to hear em talk. then thay wuz gifts lack real marlboros fer emily n new notebooks fer me n three rivers corn meal fer bofus. corse, twuznt long befor ye could see the air in our apartment but i opened the winder n tole em bout frische luft, witch twuz too cold to leeve it open long but they tuck the hint n kindly slowed down thar smokin. ye mite could thank thar woodnt be no way we could all sleep in that lil apartment, but they brung em sum sleepin bags n sum kinda way we stretched out across the floor. they dint never cumplain bout the food i cooked, witch twuz verr simple fare ceptn fer the time i fixed em sum chicken livers, witch emily wuz always beggin fer em. but thangs wuz tite in that lil place n they could see i couldnt hardly breathe fer all the smoke, so maureen sed she wonted to go see london n paris.

so thats whut we dun, startin with london by takin a flight on dan air, witch twuz a wonderful lil trip only dint much happen. maureen n polly went thar way fer the mos part, shoppin fer cloze n such, tho we did all go out to see buckingham palace together n we went to the tower of london but the crown jewels wuznt thar.

innywho, fer me n emily twuz lack walkin thru the pages of a book since we had dun read so minny novels that wuz set in london. the names of places wuz magick to our ears: kensington gardens, pickadilly circus, trafalgar square, westminster abby, victoria stayshun, fleet street, yew name it.

one afternoon while we wuz in a bookstore on that verr fleet street n emily wuz hunkerd down readin a book, i sneaked n bought a nice hardcover edishun of emily dickinsons poetry, witch the way she fell in luv with it, i sed, 'ye wood thank i had brung ye the crown jewels.' witch she sed that book wuz filled with more jewels than ye could fit in the english crown. twuz one of them moments n we kissed rite thar in the middle of a crowded sidewalk. folks walked around but nonbidy sed nuthin.

course the people wuz the nicest we had met in all our time in europe. not a one wuz rude n we luved hearin em speak the langwage. ye miss hearin it spoke good. so ye mite could say we had a purty good trip to london.

but in paris, seem lack we started rite out havin us a add ventchur. i gut our suitcases n carrd em in. twuz dark as could be n thar wuz a long hallway. tiz probly bes that i dont member the name of that hotel. twuz the cheepest one we could find on a list we had gut at the hauptbahnhof in frankfurt. we had deecided we could jes put the trip to paris together without usin no blitzreise folk, witch thems the ones that gut us on dan air to london.

at the end of that long hall wuz the front desk, witch twuznt much. off to the lef wuz a lil parlor lack whar folk could sit n drank tea. behind the desk thay wuz a bunch of cubbyholes with keys n envelopes n such. n standin thar jes red in her face wuz emily trine to push out a nuff french wurds to git us two rooms. she had writ down mos everthang she thought she wuz a'gonna half to say, but she hadnt figgerd on meeting monsier molyneux, witch he wuz the fella at the frunt desk.

i cum up on thar lef side n put down them suitcases. maureen n polly wuz watchin emily lack she wuz walkin a tite rope or sumthin. thar faces wuz pinched lack they wuz trine to hep. emily wuz thar sayin sumthin in french a time or two n then sumthin else a time or two, almos lack she wuz a'stammerin. i watched fer a mint or so till monsier molyneux looked over with his hand in frunt of his mouth n whisperd bout as loud as he could, 'Dont interrupt her. She's doing fine.'

the instunt he dun that, emily bursts out in english bout how we wonted two rooms, one fer maureen n polly --

but befor she could git goin good, monsier molyneux gits all agitated n cummences to splainin sumthin in french, witch emily turns to me with a look on her face that sez she cant bleeve her own ears, so i ast her whut? n she sez he claims he dont unnerstand no english. i look at him, n he puts his hand in frunt of his mouth n leans over to me n sez, 'It's good for her to use French. How else will she learn?' n he turns back to her jes as calm as could be n they cummence to talkin french till he gives her a couple of keys n up we go, maureen n polly to thar room on the secunt floor, me n emily to ourn on the thurd.

we hadnt never seen no room lack thatn befor. fer one thang, the bed wuz plum wore out. thay wuznt no whar to hang yer cloze, not that we had the hangin kind, but maureen n polly did, n twuz the mos amazin thang the found bout paris: no closets! n rite in the middle of our room they had em this false toilet thang, witch emily splained twuz called a bidet n wuz fer washin out yer private parts. i ast her whut bout jes takin a bath or shower, n she sed twuz fer use rite after sex. i wuz sprized on a counta i hadnt herd of nobidy in europe wontin to keep so clean befor.

we gut settled a nuff to cum back downstairs n monsier molyneax had a couple of street maps reddy fer us. he never ast wuz we a'gonna all four be together n fack wuz, we dint spend a hole lot of time together on a counta maureen n polly lacked to shop n me n emily lacked to walk around n take pitchers n visit famous places we had read about in books. he had marked off a big ole area of it n sed we wuznt to go in them parts, witch when we ast him why, he sed twuz whar the arabs lived n they wood rob us. then he marked out whar we wuz to go, one root fer maureen n polly to foller n a longern fer me n emily. ye couldnt hardly have no better guide.

the root he give me n emily tuck us furst to the arc de triomphe n then down the champs elysee to the place de la concorde n the jardin des tuileries n then over to the left bank whar we wuz to visit the hotel des invalides n finely walk up to the tour eiffel. after that, he sed we wuz a'gonna be all tuckerd out so we wuz to cum back to that hotel. he even tole us whar to eat our lunch, witch twuz upstairs in a department store on that champs elysee n twuz sum of tastiest vittles we ever et. even better wuz the glass of wine they give us, witch tasted almos as good as it wurked.

shore a nuff, we barely gut that root walked till we wuz wore plum out n could barly walk back to the hotel, but we dun it, n thar to greet us wuz monsier molyneux, witch he insisted we have, as he put it in a purrfeck english ackcent, 'A spot of Earl Grey?' we tride to beg off on a counta how we wuz tired. we jes wonted to fall into a bed n die fer a while, but he woodnt let us say no. so then we sed we wonted to freshen up, so he sed he wood let us go fer twenty mints, but then he eggspeckted us back downstairs. he wood have the tea reddy fer us.

we dint lack it but we dun it. emily wonted to soak in a bath, but twuznt to be. we dint have no time to wash but jes put on sum fresh shirts, witch we bof never wore nuthin but blue jeans n flannel shirts. seem lack a fuss n fite wuz trine to brake out betwixt us, but we dint have the luxury of no time to git it a'goin befor we had to go back down.

thar we sat in that dim lit parlor n drunk tea n et a lil dinner he had made out of cheese n bread n olives n cold cuts n listned to monsier molyneux tell us tales frum his life. turnt out he could speak nine langwages, witch they wuz french, english, german, italian, spanish, russian, arabic, chinese, n vietnamese. he had tales frum each place on a counta when he wuz 'young and foolish' he wuz a soljer of fortune, witch he sed he dint git no fortune frum it ceptn his memries. he wuz in algeria durin the revolushun thar n gut half a ear cut off, witch we hadnt noticed it till then. he wuz in vietnam when twuz a french thang, n thar he gut shot twice, witch he showed us the wound in his arm but tuthern wuz private. in moscow he wuz 'free lancing,' witch he dint splain whut that meant. but he kep us verr intertained.

ever so often, in wood cum a gurl frum outside n she wood go behin the frunt desk in take a key n disapear upstairs. ever one of em wuz jes as beeyootiful as could be n they wuz all dressed rite sexy. ever now n agin thay wood cum a fella n he wood go rite up them stairs lack he knew whar he wuz a'goin. twernt long till monsier molyneux gut aroun to splainin how we wuz in one of the finer places, that his gurls, his 'athletes,' wuz all of the highest qualty n inspeckted ever week. purty soon he tuck to innerducin differnt ones of em.

i member the furst to cum see us, witch she wuz a verr lite skinned black woman name of angelique. she wuz barly dressd in a green skirt so short it dint cover the tops of her hose n a blouse ye could see rite thru. monsier molyneux had me take her hand n tole me to kiss it lack a gentlemun, witch i dun it. she pulled me rite close n twuz a lil nerve rackin rite thar in frunt of emily but monsier molyneux kep a'talkin n twuz makin me n emily laff. he kep braggin bout how his gurls wuz athletes n astin us ifn we couldnt see how angelique wuz in the best of shape, directin us to look at her legs, look at her neck, almos lack she wuz a race horse. but ye could see she wuz verr happy with him, big smile on her face n him jabberin away furst in french bout us till she wuz laffin then in english bout her till we wuz.

he musta innerduced us to six or eight of em, ever one as purty as a model. not a one of em had a nuff cloze on n they employed all kinds a tricks to git ye a'lookin at how beeyootiful they wuz, witch they dun thangs lack wearin frilly lil socks with thar hi heels n black nylons or a blouse whar it seem lack they wuznt no way to keep thar breasts frum a'fallin rite out. n twuz one with her tricks a'pullin my nose down to mayhap three inches frum her busums after tuther till it gut to feelin lack torchur. but just when i figgerd i couldnt take no more, emily sed, 'lawsy day! tis nigh onto eleven o clock.' then she yawned real big. so monsier molyneux sed twuz time he let the luv birds go up to bed.

thang wuz, we had been so tired we could barly walk into the door whenever we furst cum back to that hotel frum site-seein. but whenever we gut upstairs, emily ast did i thank twood be possibull fer me to hep her git washed usin the bidet. i ast her whut did she mean but befor she could anser she had tuck her pants pulled off n hunkerd down overt till i knew whut to do.

my god whut a nite cum after that. seem lack we wood jes barely git to that point of floatin away n catchin yer breath after doin the deed, that instunt whar ye generly fall asleep, only she wood say twuz time to git up to use that thar bidet agin n i wood try to resist till she gut in place n ast fer my hep. i couldnt hold back n quick as i gut a lather a'goin she wood cummence to talkin bout them women n how i looked when monsier molyneux made me kiss thar hands n how they wood pull me rite over inches frum their near naked nipples n she wonderd did i git the temptayshun to go do thangs with em n i sed twuz only natcherul. n she insisted i tell bout how thangs i mite coulda done with em or whutever else mite coulda happend. n i sed i dint know whut she meant till she begged me to tell her a bedtime story n then i made up sexy tales to whipser into her ears till she wuz reddy to burst.

we dint git up the nex day till maureen n polly wuz dun gone. twuz near one pm whenever we cum down. thar wuz monsier molyneux lack he had been a'waitin fer us. he give us a big ole greetin n offerd us a nuther spot of earl grey. we tole him we appreciated it n we sat down. purty soon we had drunk sum of that tea n et sum bread n butter n jam. n the hole time, he jes sat watchin us till finely i ast him wuz innythang rong?

fer a anser he sed twuznt nuthin rong, twuz sumthin rite, witch he sed that even tho he probably had five times as minny wurds as innybidy else in the worl, he wuz struck dumb by seein sumthin he dint never eggspeck to see in no paris horehouse. so we ast him whut whut wuz it? n he sed, 'true romants.' then he laffed real big n give us a map with the root marked out whar we wuz to go n tole us we wuz late, so off we went. he tole us we should visit this place called montmartre, witch he sed twuz the real thang, the historickull redlight districk. he splained how twuz whar toulouse-lautrec had made his pitchers, so we made a point of visitin it n even goin by the bal de moulin rouge cafe, but twuz dingy in the daylight, a let down after monsier molyneux.

corse, whut we couldnt know then wuz how mos everthang is dingy in the daylite n a let down after monsier molyneux n thay aint much ye kin find in yer hole life inny bettern true romants in a paris horehouse.