pinions of buddy don: reality strikes back!

thays been a war on the partisan tricks bein used by reality. tiz becummin a real problem on a counta how ye kin beat reality back long a nuff to trick folks into votin yer way, but that jes seems to rile up reality till it deecides its gut to have a lil revenge.

fer instunts, we wuz tole that thars no way to know whuther global warmin in real without more study, even tho thays been studies a'plenty up to now, but lack i jes sed, reality has been foolishly partisan, cunsistently cummin out agin them that thanks we orta slow down on how much carbon die-oxide we putt into the atmosfear.

now we are bein tole that global warmin caint be proovd to have innythang to do with them hurricanes. how could it possibly cuntribute? all it duz is raze the temperchur of the water a few lil deegrees, but duz that mean it has really caused them hurricanes to git wurser? is that realitys point?

Yet these same scientists - in research reports appearing in reputable journals like Science, Nature and The Journal of Climate - have detected increases of up to 70 percent in hurricane intensity, a measure that combines the power of a hurricane and its duration.

is thay sum dots we gut to conneck?

then thays 'heckuva-job' brownie trine to take a nuther cheap shot at reality, claimin that his biggest miss take wuz not gittin the dysfunkshunull gummint of new awlins n louisianan to wurk together better. but reality fought back a'usin its main weppon, facks, first them that brownie dint know:

Brown displayed the command of facts that made him famous over the past month. He did not know how much FEMA had spent on communications, guessing, "a boatload of money." He had to ask members of his entourage how many MREs were in a trailer load. "I don't have a clue how many [people] were truly in the Superdome," he volunteered at one point. Asked whether he is still a federal employee, Brown said: "You know, I don't know." (He is.)

then, once reality had im down fer the count, twuz able to pump sum truth out of the fackless feller:

One hour and 36 minutes passed before Brown acknowledged that "FEMA has a logistics problem." Gradually, Brown's admissions grew more damaging.

Money for "catastrophic planning" for a New Orleans hurricane "was removed by the Department of Homeland Security," he said. Brown said he should have asked for President Bush's help earlier, and should have urged the military to come in sooner. He said it was a mistake that FEMA had no contingency contract for recovering dead bodies.

Rep. Henry Bonilla (R-Tex.) elicited the biggest confession. "One of my frustrations over the past three years has been the emaciation of FEMA," Brown told him. Speaking of dwindling funds and a "brain drain," Brown said he struggled just "to keep that place together" and asserted that he "predicted privately for several years that we were going to reach this point."

As the questioning progressed, Brown turned his fury on the administration. "I probably should have just resigned my post earlier and gone public with some of these things," he told Granger.

ye mite could thank reality wood be pleasd as punch with that lil victry, but taint so. nex thang ye know, reality is seepin into the buyin patterns of them that lacks to drive cars! as ye know, thonly reason them car cumpnies makes suvs is that folks wonts em (thats why ye dont never half to see no addvert-eyes-mint fer em since they sell thayself ... i bet reality hates that lie!) so magin thar shock whenever this day cum:

John Mathews of Universal Toyota in San Antonio has witnessed the day that auto industry executives in Detroit said would never come.

"We are seeing people who are driving $40,000 Suburbans trading them in on $15,000 Corollas," said Mathews, who manages a dealership in a state where big trucks and sport-utility vehicles rule the roads. "The last 30 days have been unlike anything I've ever seen in the automotive industry."

Even in hurricane-addled Alabama, people pouring in from Louisiana and Mississippi are popping into Treadwell Honda looking for replacements for destroyed cars. Harold Wesley, a salesman, in the midst of fielding calls last week, said he can't keep Civics on the lot -- new or used. "As soon as the new ones get here, they are sold." Wesley said the manufacturer is allocating dealers a few at a time to be fair. Treadwell's last shipment of 12 sold in three days, he said.

thar even havin truble gittin folks to bleeve that reality is too cumplex to be here without a intelligent deesigner even tho they dont take up the cumplexity of the intelligent deesigner n whut intelligent deesign wuz needed to make him/her/it! mayhap ifn ye call them that bleeves in reality n in larnin bout it usin the scientifick method, mayhap ifn ye call em names thar partnership with reality mite fail em:

HARRISBURG, Pa., Sept. 27 -- Parents in federal court Tuesday described an atmosphere of intimidation and anger when school board members in Dover, Pa., last year decided to require high school biology teachers to read a statement that casts doubt on the theory of evolution.

Bryan Rehm, a parent who also taught physics at Dover High School, testified of continual pressure from board members not to "teach monkeys-to-man evolution." He said that the board required teachers to watch a film critical of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution and that board members talked openly of teaching creationism alongside evolution.

The atmosphere became so heated that neighbors began to call him an "atheist with . . . a lot of words added on to it," Rehm said. He said that "it was turning into a real zoo" and that students were quarreling about evolution.

fer that matter, ye mite half to wunder whut bizness reality has in stickin its nose into the stories we dun herd bout how torchur wuz jes a bunch of bad apples with this kinda thang frum a letter writ by a feller name of captain fishback to john mccain frum todays washington post that wuz over thar cunfruntin reality on the frunt lines:

I am a graduate of West Point currently serving as a Captain in the U.S. Army Infantry. I have served two combat tours with the 82nd Airborne Division, one each in Afghanistan and Iraq. While I served in the Global War on Terror, the actions and statements of my leadership led me to believe that United States policy did not require application of the Geneva Conventions in Afghanistan or Iraq. On 7 May 2004, Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld's testimony that the United States followed the Geneva Conventions in Iraq and the "spirit" of the Geneva Conventions in Afghanistan prompted me to begin an approach for clarification. For 17 months, I tried to determine what specific standards governed the treatment of detainees by consulting my chain of command through battalion commander, multiple JAG lawyers, multiple Democrat and Republican Congressmen and their aides, the Ft. Bragg Inspector General's office, multiple government reports, the Secretary of the Army and multiple general officers, a professional interrogator at Guantanamo Bay, the deputy head of the department at West Point responsible for teaching Just War Theory and Law of Land Warfare, and numerous peers who I regard as honorable and intelligent men.

Instead of resolving my concerns, the approach for clarification process leaves me deeply troubled. Despite my efforts, I have been unable to get clear, consistent answers from my leadership about what constitutes lawful and humane treatment of detainees. I am certain that this confusion contributed to a wide range of abuses including death threats, beatings, broken bones, murder, exposure to elements, extreme forced physical exertion, hostage-taking, stripping, sleep deprivation and degrading treatment. I and troops under my command witnessed some of these abuses in both Afghanistan and Iraq.

turns out reality dont even lack ye trine to outsource safety inspeckshuns n repairs! kin ye bleeve whar jetblue takes keer of its long term airplane maintenance:

Amid the horrific images that flashed across our TV screens during the past month, there was one last week that stood out because it was so unexpectedly reassuring: that of a supremely competent pilot steering a JetBlue airliner with jammed front wheels to a safe landing at Los Angeles International Airport.

Since last week's landing, though, we've learned a couple of other things that aren't quite so comforting -- for instance, that this was at least the seventh time that the front wheels on an Airbus A-320 have gotten locked in the wrong position.

More surprising still was the news about JetBlue's long-term maintenance of its aircraft. When the planes are inspected for damage and then reassembled, the work takes place either in Canada or El Salvador.

El Salvador?

mayhap karen hughes kin beat back reality. shes startin in the rite place, our grate ally saudi arabia, home of 15 out of 19 9/11 terrists. birthplace of osama bin laden:

JIDDAH, Saudi Arabia, Sept. 27 -- Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes questioned Tuesday the Saudi ban on driving by women, telling a crowd of several hundred Saudi women, covered head to toe in black clothing, that it had negatively shaped the image of Saudi society in the United States.

"We in America take our freedoms very seriously," Hughes said. "I believe women should be free and equal participants in society. I feel that as an American woman that my ability to drive is an important part of my freedom."

Women in the audience applauded after she also mentioned that they should have a greater voice in the Saudi political system, including eventually receiving the right to vote.

mayhap we kin git on one of them cruises to nowhar, witch thats whar ye git ifn ye deny reality long a nuff.