passhuns of buddy don: continuin search fer the purrfeck sangle malt scotch

me n miz bd has been takin add vantage of sum of the attrackshuns of livin up here in such a big city, witch one of the mane ones is how ye kin find mos ever innerest ye mite wonta foller rite up in here. fer instunts, we dun fell in luv with sangle malt scotches n wuz we ever in the rite place fer it. fer one thang, riteover thar in man hattan, they gut em one of the best retail stores fer sangle malt scotch in the worl, a place name of park avenue liquors, witch tiz on madison n 41st street. corse i dun menchuned keens chophouse a time or two. but thays lots more:ye gut a place we aint never been yet name of the ginger man, witch they lacks to brag bout thar sangle malt scotch seeleckshun but it aint much cumpard to keens or st andrews. speaking of st andrews, tiz a nuther place thats well knowd fer its sangle malt scotch colleckshun n fer the fack that all thar waiters whars kilts whenever thar a'wurkin.

cums a time lack this week, when they gut whisky fest a'goin on in new york at the marriott marquee hotel on broadway n 45th. ye mite could thank that jes lettin ye pay yer price n git into the hotel to sample as minny differnt sangle malts n uther whiskys as ye kin hold, ye mite could thank that wood be a nuff, but not fer this part of the cuntry. furst thay wuz free tastins a'goin on ever afternoon over at park avenue liquor, witch i dropped by thar to test out the 10% discount on my new malt advocate whisky society card. thay had em a feller who imports whiskys lack tobermory n bruichladdich n deanstons n ledaig. bout as quick as i gut in n tole em i wonted to git a nuther bottle of that stuff my irish friend brung over fer a tastin, witch twuz sum old malt cask speshul bottlin of sum laphroaig n bout as fine as inny we ever had, here cum that feller offerin to pore me sum of whutever. i tasted sum ledaig 20, witch ledaig 15 is one of our faverts alreddy. he lacked how much i lacked it so he broke the seal on sum ledaig 30 n let me have a taste of thatn. twuz deeliteful n twill be fer sale in january fer $400 a bottle, witch tiz a good thang he let me taste sum fer free on a counta i couldnt never spend no $400 fer a bottle of scotch n ifn i did, i couldnt never drank it.

innywho, i reckon ye gut the idee. the hole place is crazy fer havin em sum sangle malts, speshly in the week of whisky fest. me n miz bd sined up bout as quick as we larnt they wuz a'gone have it n since we joined the malt whisky advocate society, we gut vip tickets, witch that ment ye could git in a hour early. as soon as we had sprung that deal, we herd bout a whisky dinner at st. andrews fer the nite befor. twuz sponsored by gordon n mcphail, witch thays sum speshul bottlers thats been in the whisky bottlin bizness over 100 years, n the idee wuz that ye wood git yer dinner n four scotches fer $50 includin tip n tax n everthang, witch twuz so cheap (fer man hattan) on a counta it bein a promoshunul thang fer gordon n mcphail. miz bd sined us up fer thatn n long story short, we had us a whisky dinner on a sundy follerd by whisky fest on mundy n i tuck the day off yesterdy jes in case.

the whisky dinner wuz ok only twooda been much better ifn it had started on time. innywho, we had a dinner of caesar salad n salmon on crab cakes follered by a deesert of creme brulee n then tea or coffee. they had em a scotch fer each seckshun, startin with benromach tradishunul, witch gordon n mcphail bought up the benromach distillry in 1998 n started makin whisky in it agin, witch the benromach tradishunul wuz the furst they cum out with. corse that whisky couldnt be no moren five or six year old, witch twuz the yungest we had ever tasted ceptn in a blend n twuz ok but not grate. whenever they brung out the salad, they give us a drank of lochside 1991 12 year, witch ye caint git thatn no more on a counta how that distillry has dun been closed. twuz a nuther verr lite whisky, a bit more cumplex than the benromach. whenever they brung out a new whisky fer us, they had em a feller thar name of michael urquhart, director of gordon n mcphail who wood give us a lil leckchur on the taste we mite git frum the whisky n how that whisky cum to be speshul. when they brung the mane corse -- ye could git a rib-eye stake or a grilled thistle-honey piece of chicken ifn ye eat animuls that has eyelids -- thay give us a drank of mortlach 15 year, witch thatn wuz the bestn yet, furstn with inny taste of peat smoke. finely, they brung us deesert n a drank of caol ila 12 year, witch me n miz bd had dun bought us sum of the caol ila 12 bottled by the distillry, but the gordon n mcphail private colleckshun bottlin wuz whut thay served us n twuz the bestn of the nite: peaty, smokey as kin be, tastin of peppers n fruits n such.

twuznt all good on a counta how we gut thar a lil early but they wuznt reddy n we had to wait till near 8:30 befor we gut started. they wuznt too generus with the water neethur, but we made pests out of ourself n gut sum. but we dint git home till after 11:30, witch twuz a long spell past our bedtime.

on mundy we went to whisky fest. twuz nuthin less than amazin. fer one thang, they had a grate feed set up with all kinda fine cheeses n breads n salads n pastas n yew name it, so we gut sumthin on our stumachs furst thang. they also give us a lil nosin glass with the wurds whisky fest 2004 writ on em n bout as quick as we stowed our dirty dishes, we gut to samplin. one thang ye gut to know bout these here kinda events, witch they gut em a spittoon at ever table, witch ye aint spozed to spit but to pore out whuts left in yer glass after ye dun tuck a lil taste. ifn ye ever go to one of these events, ye gut to make friends with bof the spittoon n the idee of porin out really grate scotch. otherwise sumbidys a'gone half to pore ye into a cab n send ye home. as ye kin see by the list of thangs we gut to taste, we had dun made friends with that thar spittoon thang frum the verr beginnin. also, thay had em lots of dranks that wuznt sangle malt scotches, manely amurkin or irish whiskys n sum rum n tequila, witch dint me nor miz bd show no innerst in em. heres the list:

• Inverleven 1979
• Michter's 10 year old single barrel bourbon
• Michter's US #1 American whiskey
• Michters US #1 single barrel straight rye (thisn wuz one of the bes sprizes of the nite, not only fer the bourbon, but speshly fer this rye that wuz deelishus with notes of butterscotch rum)
• Old Potrero Single Malt
• Bruichladdich Full Strength 1989
• Bruichladdich 3D 9a blend of three differnt decades of Bruichladdich, witch tiz verr peaty n wurth trine once tiz availabull here in amurka)
• Caol Ila 18 (thisn wuz pored fer us by a feller frum the Drumchork Lodge Hotel, witch he wuz bout as nice as folks gits n invited us to cum stay at his hotel n make us sum scotch our ownself n we mite jes doot)
• Highland Park 1980
• Glenfarclas 21 year
• Ardebeg 30 (thisn wuz a speshul charity tastin ye had to pay exter fer with the money goin to the red cross)
• Isle of Jura (a nuther speshul charity tastin, witch we dun fergot the particlars bout this scotch only twuz verr old n eggspensive)
• Glengoyne 17 year
• Glengoyne 12 year cask strength
• Johnnie Walker Green Label (we larnt that Johnnie Walker has to call thisn Green Label now on a counta how they caint sell thar old green labeld pure malt as a 'pure malt' no more, witch we had us a bottle that hadnt been opened yet n the feller thar tole us we shouldnt never open it but should save it fer a few years n then sell it fer the price of a case. fack is, i caint find a pitcher of the new bottle on the internets rite now, but when me n miz bd went to try to buy us a nuther of the ole style bottles on speckulayshun, we found they dint have nuthin but the new one down to the nearest likker store)
• Bruichladdich 14 year cask strength
• Tullamore Dew 12 year
• Compass Box Peat Monster (ifn ye lack peat, thisn could be the one fer ye, tho taint a true sangle malt)
• Connemara Single Malt Irish
• Connemara Cask Strength
• Connemara Peated Single Malt Irish Whisky

thays more scotch to be tasted fer free over to park avenue liquors, but we had us a nuff fer a while. we larnt a lot at bof events n had us a real good time. we also met sum other folks thats been on the search fer the purrfeck sangle malt scotch lots longer than we been. we sat next to em at st andrews n then run into em at whicky fest, witch they live up in seattle but cum to new york jes fer the event. they been searchin fer the purrfeck sangle malt fer nigh onto 20 years. lack us, they gut into the habit of collecktin innythang speshul that they really lacks, witch tiz a tradishun amung lots of sangle malt scotch drankers to buy two bottles, one to drank, tuthern to save. we ast em did they have much of a colleckshun n they tole us how they had dun bilt em a speshul room in thar house to hold it all. how minny unopened bottles did they have? over 1,000!

as ye kin see, this stuff could git out of hand!