life of buddy don, chaptur 118: tell me a lil story

one of the thangs i larnt frum emily wuz jes how importunt the maginayshun is whenever it cums to sex. i reckon twuz always so fer me, but i caint say as how i had noticed it to such a degree till she cum along. corse, twuz the case whenever i gut to practicin kissin with darlene way back in chaptur 7: stains n uther complicayshuns one of the mane thangs i lacked to thank bout as i wuz fallin asleep n hopin fer one of them dreams wuz gittin to see darlene without a stitch on her. fack is, furst time i gut to see her thataway, twuz jes lack i had magined twuz a'gonna be.

but fer reasons i caint ritely splain, seem lack that kinda reackshun faded n it gut sos when suze wood ast me to take a bath or shower with her on a counta how she lacked to have sumbidy else wash her back, well, i wood git in that shower n go thru the hole thang without the furst thought of sex. corse, suze had her ways of brangin up the subjeck whenever we wuznt bathin. fack is, ifn ye could larn thangs by bein tole em, i wooda dun larnt thisn befor me n darlene ever gut hitched on a counta i wuz tole n even showed the fack of it, but i dint real eyes it fer years, till it tuck emily to demonstrate it sos i could git it finely.

way i wuz tole bout it wuz, i had a cuzin on mamas side of the fambly name of doyle mize, witch he wuz the son of aint sary n her furst husbin mike who wuz the bruther of ant ruths husbin pappy. innywho, he wuz oldern me n had dun been in the marines jes lack mos of the cuzins on mamas side of the fambly. that mint we figgerd mos innythang he ever sed had to be true. bein as i wuz so much yunger than him, i dint talk much with him, but he needed sum hep drivin a car cross cuntry one time n i wuz waitin to git marrd to darlene, so i wuz the one to doot. the trip tuck us thru las vegas n we went into one of them casinos they gut. we went sos we could git a free drank before goin to bed only i dint drank nuthin but coke on a counta not wontin him to know how i wuz a lergic to alkyhol.

while we wuz a'waitin fer sumbidy to brang roun the dranks, he wuz pullin on one of them one armed bandit thangs, witch i put a quarter in my ownself n gut $32 back in quarters, so i quit n tuck em to git em changed to foldin money. whenever i cum back, thay wuz a woman thar brangin the dranks n i wuz sprized bout how she dint have a stitch of clothin on ceptn her shoes n a par of long gloves n a lil collar that dint have no shirt attached toot. i kindly looked tuther way n wuz sprized how it dint git no reackshun frum me. i hadnt hardly been roun no nekkid women up to then n seemed lack in my maginayshun they wood git me aroused jes by the fack of thar bein nekkid, but in this case, it seemd mosly sad.

we tuck our dranks n doyle finishd feedin his quarters to the machine till it finely turnt him a'loose n we went up to a free room he'd gut us. thay wuz two beds in thar n we each tuck one. rite as i wuz bout to fall asleep he sed, 'aint nuthin less sexy than a nekkid woman.' i ast him why wuz that n he sed that when ye thank bout whut turns ye on, tiz sumthin that happens whenever the woman still has her cloze on n yer trine to cunvints her she mite wonta let em be tuck off. 'tis the seduckshun thats sexy, not the nekkid body.'

thatn tuck me years of pondern on till i could see jes whut he meant. corse whenever twuz jes darlene n me, we wuz havin sex lack twuz homewurk that ye had to do ever nite, witch i dun rote bout that in that chaptur 80 name of sex. we dint play roun too much with no seduckshun. twuz lack innythang with darlene whar ye had to git thangs started n dun the quickest way ye could do, so lack as not, we wood both be nekkid befor innythang gut a'goin.

thangs with susannah wuz differnt in most ways ceptn one, witch she wood let ye know she wuz purty much either in the mood or not n ifn twuz the latter, thay wuznt nuthin ye could do to cunvints her otherwise, n ifn twuz the former, twuz jes a matter of gittin to whutever twuz she lacked, witch she wood be nekkid bout as quick as we deetermined she wuz in the mood. one time i suggested how it mite be fun ifn she wood leeve sum of her cloze on durin the ack, lack ifn she wuz to wear a skirt without panties or ifn she wuz to let me buy sumthin sexy fer her to wear in the bed. that suggestchun led to one of our wurst fuss n fites ever. she claimed i dint luv her -- the real her -- but wonted to turn her into sum kinda fantasy of sum kind. i made thangs wurser by astin why did we have to keep fantasies out of our sex life n she ackted lack ifn i had to ast the questchun, then twuz obveeyus i dint unnerstand the most basick thangs bout her.

taint lack she wuznt willin to do sum verr sexy thangs n sumtimes ye could only do em whenever she still had her cloze mosly on, lack how she luved to doot out in natchur sumwhar n then twood be a matter of bein reddy quick to put yer cloze back on ifn sumbidy wuz to cum by. we mite be out paddlin in her canoe n spot a nice place to park n git out fer a bite n purty quick after we had smoked one of her skinny lil joints after eatin, she mite cummence to gittin idees bout havin me 'take her up agin that tree,' witch twernt as sexy a thang as it sounds ritin it now. we wood git over by the tree n git to kissin n she mite pull her pants n panties bout halfway down n ast wood i git on my knees, witch twuznt the bes posishun to get at her fer much moren makin shore she wuz properly lubrickated. she dint eggspeck to have no orgasum in such circumstances on a counta how twuz almos impossibull fer her to let herself go a nuff fer that even ifn she wuz home in her own bed. but purty soon i wood be standin n have my pants undun n she wood turn n hug the tree n ast me to take her. i wood doot, tho twernt near as sexy as it sounds now on a counta how i wuz watchin out to make shore nobidy wuz cummin by n trine to keep my pants frum slippin down to the ground n fack is, i wuz manely trine to finish on a counta durin such a episode, mane thang she wonted wuz fer me to cum.

ye mite kin member a book that cum out in 1972 name of the joy of sex, witch the bes thang that cum frum that wuz a nuther book by nashunul lampoon name of the job of sex. thang is, even with sumbidy lack suze ye could git to whar twuz the job of sex on a counta how she lacked to judge it by how minny times had we had it durin a sartin spell. ifn we hadnt dun it durin a week, then she figgerd we needed to doot a lil exter the nex week. she figgerd twernt healthy ifn we wuznt gittin it a lease three times a week, witch that dont sound lack much, but whenever yer wurkin differnt skedules lack we wuz, twuz a bit trublesum to fit it all in. she wuz also verr quick to git a yeast infeckshun but that dint mean she wonted to change the frequency inny only the method. corse, bein as how she could only reach her climax one way, that bein the delicut applicayshun of my tung, thay wuz plenty of times when she dint even speck to cum close to no release fer her own self. but that dint matter nun on a counta how she could tell fer sartin whuther i had cum n that wuz purty much how she wuz a'measurin thangs.

as ye mite speck, thangs wuz cumpletely differnt with emily. she felt lack it ruint thangs to have sex jes to have sex. she dint wont it lessn bofus wuz rilly a'wontin it. she dint lack havin it in the dark n dint lack havin it too much in dint lack it to be too perdictabull. she also dint thank sex wuz bout everthang ye could do leadin up to 'the male orgasum' n then rollin over to take a nap. fack is, she dint thank that the male orgasum had that much to do with good sex, mayhap on a counta she rilly larnt bout good sex frum havin it with that german teechur name of laura bishop. way she saw thangs, the male orgasum made a good epilog fer the mane story of sex, witch twuz the minny orgasums a woman mite have while keepin her man rite on the edge till he figgerd he wuz a'fixin to burst, witch she lacked to make me hold back jes a lil longer till i the burstin wuz almos moren i could take.

she also bleeved qualty wuz more importunt thatn quanty. so it could be weeks betwixt sesshuns n then we mite do lil else durin a hole weekend. she never lacked to have it after dark on a counta how she wuz turnt on by bein seen whenever ye finely pulled her jeans n panties off her. corse, she dint thank twuz rite to dress sexy: she also still dressed purty much lack she mite still be sparkin with laura bishop, witch her uniform wuz a flannel shirt, a pair of blue levis, underwired bra, cotton high-waisted panties, knee socks n boots or sturdy shoes that she bought in the mens department.

twuznt lack she dint unnerstan the power of a sexy image. long bout that time, we gut to whar we wood haunt used bookstores n one time we wuz out at a lil flea market place out on alcoa hiway, witch virgil n mj luved visitin the big flea market they had out thar ever week. on the way home, we mite git em to stop by that other flea market, witch virgil lacked lookin thru old colleckshuns of nashunul geografic or scientific amurkin. innywho, on this particlar trip i wuz pickin up a copy of the norton antholgy of amurkin literchur fer a dime whenever she sum up n sed thay wuz sumthin i should see in a lil back room. turnt out they had em a colleckshun of erotick literchur n mens magazines back thar. she had dun picked out a book name of the romance of lust n ast did i wonta git sum of them penthouse magazines, witch she sed they had sum good letters. corse i had dun been a'knowin that on a counta i had a huge colleckshun of mens magazines that i gut rid of whenever me n suze had that fite when i ast her bout keepin sum cloze on durin sex that wuznt outdoors. innywho, they wuz lettin em go fer 50¢ a copy or three fer a buck or 20 fer a five spot, witch the mos amazin thang bout that wuz how emily figgerd we should go with the best deal even if $5 wuz a lot fer us. but we picked up a see leckshun of em along with romance of lust n a book name of arabella.

twuz one of them moments in a marrg whar thangs changes ferever even ifn ye dont real eyes tiz whuts a'happenin. we gut home n let virg n mj cum up on a counta how i wonted to git hi n dint have no smoke, but twuz purty clear that me n emily wuznt much in the mood fer visitin. whenever virgil suggested we git a six pack, mj sed twuz time to go n let the two luvbirds git to whut theys rilly wontin to do. it tuck a lil while fer virgil to git whut she wuz a'sayin n then he wonted to talk bout it, but she gut up n sed he could stay ifn he lacked, but she wonted to git sum beer n git home. wuz he cummin? corse we hadnt sed he could stay the nite on our couch n dint have no plan to offer it, but he had a habit of stayin purty often durin the week. emily sed she needed to study.

'besides, buddys gut about a millyun papers to grade' n she she splaind how i wuz jes acktin lack i wonted a visit when whut i needed wuz to git to wurk. besides, she sed, tellin a lie that cawt me by sprize, 'he dun tuck one of them columbas fer his asthma n he aint spozed to drank after em.' that clinched it fer virgil on a counta in them daze he dint much lack to drank alone.

the door slammed on em finely n bout as quick as ye could say jimmy crack corn, emily n me wuz a'lyin in the bed with her astin me wood i unclip her bra, witch i dun it n she pulled it out sum kinda way women have whar they kin git thar bra off without takin off thar shirt. then she had me cum up beside of her, pillers piled hi sos she could lean agin the hed of the bed n read. we gut to lookin thru sum of them penthouse magazines n commentin on witch of the women looked best n witch looked jes plane stupid n why twuz that men lacked to look at women a'wearin practickully nuthin n assumin odd posishuns that folks dint normally use fer nuthin, not even sex, in real life. but twuz a verr sexy thang to do n we wuz bof so turnt on thar purty soon she ast wood i hep her pull off her pants n panties, witch while i dun that, all but one of them buttons on her shirt cum undun. i wuz still dressd n whenever i started to take off my pants, she ast wood i leave em on fer a bit, so i dun it. she wuz sittin so that even tho she wuz near nekkid, ye couldnt see nuthin on a counta the shirt hung down twixt her legs n she had her knee socks pulled to her knee n that one button kep thangs to whar ye couldnt git much moren a peak now n agin.

now ye mite could thank they wuznt much in this worl sexier than havin emily thar dressd lack she wuz n all, but twuznt nuthin new. she never wore nuthin differnt n as we leafed thru sum of them pitchers, i tride to point out how sexy it made them women to be a'wearin thangs lack stockins n skirts n all, but that jes made her say they had the bodies fer it n whenever i sed she did too, she tuck it lack twuz a insult, so i gut to kissin on that speshul place on her neck n then to strokin her thighs n gittin close but not touchin whar she wuz wontin me to. she gut to whar she wuz lyin back jes waitin fer me to finely make contack, but i dint do moren cum close. this hole time i wuz acktin lack she wuz showin me sumthin with them magazines tht i hadnt seen but a cuple times befor, so i ast her bout them letters she had mentchunned. she picked one of em back up n gut to readin.

purty soon i couldnt resist the urge to touch her whar she wonted it n purty soon i put my tung whar my fangers had been n she kep a readin till she cummenced to havin her orgasums, witch twuz always the odd-numberd one that wuz tuff fer her. so it tuck four letters before i felt her breathin reach a sartin state n then them twitches cummenced n purty soon she had her furstn, witch bout as quick as she quit twitchin the nextn started. then she wonted me to take my pants off sos she could see but she dint wonta touch yet till she had read thru sevrul munths wurth, a gittin her orgasums two by two till she finely sed she wonted to watch me. i dint know eggzackly whut she meant by that, but turnt out she wonted me to take keer of my ownself, witch i dint wonta doot till she sed she wonted to see whuther twuz hot lack it sed in one of them stories n that gut me a'goin till we proovd how twuz hottern she eggspeckted. as ye mite speck with emily, twernt the end of the fun by inny means but jes the start.

long bout the middle of the nex week, after we had et our dinner n watched barney miller n she had washed the dishes, twuz time fer me to go to bed, witch she always stayed up latern i did. but i wuz back leaned up agin the hed of the bed trine to read george merediths book name of the egoist when the door opend n in she cum. turnt out she had been feelin a lil guilty durin the hole marrg on a counta she knew i needed sex more often than she did. twuz a lil part of how she dint see the plot of sex with a man to be about the rise n fall of his penis, i reckon. she cuddled up n i gut to wunderin whuther she wuz in the mood, witch twuz after dark n she dint seem lack that wuz whut she wonted. finely she ast did i wonta look at one of them magazines. i ast her did she but she sed twuznt bout whut she wonted. she wuz wundern whuther i wood lack to look at one. i sed i mite, so she brung the hole stack out frum the closet n set em on the floor by my side of the bed. she tuck one out, witch it had sum pitchers she knew i lacked a lot, n she gut to astin me bout each pitcher n then she ast could she watch me agin. i ackted a lil stupid by astin her whut did she wonta watch. she sed she wonted to see whuther twuz true that a man could give his ownself a orgasum bout as good as inny he could git frum sex. i tole her twuznt n all, but she had read it n wonted to see n ast me to give myself the bestn i could do. so i dun it n she wuz eggcited a nuff to touch her ownself while she wuz a'watchin till whenever twuz over i had dun my one n she had dun four. she sed twuz eggcitin to see how eggcited i gut.

after that, she wonted me to do the same thang ever nite. mayhap twuz a strategy on a counta once i had cummenced with that habit, she figgerd twoodnt matter ifn we went three weeks without, witch we did that ever now n then but i never blamed her fer it. she sed she figgerd twood be good ifn we gut to whar the male orgasum wuznt the mane goal of sex n ifn twuz sumthin i had everday, mayhap twood keep thangs in perspecktive. i ast had i ever made her feel lack twuz jes my orgasum that matterd n she swore up n down it dint till i could tell sumhow that it kindly did.

the verr nex saturdy we wuz a'readin our books till shawn cum over to watch merchant of venus with us. i wuz glad he cum by since he had sum of theevil weed, witch i couldnt hardly git nun of my own. innywho, after he had left, a'givin me a purty thick lil joint on the way out, i broke up the joint to whar i could git a nuff to git hi four or five times usin a pipe n loaded up a lil. whenever i wuz a'doin that, emily sprized me by pullin out romance of lust n readin. corse, readin out loud to each other wus sumthin we had dun a lot, startin in west germany, so twuznt no sprize that she mite be readin out loud, but twuz a sprize whut she wuz a'readin. purty soon her pants n panties wuz lyin in a lil puddle on the livin room floor n we wuz each a'usin our tungs to turn tuthern on. i lost count of how minny times she had cum whenever she ast me did i wonta 'take her,' witch fer sum reason it really turnt her on to ast me to take her or even to do other thangs to her. she lacked all the wurds that ye aint allowd to say on tv. fack is, she wuz turnt on lack nobidy i had ever knowd by hearin wurds.

that led me to try ritin sumthin a lil racy to read to her, so i dun it. i rote one whar the two of us wuz on a beach n we had drunk sum wine till she had dun fell asleep. in the story i restrained her sum kinda way to whar she couldnt see nor git up neethur one n then i tuck off her bikini bottoms n told her bout how folks wuz reacktin to seein her displayd lack that. ye couldnt hardly find nuthin to make her hotter n purty soon i gut to whar i wood make em up n be whisperin em in her ear till she wood ast me to take her but to be verr still n read more. i wood read n sum kinda way them wurds wood be lack fangers a'touchin her jes rite till i could hear how her breathin n twitchin wuz reachin that point whar she meltin, all frum the sexy stroke of wurds.

now corse, lack as not the touch of wurds wood be accentchewaited by the touch of fangers, mine or hers, but the thang that gut me most bout this wuz how emily spent almos her entire life inside the covers of a book. she wuz the readinest person i ever met. so twuz natcherul how we wood read out loud to each other. whut i dint real eyes then n even tuck a good while longer to larn it wuz how she dint lack the worl outside of books. she dint lack the real worl, startin with her own bidy. no matter how i mite beg her to try wearin sumthin a lil differnt frum knee socks n flannel shirt, lease now n then whenever we wuz in bed, she woodnt doot.

fer one thang, lack ever woman i ever gut to know, she jes dint lack her bidy all that much. she figgerd her calves wuz too big, witch that cum frum a'wearin earth shoes fer years, lease cordin to how she tole it. she also thought her smell wuz too strong n her behind too flat n yew name it, she could find a flaw of sum kind. so she dint lack the real thang, dint lack dressin up. she could see how the look of such dress mite be purty a nuff to git yer injuns a'racin, but she figgerd in the real worl n with her bidy, twoodnt wurk. it dint matter nun how much i tole her i lacked her bidy, how nice her figger wuz, how purty her breasts n laigs n her n mouth. dint matter nun on a counta she had dun passd judgment on her ownself n innythang i tride to tell her made her wunder why i wood lie to her bout sumthin lack that lessn i wuz wontin to get sumthin. funny thang wuz, i wuz a'wontin to git sumthin, witch twuz the same thang she wuz a wontin to git, but she dint wont it ifn she thought i had dun lied to her bout her bidy. twood git us into a fuss n fite, lack as not.

but ifn she wuz readin us sum of them letters from penthouse or frum sum of the erotica we wuz gittin at the flea markets or even better, ifn i wuz whisperin a sexy tale in her ear, then twuznt lack twuz a lie she wuz a'hearin but lack a truth too good to be real. ye mite could thank this wuz a strange kinda way to live, but twuz a purrfeck match in lots of ways. she lacked stories n i lacked makin em up n ritin em down now n then.

so she lived mos of her life lack twuz a story in a book n ackted kindly lack a liberry lady who wonted ye to hush up sos folks could read. corse, that jes made thangs hotter whenever twood appear lack she dint have no innerest atall in sex n bit by bit i wood cunvints her till she wood finely start kissin me back a lil. but kisses n touchin is real n kin only go so far. ifn she wuz a'gone let herself git seduced, twood be a battle all the way, witch that made it all the sweeter whenever she give in. twuz a verr sexy moment whenever she dun it n twood generly cum with the same statement of surrender: 'why dont ye tell me a lil story?'

life of buddy don, chaptur 118: the sexy stroke of wurds

i had a cuzin on mamas side of the fambly name of doyle mize, witch he wuz the son of aint sary n her furst husbin mike who wuz the bruther of ant ruths husbin pappy. innywho, he wuz oldern me n had dun been in the marines jes lack mos of the cuzins on mamas side of the fambly. that mint we figgerd mos innythang he ever sed had to be true. bein as i wuz so much yunger than him, i dint talk much with him, but he needed sum hep drivin a car cross cuntry one time n i wuz waitin to git marrd to darlene, so i wuz the one to doot. the trip tuck us thru las vegas n we went into one of them casinos they gut. we went sos we could git a free drank before goin to bed only i dint drank nuthin but coke on a counta not wontin him to know how i wuz a lergic to alkyhol.

while we wuz a'waitin fer sumbidy to brang roun the dranks, he wuz pullin on one of them one armed bandit thangs, witch i put a quarter in my ownself n gut $32 back in quarters, so i quit n tuck em to git em changed to foldin money. whenever i cum back, thay wuz a woman thar brangin the dranks n i wuz sprized bout how she dint have a stitch of clothin on ceptn her shoes n a par of long gloves n a lil collar that dint have no shirt attached toot. i kindly looked tuther way n wuz sprized how it dint git no reackshun frum me. i hadnt hardly been roun no nekkid women up to then n seemed lack in my maginayshun they wood git me aroused jes by the fack of thar bein nekkid, but in this case, it seemd mosly sad.

we tuck our dranks n doyle finishd feedin his quarters to the machine till it finely turnt him a'loose n we went up to a free room he'd gut us. thay wuz two beds in thar n we each tuck one. rite as i wuz bout to fall asleep he sed, 'aint nuthin less sexy than a nekkid woman.' i ast him why wuz that n he sed that when ye thank bout whut turns ye on, tiz sumthin that happens whenever the woman still has her cloze on n yer trine to cunvints her she mite wonta let em be tuck off. 'tis the seduckshun thats sexy, not the nekkid body.'

thatn tuck me years of pondern on till i could see jes whut he meant. corse whenever twuz jes darlene n me, we wuz havin sex lack twuz homewurk that ye had to do ever nite, witch i dun rote bout that in that chaptur 80 name of sex. we dint play roun too much with no seduckshun. twuz lack innythang with darlene whar ye had to git thangs started n dun the quickest way ye could do, so lack as not, we wood both be nekkid befor innythang gut a'goin.

thangs with susannah wuz differnt in most ways ceptn one, witch she wood let ye know she wuz purty much either in the mood or not n ifn twuz the latter, thay wuznt nuthin ye could do to cunvints her otherwise, n ifn twuz the former, twuz jes a matter of gittin to whutever twuz she lacked, witch she wood be nekkid bout as quick as we deetermined she wuz in the mood. one time i suggested how it mite be fun ifn she wood leeve sum of her cloze on durin the ack, lack ifn she wuz to wear a skirt without panties or ifn she wuz to let me buy sumthin sexy fer her to wear in the bed. that suggestchun led to one of our wurst fuss n fites ever. she claimed i dint luv her -- the real her -- but wonted to turn her into sum kinda fantasy of sum kind. i made thangs wurser by astin why did we have to keep fantasies out of our sex life n she ackted lack ifn i had to ast the questchun, then twuz obveeyus i dint unnerstand the most basick thangs bout her.

taint lack she wuznt willin to do sum verr sexy thangs n sumtimes ye could only do em whenever she still had her cloze mosly on, lack how she luved to doot out in natchur sumwhar n then twood be a matter of bein reddy quick to put yer cloze back on ifn sumbidy wuz to cum by. we mite be out paddlin in her canoe n spot a nice place to park n git out fer a bite n purty quick after we had smoked one of her skinny lil joints after eatin, she mite cummence to gittin idees bout havin me 'take her up agin that tree,' witch twernt as sexy a thang as it sounds ritin it now. we wood git over by the tree n git to kissin n she mite pull her pants n panties bout halfway down n ast wood i git on my knees, witch twuznt the bes posishun to get at her fer much moren makin shore she wuz properly lubrickated. she dint eggspeck to have no orgasum in such circumstances on a counta how twuz almos impossibull fer her to let herself go a nuff fer that even ifn she wuz home in her own bed. but purty soon i wood be standin n have my pants undun n she wood turn n hug the tree n ast me to take her. i wood doot, tho twernt near as sexy as it sounds now on a counta how i wuz watchin out to make shore nobidy wuz cummin by n trine to keep my pants frum slippin down to the ground n fack is, i wuz manely trine to finish on a counta durin such a episode, mane thang she wonted wuz fer me to cum.

ye mite kin member a book that cum out in 1972 name of the joy of sex, witch the bes thang that cum frum that wuz a nuther book by nashunul lampoon name of the job of sex. thang is, even with sumbidy lack suze ye could git to whar twuz the job of sex on a counta how she lacked to judge it by how minny times had we had it durin a sartin spell. ifn we hadnt dun it durin a week, then she figgerd we needed to doot a lil exter the nex week. she figgerd twernt healthy ifn we wuznt gittin it a lease three times a week, witch that dont sound lack much, but whenever yer wurkin differnt skedules lack we wuz, twuz a bit trublesum to fit it all in. she wuz also verr quick to git a yeast infeckshun but that dint mean she wonted to change the frequency inny only the method. corse, bein as how she could only reach her climax one way, that bein the delicut applicayshun of my tung, thay wuz plenty of times when she dint even speck to cum close to no release fer her own self. but that dint matter nun on a counta how she could tell fer sartin whuther i had cum n that wuz purty much how she wuz a'measurin thangs.

as ye mite speck, thangs wuz cumpletely differnt with emily. she felt lack it ruint thangs to have sex jes to have sex. she dint wont it lessn bofus wuz rilly a'wontin it. she dint lack havin it in the dark n dint lack havin it too much in dint lack it to be too perdictabull. she also dint thank sex wuz bout everthang ye could do leadin up to 'the male orgasum' n then rollin over to take a nap. fack is, she dint thank that the male orgasum had that much to do with good sex, mayhap on a counta she rilly larnt bout good sex frum havin it with that german teechur name of laura bishop. way she saw thangs, the male orgasum made a good epilog fer the mane story of sex, witch twuz the minny orgasums a woman mite have while keepin her man rite on the edge till he figgerd he wuz a'fixin to burst, witch she lacked to make me hold back jes a lil longer till i the burstin wuz almos moren i could take.

she also bleeved qualty wuz more importunt thatn quanty. so it could be weeks betwixt sesshuns n then we mite do lil else durin a hole weekend. she never lacked to have it after dark on a counta how she wuz turnt on by bein seen whenever ye finely pulled her jeans n panties off her. corse, she dint thank twuz rite to dress sexy: she also still dressed purty much lack she mite still be sparkin with laura bishop, witch her uniform wuz a flannel shirt, a pair of blue levis, underwired bra, cotton high-waisted panties, knee socks n boots or sturdy shoes that she bought in the mens department.

twuznt lack she dint unnerstan the power of a sexy image. long bout that time, we gut to whar we wood haunt used bookstores n one time we wuz out at a lil flea market place out on alcoa hiway, witch virgil n mj luved visitin the big flea market they had out thar ever week. on the way home, we mite git em to stop by that other flea market, witch virgil lacked lookin thru old colleckshuns of nashunul geografic or scientific amurkin. innywho, on this particlar trip i wuz pickin up a copy of the norton antholgy of amurkin literchur fer a dime whenever she sum up n sed thay wuz sumthin i should see in a lil back room. turnt out they had em a colleckshun of erotick literchur n mens magazines back thar. she had dun picked out a book name of the romance of lust n ast did i wonta git sum of them penthouse magazines, witch she sed they had sum good letters. corse i had dun been a'knowin that on a counta i had a huge colleckshun of mens magazines that i gut rid of whenever me n suze had that fite when i ast her bout keepin sum cloze on durin sex that wuznt outdoors. innywho, they wuz lettin em go fer 50¢ a copy or three fer a buck or 20 fer a five spot, witch the mos amazin thang bout that wuz how emily figgerd we should go with the best deal even if $5 wuz a lot fer us. but we picked up a see leckshun of em along with romance of lust n a book name of arabella.

twuz one of them moments in a marrg whar thangs changes ferever even ifn ye dont real eyes tiz whuts a'happenin. we gut home n let virg n mj cum up on a counta how i wonted to git hi n dint have no smoke, but twuz purty clear that me n emily wuznt much in the mood fer visitin. whenever virgil suggested we git a six pack, mj sed twuz time to go n let the two luvbirds git to whut theys rilly wontin to do. it tuck a lil while fer virgil to git whut she wuz a'sayin n then he wonted to talk bout it, but she gut up n sed he could stay ifn he lacked, but she wonted to git sum beer n git home. wuz he cummin? corse we hadnt sed he could stay the nite on our couch n dint have no plan to offer it, but he had a habit of stayin purty often durin the week. emily sed she needed to study.

'besides, buddys gut about a millyun papers to grade' n she she splaind how i wuz jes acktin lack i wonted a visit when whut i needed wuz to git to wurk. besides, she sed, tellin a lie that cawt me by sprize, 'he dun tuck one of them columbas fer his asthma n he aint spozed to drank after em.' that clinched it fer virgil on a counta in them daze he dint much lack to drank alone.

the door slammed on em finely n bout as quick as ye could say jimmy crack corn, emily n me wuz a'lyin in the bed with her astin me wood i unclip her bra, witch i dun it n she pulled it out sum kinda way women have whar they kin git thar bra off without takin off thar shirt. then she had me cum up beside of her, pillers piled hi sos she could lean agin the hed of the bed n read. we gut to lookin thru sum of them penthouse magazines n commentin on witch of the women looked best n witch looked jes plane stupid n why twuz that men lacked to look at women a'wearin practickully nuthin n assumin odd posishuns that folks dint normally use fer nuthin, not even sex, in real life. but twuz a verr sexy thang to do n we wuz bof so turnt on thar purty soon she ast wood i hep her pull off her pants n panties, witch while i dun that, all but one of them buttons on her shirt cum undun. i wuz still dressd n whenever i started to take off my pants, she ast wood i leave em on fer a bit, so i dun it. she wuz sittin so that even tho she wuz near nekkid, ye couldnt see nuthin on a counta the shirt hung down twixt her legs n she had her knee socks pulled to her knee n that one button kep thangs to whar ye couldnt git much moren a peak now n agin.

now ye mite could thank they wuznt much in this worl sexier than havin emily thar dressd lack she wuz n all, but twuznt nuthin new. she never wore nuthin differnt n as we leafed thru sum of them pitchers, i tride to point out how sexy it made them women to be a'wearin thangs lack stockins n skirts n all, but that jes made her say they had the bodies fer it n whenever i sed she did too, she tuck it lack twuz a insult, so i gut to kissin on that speshul place on her neck n then to strokin her thighs n gittin close but not touchin whar she wuz wontin me to. she gut to whar she wuz lyin back jes waitin fer me to finely make contack, but i dint do moren cum close. this hole time i wuz acktin lack she wuz showin me sumthin with them magazines tht i hadnt seen but a cuple times befor, so i ast her bout them letters she had mentchunned. she picked one of em back up n gut to readin.

purty soon i couldnt resist the urge to touch her whar she wonted it n purty soon i put my tung whar my fangers had been n she kep a readin till she cummenced to havin her orgasums, witch twuz always the odd-numberd one that wuz tuff fer her. so it tuck four letters before i felt her breathin reach a sartin state n then them twitches cummenced n purty soon she had her furstn, witch bout as quick as she quit twitchin the nextn started. then she wonted me to take my pants off sos she could see but she dint wonta touch yet till she had read thru sevrul munths wurth, a gittin her orgasums two by two till she finely sed she wonted to watch me. i dint know eggzackly whut she meant by that, but turnt out she wonted me to take keer of my ownself, witch i dint wonta doot till she sed she wonted to see whuther twuz hot lack it sed in one of them stories n that gut me a'goin till we proovd how twuz hottern she eggspeckted. as ye mite speck with emily, twernt the end of the fun by inny means but jes the start.

long bout the middle of the nex week, after we had et our dinner n watched barney miller n she had washed the dishes, twuz time fer me to go to bed, witch she always stayed up latern i did. but i wuz back leaned up agin the hed of the bed trine to read george merediths book name of the egoist when the door opend n in she cum. turnt out she had been feelin a lil guilty durin the hole marrg on a counta she knew i needed sex more often than she did. twuz a lil part of how she dint see the plot of sex with a man to be about the rise n fall of his penis, i reckon. she cuddled up n i gut to wunderin whuther she wuz in the mood, witch twuz after dark n she dint seem lack that wuz whut she wonted. finely she ast did i wonta look at one of them magazines. i ast her did she but she sed twuznt bout whut she wonted. she wuz wundern whuther i wood lack to look at one. i sed i mite, so she brung the hole stack out frum the closet n set em on the floor by my side of the bed. she tuck one out, witch it had sum pitchers she knew i lacked a lot, n she gut to astin me bout each pitcher n then she ast could she watch me agin. i ackted a lil stupid by astin her whut did she wonta watch. she sed she wonted to see whuther twuz true that a man could give his ownself a orgasum bout as good as inny he could git frum sex. i tole her twuznt n all, but she had read it n wonted to see n ast me to give myself the bestn i could do. so i dun it n she wuz eggcited a nuff to touch her ownself while she wuz a'watchin till whenever twuz over i had dun my one n she had dun four. she sed twuz eggcitin to see how eggcited i gut.

after that, she wonted me to do the same thang ever nite. mayhap twuz a strategy on a counta once i had cummenced with that habit, she figgerd twoodnt matter ifn we went three weeks without, witch we did that ever now n then but i never blamed her fer it. she sed she figgerd twood be good ifn we gut to whar the male orgasum wuznt the mane goal of sex n ifn twuz sumthin i had everday, mayhap twood keep thangs in perspecktive. i ast had i ever made her feel lack twuz jes my orgasum that matterd n she swore up n down it dint till i could tell sumhow that it kindly did.

the verr nex saturdy we wuz a'readin our books till shawn cum over to watch merchant of venus with us. i wuz glad he cum by since he had sum of theevil weed, witch i couldnt hardly git nun of my own. innywho, after he had left, a'givin me a purty thick lil joint on the way out, i broke up the joint to whar i could git a nuff to git hi four or five times usin a pipe n loaded up a lil. whenever i wuz a'doin that, emily sprized me by pullin out romance of lust n readin. corse, readin out loud to each other wus sumthin we had dun a lot, startin in west germany, so twuznt no sprize that she mite be readin out loud, but twuz a sprize whut she wuz a'readin. purty soon her pants n panties wuz lyin in a lil puddle on the livin room floor n we wuz each a'usin our tungs to turn tuthern on. i lost count of how minny times she had cum whenever she ast me did i wonta 'take her,' witch fer sum reason it really turnt her on to ast me to take her or even to do other thangs to her. she lacked all the wurds that ye aint allowd to say on tv. fack is, she wuz turnt on lack nobidy i had ever knowd by hearin wurds.

that led me to try ritin sumthin a lil racy to read to her, so i dun it. i rote one whar the two of us wuz on a beach n we had drunk sum wine till she had dun fell asleep. in the story i restrained her sum kinda way to whar she couldnt see nor git up neethur one n then i tuck off her bikini bottoms n told her bout how folks wuz reacktin to seein her displayd lack that. ye couldnt hardly find nuthin to make her hotter n purty soon i gut to whar i wood make em up n be whisperin em in her ear till she wood ast me to take her but to be verr still n read more. i wood read n sum kinda way them wurds wood be lack fangers a'touchin her jes rite till i could hear how her breathin n twitchin wuz reachin that point whar she meltin, all frum the sexy stroke of wurds.

life of buddy don, chaptur 117: takin differnt paths

mayhap the mane reason me n virgil wuz bes friends wuz how we could share our big dreams with each other. purty much this cunsisted of talk n more talk, me bout the thangs i wuz plannin to rite, virg bout the inventchuns he wonted to patent sos he could change the worl n git rich in the process. in my case, the dream wood flip back n forth twixt musick n prose, but twuz always sumthin to do with creatin stories n wurds n such.

but virgil had the dreams of a real vishunairy. whenever we wuznt havin our arguement over whuther pi could be a priori or not, twuz a matter of his deescribin them thangs he wonted to invent.

twood be rong to pertend i could foller everthang he deescribed, but i could unnerstan how they wood cum out, jes not whut kinda wurks wood be inside makin em go, so to speak. his mane inventchun wuz a infinit gear ratio transmisshun, witch the idee here wuz sumthin lack the analog version of the digital gears. in sted of furst, secunt n thurd gears, ye wood have a slope of torque ye could ride, witch ye woodnt have deescreet gears but differnt gear ratios accordin to how fast ye wuz a'goin or how minny pounds ye wuz towin with yer injun. he wood make pitchers n rite lil pomes on em n fack is, they wuz beeyootiful to look at, even ifn twuz hard to figger how ye could git frum the pitcher to the transmisshun a'wurkin in a car.

sum of his other idees turnt out to be real thangs later on: he bleevd he could make a flat tv that a bidy could hang on the wall n watch, witch i always tole him thatn seemed lack a better inventchun to go after, but he sed twood require him a gittin lecktronick parts that wuz eggspensive n thay wood be a slew of false starts n all. so thay wuznt no way he could ever afford to try sumthin lack that.

he also had idees bout a saddelite radio netwurk that wood wurk everwhar in the worl a'usin communicayshuns saddelites. he figgerd twood change the worl n mayhap frum the radio netwurk thar could be a tv netwurk. n he figgerd them same saddelites could hep figger out whar thangs wuz. fer instunts, he had this noshun bout installin a lil chip in yer hed to keep up with whar ye wuz n give ye better math skills n such -- sorta lack a built in calculater that could do uther thangs lack make fone calls n store lil idees ye could record. he magined everbidy havin one n havin em all lanked up to whar innybidy could talk to innybidy else that wuz on thar list of folks they had dun give thar lecktronick signatchur, witch that wuz kindly lack a fone number.

he claimd thay wood cum a day when cumputers wuz shrunk down to mosly nuthin sos they could be everwhar in sted of jes in big ole cold rooms. he figgerd folks wood git em down to lil more than that chip they wood be installin in thar heds. long story short, he had im lodes of good idees n histry has dun showd whut a vishunairy he wuz.

so twuz only natcherul whenever we gut dun with our undergraduwait degrees he wood git im a job as a injuneer over in oak ridge in one of them lil places that heps out the nukular industry thar. twuz a differnt path than whut i tuck on a counta how i deecided to go to graduwait skool. thay wuz minny a time i envied him on a counta how it seemd lack he wuz out livin life n at the age of 29 i wuz still jes fixin to live it sumday.

but thay wuz a nuther way we tuck differnt paths n mayhap that partin of the ways wuz even more importunt to how thangs wood cum out in the long run. lease twuz sumthin that wood git me wurried bout my frien. whut im talkin bout now is how he turnt into a juicer n i turnt into a doper, ifn ye acksept the broad definishuns. twernt lack i woodnt drank nor lack he woodnt smoke theevil weed or drop acid or nuthin, but whenever it cum rite down toot, ifn he could have jes one thang to git hi on, twood be beer or wine or whisky, sumthin with alkyhol in it. ifn i had jes one thang, twood be theevil weed.

fer me the problem mite coulda been how i wuz so skinny. i still weighd only 125 pounds on a good day back then, so thay wuznt hardly no way fer me to hold my likker. twuz easy to bleev i wuz a lergick. part of that cum frum how i gut hi on theevil weed befor i dun much drankin so that whenever i tuck a drank, i did it lack i wuz smokin a joint, trine to git off on it. i dint care much bout the taste nor nuthin else, so whenever i wood drank, lack as not i wood later have a lil date with the toilet n whut folks joked wuz the teknicolor burp. i dint lack bein drunk, dint lack havin no hangover the nex day, dint lack makin a fool out of myself, dint lack how i couldnt play no piano much whenever i wuz drunk.

fer virgil thangs wuz differnt. fer one thang, his folks luved a drank bettern innythang. minnys the nite we wood stay up talkin till the sun cum up with his folks jes gittin drunkern drunker without ackshly fallin asleep. i never figgerd out how they could hold so much n twuznt lack they wuz trine to git me to drank since i wuz too yung n always tole em bout bein a lergick. but virgil gut to whar he could drank jes as good as his mama n daddy could n lil by lil it seemd lack he lacked bein a lil soused bettern innythang else.

i member one thursdy evenin in particklar, tho i could probly find plenty more lack em. twuz a misty day whar the weather wuz 'spittin rain' as daddy lacked to say. ye dint need no bumbershoot to walk roun, but ye wood git rite moist by the time ye had walked innywhar. i member how that day i wuz feelin good on a counta i wuz doin my two weeks of solo teachin n i had students ritin in class. i member thankin how teachin wuz the bes thang i had found fer wurk. durin that time of my life it seemd lack the biggest problem i had wuz findin wurk i lacked that wood pay the bills. it seemd lack one of lifes biggest puzzles.

innywho, i cum out of the class feelin grate n the furst thang i see is emily -- mein liebes mädchen -- a'waitin fer me. she wuz wearin the corderoy coat that cum with one of them soots mama bought me to take to west germany. her hair wuz pulld back into a pony tail, but the mist wuz a'makin it curl to whar lil tendrils wuz cummin a'loose. she wuz happy n ye could see that glow in her eye witch meant we wood be havin sum kinda add ventchur in the bed, ifn we made it that far. my hart wuz meltin by the warmth of her beeyooty n luv n happiness. as i walked along a'holdin her hand, i couldnt hep but thank bout how lucky i wuz. all my self-centerd cumplainin bout emily seemd so self-indulgent n rong. i figgerd at that moment, i had a better life than innybidy.

corse a magickull moment lack that caint last ferever n twuz ended all of a sudden as we begun climin the hill to the laurel marrd students apartments when we purt near run rite into virgil, who had dun been up to knock on our door. he sed he really needed to talk bout sum thangs.so much fer inny sexshul add ventchurs that evenin. emily dint fite it much on a counta thays always plenty a grad student kin do with a lil free time.

so we went up n i dropped my thangs off n out we went to git the mail n talk. turnt out he wuz upset bout how thangs wuz a'goin at wurk. turnt out he had innerduced a cuple of idees n gut em laffed at by near everbidy at his job n then a cuple they hadnt laffed at turnt out not to wurk. it dint matter that a cuple of his idees turnt out to wurk. he jes felt lack he wuz a miserbull failure.

'i need to grow thicker calluses,' he sed. i laffed. then he sed, 'i need to learn my job better. i hope im able to do it.'

we gut the mail n went back upstairs. we all talked a lil n smoked a lil, theevil weed fer virgil n me, marlboros fer emily. but purt soon, twernt a nuff fer virgil, so he ast could we go down to revco to git a quart of beer. we dun it n cum back up. i cunvints him to stay fer dinner n then fer the nite. we et n then gut a lil visit frum brew n liza, witch whenever virgil wuz splainin his wurk trubles to em it gut us all laffin n acktin silly. they hung round till bout 8, witch they knew twuz my bedtime, but virgil needed to talk sum more. me n emily tride to git him to read sumthin out loud with us -- twuz amung our favert pursoots -- but he wonted to take a walk. i dint wonta go on a counta how twuz my bedtime, but ifn yer inny kinda friend to sumbidy, ye gut to be thar when they need ye.

i wuz still trine to git virg to real eyes twernt no nite fer walkin, but rite then a fire alarm went off n we all went down. once we wuz down thar, twernt hardly possibull to say no bout goin futher. emily dint wont to be out on such a nite, so she went back up.

we lef n started walkin. we wood generly walk down to the expo site so he could talk bout how he wonted to have a display proovin his infinite gear ratio transmisshun. twuz deeserted then n a purty good place to walk, but he wonted to walk down to the srtip, witch thats also called cumberland avenue. so thats jes whut we dun. he wonted to go into a place to git a beer, so we stoppd at a fone booth n called emily to tell her whut we wuz a'doin. she sed thar had been a nuther false alarm, but she dint even go down fer it.

we went into a place name of 'the last lap,' witch twuz a typicull place whar students lacked to hangout n git drunk: thay wuz beer n loud musick n pin ball machines n four men fer ever woman. we found a lil back room whar the musick wuznt near so loud n gut to talkin bout whut botherd him mos, witch twuznt his job atall but lust. twuz the real reason -- long with the beer -- we wuz in that thar bar. corse thay wuznt no woman in thar lookin fer a marrd man n virgil dint have the skill of makin small talk that a woman wonts to here, so purty quick we wuz out n walkin home.

bout halfway thar, he sed he dint wonta go in yet. i tole him i had to sos i could be rested fer my fridy classes.

'friday?' he ast.

'tomorry.' i anserd.

'but i thought today wuz . . . on no. i told everyone at wurk that i expected to have finished my project by the end of the week. i could have sworn today wuz wendsdy.'

'taint. tiz thursdy. ifn ye really wonta git up a five, we orta go upnow.'

'you go ahead. i'll be in later.'

so i give him my key n went up n went to bed.

whenever i gut up nex mornin, i found the couch empty. i made sum coffee n started readin as i did mos ever mornin of my life. i kindly wunderd whut had happend to virgil, but i figgerd mayhap he had deecided to go on home.

long bout 5:30 i heard sumbidy trine to git in so i went to the door n looked outta the lil pin hole to see who twuz n thar wuz virgil stotes a trine to git that key into the lock. he nearly fell to the floor when i pulld the door open.

'you still awake,' he sed, his voice thick, his wurds slurrd.

i splained how i had dun slept the nite.

'what? what time is it?'

he checked the time.

'oh my god,' he sed, holdin his hed, 'the police are after me.'

'why?'

he splained how theyd dun found him asleep on the ground outside of the laurel marrd students apartments with his coat inside out. they wonted to take him to jail fer publick drunkenness, but after he showd em the key and sed 'fourteenth floor,' the let him cum up.

'whut did ye do las nite,' i ast him.

he wudnt ritely shore whut he had dun. twuz a cumplete blank. he stunk of alkyhol n couldnt hardly walk nor talk neethur one. fack is, he wuz a'fallin asleep on his feet.

so he lay down on the couch n wuz snorin by the time i had my shakespeare back open. i let im sleep till a lil after 7 n then gut him to wake up. made im take a shower n drank sum coffee n eat a lil brakefuss. he still stank of alkyhol, so i put a lil aftershave in his beerd. then he left.

i fretted over im fer a while. seemed lack thangs wuz takin a bad turn fer im.

then emily gut up n purty quick we wuz in a fuss n fite on a counta she sed twuz time fer virgil to face the fack he had a drankin problem. i dint wonta here it so i tride to deefend him by sayin twuz a aberayshun, a one time thang. she sed how twuz always a one time thang. twuz true of her daddy n i needed to acksept how twuz true of virgil.

we sorta made up by time we had to leeve n as i walked to class we gut to whar she went one way n i went a nuther. later on, we wood meet back up n take the same path home whar i wood fix dinner n we wood make luv at long last.

but in the divergents in the paths me n virgil wuz follerin, twuz a twain that woodnt never meet agin.

questchun of buddy don

how cum them christchuns in power dont have faith in the thangs they bleeves in? how kin they square whut thar a'doin n preechin with whut Jesus sed in Matthew, chapturs 6 & 7? (ifn ye wonta git the point, yer gonna half to read the hole thang, witch i know taint a habit of mos folks to read the ackshul bible since they gut preechurs n revernds n preests to splain it to em)

(i dun the boldin of sum lines to hep em stand out fer them that dont wonta read moren the lease they kin git away with.)

Matthew 6
1: Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2: Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3: But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
5: And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6: But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
7: But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
8: Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
9: After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10: Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11: Give us this day our daily bread.
12: And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13: And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
14: For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
16: Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
17: But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;
18: That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.
19: Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
22: The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
23: But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!
24: No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
25: Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26: Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27: Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28: And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
29: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30: Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
31: Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32: (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34: Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Matthew 7
1: Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2: For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3: And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4: Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5: Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
6: Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
7: Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
9: Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
10: Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
11: If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
12: Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
13: Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
14: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
15: Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16: Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
17: Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
18: A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19: Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
20: Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
21: Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
22: Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23: And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
24: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
25: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
26: And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
27: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
28: And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine:
29: For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

then thars that scene in gesthsemane, also frum Matthew, thisn frum chaptur 26:

48: Now he that betrayed him gave them a sign, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he: hold him fast.
49: And forthwith he came to Jesus, and said, Hail, master; and kissed him.
50: And Jesus said unto him, Friend, wherefore art thou come? Then came they, and laid hands on Jesus, and took him.
51: And, behold, one of them which were with Jesus stretched out his hand, and drew his sword, and struck a servant of the high priest's, and smote off his ear.
52: Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.
53: Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?

my apall gies fer astin ye to read the Bible to git my point. but ifn folks wunders 'whut wood Jesus do,' then the anser is not shock n awe, not bombin, not gittin revenge, not hatin yer enemies. i reckon thats jes too ole fashun a noshun fer the modern worl. but i caint hep but wunder whuther we woodnt be makin better progress at winnin harts n minds ifn we wuz usin the methods Jesus used in sted of the methods men dun cum up with.

fack is, i wish they wood leeve Jesus out of it whenever thar trine to justify whut thar a'doin.

struck dumbness of buddy don

fergiv my belly-achin bout blogger yersterdy. i hate whut they dun, but in this worl of woe, tiz a small thang. whuts wurryin me n gittin me to the point whar i feel struck dumb is how wurds is losin thar meanins.

mr rumsfeld sez he takes full responsibilty fer the acks in the pitchers frum abu graib, witch i used to thank i knew whut full responsibilty meant. now i reckon i gut to study it anew.

mr bush sez we gut to git after them evildoers, witch tiz odd that thays folks that isnt a mix of good n evil, but whut gits me to the point whar i caint figger whut wurds is spozed to mean is how mr inahuff of oklahoma sez hes disgusted by them humanitarian do-gooders. so we dont lack evildoers n dont lack do-gooders neethur one. who are we spozed to lack?

we used to wurry bout how sumbidy could try to trick folks with how they dint know whut the meanin of is wuz, but now we gut better wurds to puzzle us, lack whut the meanin of tortchur is or whut these wurds frum the geneva cunvenchun is spozed to mean:

Article 13

Prisoners of war must at all times be humanely treated. Any unlawful act or omission by the Detaining Power causing death or seriously endangering the health of a prisoner of war in its custody is prohibited, and will be regarded as a serious breach of the present Convention. In particular, no prisoner of war may be subjected to physical mutilation or to medical or scientific experiments of any kind which are not justified by the medical, dental or hospital treatment of the prisoner concerned and carried out in his interest.

Likewise, prisoners of war must at all times be protected, particularly against acts of violence or intimidation and against insults and public curiosity.

Measures of reprisal against prisoners of war are prohibited.

Article 14

Prisoners of war are entitled in all circumstances to respect for their persons and their honour. Women shall be treated with all the regard due to their sex and shall in all cases benefit by treatment as favourable as that granted to men. Prisoners of war shall retain the full civil capacity which they enjoyed at the time of their capture. The Detaining Power may not restrict the exercise, either within or without its own territory, of the rights such capacity confers except in so far as the captivity requires.

Article 15

The Power detaining prisoners of war shall be bound to provide free of charge for their maintenance and for the medical attention required by their state of health.

frum the awful to the mudane, thars this anser frum them blogger support folks, who wont us blogger-fools to know they are doin this all fer our own good:

Hi there,

The optional split-screen blogging interface preferred by some users has been replaced. Instead, one improved and streamlined interface is available to all Blogger users. Our decision to make this change was a response to user feedback and testing.

The new editing environment is a better workflow for the majority of our users. Additionally, supporting one default interface as well as one optional interface to Blogger was a strain on resources not to mention potentially confusing.

That being said, we have noted so far the major features of the old split screen blogging environment that people miss most. Fans of the two-pane layout were fond of the context it lent to the workflow; you could read your old posts while composing a new one. They also liked the calendar interface for browsing older posts.

Please keep in mind that this is the first iteration of the new interface. We continue to gather feedback and monitor response to this upgrade. Innovation and the implementation of new features is ongoing. Helping you create and browse your posts is a high priority and we will continue to enhance the Blogger editing environment for a good experience.

Sincerely,
Blogger Support

whuts really gut me riled up mos is how i gut thangs to rite but let myself git upset over blogger bs, witch tiz a sine of jes how much i still aint born all growd up n have a long way to go.

disgust of buddy don: blogger

ode to a ruint blogger.com

how do i hate thee? lemme count them ways
i hate the new innerface whar ye caint see yer hole post
i hate the way the new innerface dont wurk with blogweaver
i hate the way ye caint cuntrol yer fonts no more
i hate how i have to use that 'cunvert returns' funckshun, witch that makes double the space twixt paragrafs in all the posts i made befor they forced thar new innerface on us, but ifn i dont use em, then i dont git no returns atall in the posts i make a'using the new innerface
i hate not havin no numberin nor bullets funckshun no more
i hate how i caint look at my wurk in html source no more, witch they claim this is 'geek chic'?
i hate the way blogger -- google? -- sprung this on us with no warnin
i hate the way it has kep oldcatman frum postin agin
i hate the way whenever ye try to put in a lank to sumthin, ye caint see whut its a'gone look lack till tiz dun
i hate the cumplete n utter lack of cuncern fer custumers
i hate the custumer servus, witch i rote em a long list of my cumplaints astin that they give ansers, witch they gut it set sos ye dont have nuthin in yer sent items whenever ye send em mail usin thar innerface, witch that wuz a miss take on my part on a counta i shoulda dun knowd better
i hate the kinda anser i gut frum 'blogger support' (<==ox ye moron alert): Thanks for submitting your Wish List item. We greatly value feedback from our users and review every submission.
i hate the way the dont even read my mail n then ack lack my list of cumplaints bout how they handled this n bout how they remoovd so much funcshunalty is jes a wish list! my wish list wood be that they undo the damage they dun dun n fer that matter i wish they wood quit crowin bout how this is spozed to be better, witch its much wurser

secunt most of all i hate how i have to go thru nine miles of bad rode to git offa blogger n onto sumthin else -- innythang wood do whar i kin open up on blank white screen n i mean the hole screen, not jes sum itty bitty lil window that sumbidy over at blogger thanks is 'geek chic' n start ritin n put in lanks n see how thangs is gonna look whenever i git dun, witch i wuz able to do all that befor they made the horrbull changes that wuz spozed to be improovments, witch theys the kinda improovemnts that makes everthang wurse

mos of all i hate how they dont see to care atall that im fixin to quit bein thar custumer.

annoyances of buddy don: bloggers new interface

twuz so easy to post befor blogger gut the idee to change everthang. now i caint see the fonts im a'usin nor the styles nor nuthin else. they dint warn us atall. we cum in this mornin n thays a new blogger dashboard n they dun remooved the options a bidy gut to use with blogweaver. do i git my blogweaver money back? they dun trickd it out sos ye caint cuntrol yer font lack ye used to could n i half to say tiz mos annoyin. i wuz about to rite a nuther chaptur on life n pinions of buddy don, hillbilly, but in sted, i half to deal with a new interface that i caint cuntrol.

thar a'callin it a improovment, but twernt necessary n it made everthang wurser than twuz, lease till i figger out how to git the same funcshunalty back, ifn i kin.

fergive the bellyachin, but tiz a rude n unwelcom surprize.

tecknickel difficulties of buddy don:
blogger trubles

im makin a quick note to let ye know i wish i could do more today, but evertime i try to git blogger to ack rite, i start gittin a bunch of errs. i dont wont whut happend to oldcatman to happen to me, witch he had to start im a hole new blog on a counta how bad his blogger trubles gut.

besides, all the news is depressin, witch thats why im trine to ignore it n put my tenchun on writin life n pinions of buddy don, hillbilly.

life of buddy don, chaptur 116:
the wurry wart

ye find yer good times n bad times in mos innythangs a human kin git hisself tied up in. tiz true of war n peace n vacayshuns n wurk n skool n marrg. tiz also a bad habit in us to put more time n attenchun on whuts rong than on whuts rite. tiz even wurse ifn ye lack to rite n wurst of all ifn ye lack to rite poetry. lucky fer emily, i had dun give up on poetry as my mane form by then. twuz novels i wonted to rite.

but that dont mean i dint git riled up bout the thangs i dint lack bout emily n nuthin gut me riled moren the way she lacked to wurry bout mos everthang, speshly thangs that wuz about to happen or that even thangs that jes mite happen. once we had settled in to them laurel marrd students apartments, all them folk i knew frum the farm, including bruthers n sisters, wonted to cum over fer a visit. twood start with a fone call warnin that sumbidy wuz on thar way n no sooner did i git the fone hung up till emily wuz upset, sumtimes even crine.

thay wuz a nite when brew n liza called to say they wonted to cum fer a visit on a counta they wuz wontin to see that peter sellers movie name of 'being there.' thay wuz showin it in the theater over at the student center n they wonted to stop by n git hi befor watchin the movie. corse, we wuz invited to join em n brew wood even pay fer us to git in on a counta how we never had no money.

bout as quick as i gut off the fone the cumplaints wuz razed. emily wonted me to know how she resented my family always wontin to cum over fer visits. she dint have no bruthers nor sisters n couldnt figger out whu we wonted to see each other so often. she wuz gittin sick of how brew n liza wood cum fer a visit bout once a week. corse eli cum by ever now n agin, generly to hep us git grossries. then thar wuz maisie a wontin me to take walks with her sos she could talk bout thangs she dint wont nobidy else to here bout. thang is, maisie n emily gut along lack they wuz sisters thar ownself n twuz clear maisie wonted a frien besides gretchen, witch the problem she had with gretchen wuz how she wuz always wontin to git hi. thonly ones that lef us alone wuz mamma n daddy.

innywho, i gut off the fone n tole emily bout how brew n liza wuz on the way n we wuz a'gone to see that movie, n furst thang she did wus ast couldnt i see how my bruthers n sisters wuz ruinin our life? i tole her i dint see it thataway n we wuz off to the fuss n fite leadin to tears. i gut to whar i felt a lil gilty bout how her tears dint do innythang to me no more. whenever i furst herd her crine, it tugged at my hart n made me wonta to innythang to make her feel better. after a cuple years of it, it dint seem to do nuthin to me atall, n i gut to wundern ifn i had grown calluses on my own hart.

whuts strangest bout this wuz how once whoever wuz a'cummin over gut thar, she lacked the cumpny n kep em thar past when i wonted to go to bed. twuz also strange how she cumplaind bout not havin inny close friends but dint wonta be friends with maisie or liza or mj or innybidy else that wuz cummin over reglar, even tho twuz clear they wood all lack to be her friend.

on this particlar evenin, liza n brew cum in with a bottle of wine, witch emily lacked to drank wine but dint care much fer theevil weed, lease not then. we opend the wine n lit a joint n purty soon we wuz in the middle of a grate conversayshun bout thangs lack whuther twuz possibull fer a man to be happy as a 'house husbin' n the tradishunull places of men n women in society n the home n such lack. fack is, the conversayshun wuz goin so good that whenever twuz time to go to the movie, we talkd bout whuther we should go or jes open a nuther bottle of wine.

thang wuz, whenever they show a movie at the student center, tiz jes fer the one time, so ifn ye miss it, ye wont git to see it in knoxvull inny time soon, so we deecided to go. lease, three of us did. emily dint wonta go on a counta she had dun read the book n dint bleev the movie wood be able to touch it n she had always hated the pink panther movies. corse the movie wuz n is a classick, one of the funniest thangs i ever gut to see, made me laff so hard i had a lil asthma n tuck one of them columba tablets.

twuz all too tipicull of how emily lived life. she wood git afraid that sumthin wuz a'gone turn out bad n lessn thay wuz sumbidy lack me pushin her, she wood jes give it up in sted of takin the risk that thangs wood go bad.

on saturdy we gut into a lil fuss n fite whenever virgil calld to say he wuz a'cummin over fer a visit. twooda turnt bad ceptn i reminded her how eli had crashed his car n woodnt be able to take us out to the krogers on chapman hiway till twuz fixed n we needed to stock up on staples -- coffee, sugar, corn meal, flour, crisco, canned goods, tea, yew name it. so he cum over n we talked a lil while before leevin emily to grade papers sos we could shop. he dint wonta go out chapman hiway, so we went to the cas walkers on clinton hiway near merchants rode.

we had a grate time, smokin a joint he had gut frum susannah n talkin bout his new job, witch he gut a job at one of the lil tech shops thar in oak ridge, n corse, bout the questchun of whut pi wuz a priori. we also gut a cuple quarts of beer n whenever we gut home, we drunk em along with emily n ye mite could say, a good time wuz had by all.

but that dint keep a nuther fuss n fite frum flarin up the nex day whenever eli n brew called to ast wuz we still plannin on watchin that movie 'nosferatu' by werner herzog. i tole em we wuz, witch we had been a'lookin ford toot fer the longest. soons i gut offn the fone, i could see the wurry lines a'gathern lack storm clouds in the lil space twixt her eye brows. thisn put here in a awkwurd spot on a counta how she knew we wuz plannin on seein it our ownself ceptn we wuz a'thankin bout seein the early show, not the one at 9:30. twuz a odd kind thang on a counta she wuz wontin to go to the later show but dint wonta make me stay up so late. twuz almos lack havin a argument with daddy whar he makes ye switch yer sides. twuznt that importunt to me, so i sed i wood call back n git em to cum to the early show, witch they couldnt make it in time fer that. fack is, liza dint wonta go n dint see why brew couldnt stay home with her so brew figgerd he wood lend his car to eli. i invited eli to stay the nite on our couch.

that gut thangs a'goin. emily wuz rite bout as mad as a nest of hornets. couldnt i see how my fambly wuz a'ruinin our life? couldnt i see how rong twuz fer me to be deevotin all my spare time to my fambly? she wonted to move far away, whar we woodnt have that problem no more. as ye mite magine, i had ansers fer everthang only they wuznt the kinda ansers that solved nuthin. purty soon thay wuznt nuthin lef to say. bof sides knew how thangs tood n we dint see no anser.

whut made it even stranger wuz how much emily enjoyed eli's visit. he wuz in good spirits, hadnt been drankin or abusin his medicine, n had the gift of gab that evenin, carryin on bout god n whuts really importunt in life. i member watchin em talk n thankin how twuz sumthin they dint need me thar fer, but ye woodnt a thought nuthin lack that whenever eli n brew wuz plannin on comin. the movie wuz ok n afterds we all went to bed. eli wuz up n gone before i went to wake emily.

i made brakefuss n we went over to campus, she to the tower, i to smokeys palace whar i gut a nuther cup of coffee n tride to do a lil ritin. but i couldnt git nuthin a'goin on a counta how i wuz stil agitated over how much we wuz fussin n fitin. whut botherd me mos wuz how twuz about nuthin. whut botherd emily wusnt nuthin that ackshly happend. twuz the anticipayshun.

fer a wurrier n pessimist, witch emily wuz bof, seems lack the anticipayshun of a future event is even wurser than the ackshull event. me n emily had minny more fuss n fites over thangs that mite happen than inny other topick. emily shed tears at lease once a munth frum the time i furst met her. whenever we wuz in frankfurt, our wurst fites cum on the day we wuz paid. twernt lack we dint have a nuff to pay all the bills n have sum left over. but no matter whut, we never had a nuff left over to whar she dint git in a cunipshun fit over it.

the point of all this is how a person lack emily -- n probly inny person alive -- could save tharself a lot of grief n energy by larnin how not to wurry. i tride to cunvints emily bout this, but twernt possibull. in sted of her seein the point i wuz a'trine to make, she wood git riled up at me fer not wurryin, acktin lack my refusal to wurry showd sum kinda moral lapse in me or a deeliberut attempt on my part to make her miserabull. she wood always say, 'sumbidy has to wurry!'

that wood git me a'goin to whar i wood ast thangs lack why borry truble? why wurry bout sumthin when ye caint do nuthin to influents how its lackly to cum out? then i wood anser my own questchuns, wastin my own breath, bout how we should thank on a problem that wuz on the horizon jes long a nuff to figger out whut we could possibly do bout it n whut we should do bout it n finely whut we wuz a'gonna do bout it. she hates fer me to say sumthin lack that, speshly since she knows it means im bout to lite into my argument bout wurry, witch thatn goes lack this: (1) why wurry bout any future event's outcome? (2) ye should do whutever ye can bout it, then move on to other matters on a counta how (3) wurryin bout how sumthins a'gone cum out is cumpletely illogicull since (4) ifn thangs is a'gone cum out good, thay aint nuthin to wurry bout n (5) ifn thangs is a'gone cum out bad, all the wurryin in the worl wont change it but (6) all that wurryin will jes tucker ye out to the point whar ye caint do as much as ye mite to take care of whutever went rong.

corse emily had a anser to everthang (lack i purty much did) n this wuznt no eggcepshun. 'i dont choose to git wurried inny moren i choose to be happy or sad or deepressd or horny.' purty soon we git into the nex fuss n fite that cums frum thisn, witch thats how i claimd ye could have cuntrol over yer attitudes n emoshuns to a grate eggstint, witch she wood anser that she couldnt hep but git angry n upset evertime i sed such a thang on a counta it seemd lack i wuz accusin her of gittin upset on purpose.

bout this time i wood kiss her rite twixt her eyes, whar all that wurryin wuz a'diggin lil lines that wood turn into deepern deeper trenches. n she wood say stop but i woodnt doot. in sted, i wood kiss her on her ear lobe n then in that speshul lil place on her neck n she wood say she wuz wurried she wuz a'gone lose cuntrol n i wood have unclipped her bra by then n i wood ast so whut? n she wood turn to anser but i wood kiss her n purty soon she wuz puttin out her cigret n sayin how she luved me so much it wurried her.

but i woodnt let that wurry me nun. in sted, i wood do my bes not to laff.

life of buddy don, chaptur 115:
memries fadin in n out

whut i dint know whenever i wuz the last student to make it to that literary research class wuz that the folks in that class wuz my peers on a counta how ever new student in the graduate skool of english had to take that verr same class. after that, everbidy tuck whutever they wonted as long as twood hep em git thar degree. i member verr well walkin into that class n wunderin why dint nobidy take tuther seat at the end of the table, witch i had dun larnt frum my years in the corprut worl how it makes a differnts whar yer a'sittin whenever thays a meetin a'goin on. twuz a sea of faces, all of em yungern i wuz. fer weeks, i couldnt tell ye the differnts twixt bud, who i dint lack atall, n inny of tutherns.

by the time the class wuz over, i knew the names of everbidy n could tell ye a lil about em. twuz as if they had dun cum into focus. one of em, a woman name of brenda who lived out in west knoxvull, had her a party whar everbidy in the class wuz invited to cum. by that time, i could put names to bout half the folks in the class. by the time i wuz dun with grad skool, i knew em ever one n figgerd thay wuznt no way i wood ever fergit em. but i caint tell ye the names of moren half of em to this day, n sum of em i git cunfused. tiz as if thays too far away in time fer me to git a good focus on em.

but thay wuz a few that stood out. corse thay wuz bud, witch he kep me n emily bord fer the longest durin that party on a counta how he figgerd we wuz a'hangin on ever wurd he had to say since we dint say nuthin back. twuznt lack i could blame nobidy sides my ownself. whenever he ast did i wonta go out to his car n burn sumthin, i anserd yes quickern i could ritely tell ye who wuz a'astin. twuz one of them situwayshuns i hate to add mitt i hepped brang about: me n bud wuz passin the joint while emily n n his wife virginia smoked marlboros n sipped on thar beer. virginia wuz wurkin n dressed the part with a business soot n lots of makeup, witch that rite thar rubbed emily the rong way. but she had no tolerunts fer bud atall.

we had rid over to the party with shawn, tuther feller frum mississippi, who i cant member his name so im a'callin him shawn. by time we wuz reddy to go, he wuz so drunk he couldnt walk strate. twuz a ruff moment whenever he wonted to drive. he dint wonta add mitt he wuz too drunk to git behind the wheel, so i gut to astin him could i drive on a counta i wonted to see whut his car wuz lack, witch twuz one of them lil pinto thangs n he could barly fit into the back seat, witch twuz ok on a counta he wuz asleep bout as quick as i sussed out how twuznt a stick shift. we tuck him home with us n fixed him up on the couch. thang wuz, he wuz never real cumfterbull with us ever agin after that.

i wisht i could member them otherns in that class. seemd lack thay wuz rite importunt to me at one time. thay wuz the one name of rosemary who everbidy sed wuz the spittin image of yer southern belle only fer my taste she wuz a lil too plump. but seemed lack mos ever uther feller in the class wuz after a chants with her. i thank bud wooda tuck a chants ifn rosemary hadnta made friends with virginia. rosemary turnt out to be one of them muthern types of folk n she always seemd to know whut everbidy wuz a'doin to whar folks wood call her up to find out who wuz free on a given evenin or even how to git in touch with em.

thay wuz a nuther woman who seemd lack she wurked on the same pome the entire two years of grad skool. i cant member her name, but she had the thickest glasses ye ever saw with a skinny face n long bangs that practicully coverd up her eyes. she wuz skinny all over but in a sexy way n lots of the fellers in the class talked bout her breasts on a counta how they seemed to be set off nice by her skinny frame. but i cant hardly git a pitcher of her that dont suggest that shaggy dog in the disney movie. but i aint never fergut a sangle line of the pome she wuz a'trine to git jes rite: the click n clack of the railroad track as the train rolls by the munth of july. whenever i wuz a'gittin the group a'goin, i ast her did she wonta cum. she sed she did n splained how she wood jes as soon as she gut her pome jes rite. we never saw her at group even once. far as i know, that pome never gut writ nor nuthin else she planned to rite neethur.

thay wuz a nuther woman who wuz a communist n bleeved the revolushun wuz about to happen. made me recolleck lots of thangs i had dun herd over in west germany, so i kndly knew how to talk her talk. she lacked that n wood go on n on bout how thangs could be better in the usa. whnever i hear sumbidy talkin thataway, i generly dont take no offents toot on a counta (1) tiz true that our cuntry, lack inny of em, kin git better n (2) ye dont hardly larn nuthin ifn yer trine to make yer own points. but i could only keep quite so long n to this day, i member one main thang, witch twuz wuz how we gut in a argument when i tole her brezhnev luved cadillacs n had im a fleet of em. twuz a friendly argument, witch ye could even thank she wuz trine to flirt with me a'usin it, till i proovd my side of it n seem lack she dint hardly trust me no more after that.

thay wuz a feller in the class who wuz so earnest n serious twuz scary. he had the kinda face that looks lack tiz in the middle of a blush n ye dint have to do much of nuthin to git the full blush a'goin. he wuz purty relijus n tride to put 'context' to everthang we wuz a'studyin, witch that led him to sum difficult moments on a counta he dint always git his reglar research dun. he wood mentchun the wheel of fortune, fer instunts, n try to splain how ifn ye wuz in the center, ye wuznt stuck with the rise n fall of cruel fortune n then he wood splain how christ wuz the center. fer sum reason, this brung out the cruel in folks n thay wood see could they make him blush moren he wuz alreddy a'doin. he wuz marrd to a verr fat woman even tho he wuz skinny as a rail. i caint member much else bout him ceptn tords the end of our secunt year, gossip went roun bout how he had dun left his wife to take up with a man he had met at a gay bar. i spotted his name minny years later in the obitchuwaries of the knoxvull news-sentinel. he had died of aids down in new orleans, whar he had organized a gay mens health center n run marches n dun as much as he could do to fite the illness. whenever i red that, i knowd fer shore knew i hadnt never rilly knowd him atall.

thang wuz, ye dint have to hardly git to know nun of yer classmates on a counta how thangs wuz run. ye dint have much time fer nuthin ceptn studyin n gittin to classes n gittin reddy to take tests n ritin papers n gradin the papers frum the class ye wuz a'team teachin. i dont reckon i wooda gut to know much of innybidy ifn twernt fer theevil weed.

as ye mite member, we had dun razed up a crop or two out at the farm, so ye mite could thank i wood be able to git plenty thar, but by the third year, everbidy in the nayborhood wuz onto how to pick out theevil weed frum a stand of reglar weeds. so bout as quick as ye could git sumthin wurthy of settin on fire, sumbidy wood cum long n harvest it in the nite. ye mite also member how randy fox owed me lots of money frum our time buyin n sellin theevil weed sum years before, but he wuz still stuck in a endless deevorce frum becky n he had dun had two more operayshuns on his laig to put in a new plastic femur n hip ball n socket. he wuz rite generus whenever he cum by, leavin me a lil chunk of hash or a lil bag of sum buds, but i dint see him much.

so i dint have no good conneckshun, witch as i menchuned once alreddy, tiz how i gut to be friends with bud rankin. he mite could bore ye to death with his talk, all of it nuthin but bullshit of the most obveeus kind, but he wuz never without a way to git hi. i felt purty awful bout it on a counta how twuz obveeus he wonted to make friends n i wood do my damndest to git him to leeve me alone. i wuz ritin ugly thangs bout him in my diary. but i wood put up with a lot fer the chants to git hi.

i caint member a sangle line of spencer. caint member the names of over half the class i cum in with. caint member much bout my teechurs, witch they wuz heroes to me at the time, but whenever i look at a list of thar names, i caint hardly put faces to em. corse i kin member my major perfesser, a kindly man name of dr alexander who studied shakespeare. n i kin member verr well tuther shakespeare perfesser, a feller frum england name of dr andrews, but the reason fer that is how he wuz thonly one who dint give me the grade i wonted, witch i spekted to git 'a' marks on everthang n he give me a b plus two times, furst quarter i wuz thar n lastn.

thang is, that class wuz lack a blurry foto whenever i walked in. by time i wuz dun with two years, that foto had dun cum alive n ever face in it had a name n a story. i knew em all purty well at one time. but the years has dun clouded my eyes to whar i caint hardly make out a face in that class n aint nuthin i kin do now to brang em back in focus.

readin of buddy don:
list stole frum strate white guy, witch he gut it frum minnesota diva her ownself

here tiz. the idee is to bold inny books ye dun read.

Beowulf
Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart
Agee, James - A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane - Pride and Prejudice
Baldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March
Bront, Charlotte - Jane Eyre
Bront, Emily - Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert - The Stranger
Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard
Chopin, Kate - The Awakening
Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness
Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans
Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage
Dante - Inferno
de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe
Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment
Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays
Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby
Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust
Golding, William - Lord of the Flies
Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Hawthorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter
Heller, Joseph - Catch 22
Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms
Homer - The Iliad
Homer - The Odyssey
Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House
James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird
Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt
London, Jack - The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener
Melville, Herman - Moby Dick
Miller, Arthur - The Crucible
Morrison, Toni - Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George - Animal Farm
Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye
Shakespeare, William - Hamlet
Shakespeare, William - Macbeth
Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet
Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein
Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles - Antigone
Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath
Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island
Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David - Walden
Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Voltaire - Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice - The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie
Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard - Native Son

plans of buddy don:
misshun accomplishd

whar

 

whut

 

gym before

 

gym after

 

 

hall before

 

 hall after

 

 

reward

 

plans of buddy don:
volunteerin

over whar i wurk sumbidy cum around astin wuz they inny volunteers n i add mitted i wuz a proud volunteer frum tennessee so they sed twuz good on a counta they needed folks to hep out over in man hattan with a lil sprang spiffin. i tole em how miz bd is a volunteer frum tennessee jes the same n they sed they wood be happy to let her join in. so me n miz bd is a'gone go on over n hep paint a middle skool. tiz sumthin the hole citys a'doin today, witch tiz the kinda thang that makes the big city seem kindly lack a lil town.