ramblins of buddy don: tid bits

aint hardly gut no time fer bloggin today on a counta i finely slept till 4 am, witch thats my goal ever mornin only lately i aint been able to make it past 2:45 at the latest. this mornin i opend my eyes n checked the clock n wuz it ever a sprize to see twuz alreddy 4:15! i been needin the sleep, so i aint bellyachin bout it.

corse, i gut to cook my erbs everday, witch that takes a good two hours, so i jes now gut em dun n tiz past 6:30, the bbc is dun off, my shower is dun tuck, n i aint a'gone make the 6:33 bus to man hattan, witch mayhap i kin git the 6:48 or even the 7:00.

tiz my fervent hope that them erbs is heppin to make me well sos i wont miss no more wurk on a counta havin migraines, witch i dun missd a lil over 17 days this year! i been wurkin my lil tail off to make it up to em even tho my cumpny dont count sick days (i do!).

so mayhap tiz a hopeful sine how this statistick has changed: fer the past cuple years, i been weighin myself ever mornin jes after movin my bowels n jes befor takin my shower. durin all that time, my weight has varied twixt a hi of 164 n a low of 152. durin them vomitin episodes, i have lost as much as 8 pounds durin one day, witch quick as i kin drank water agin, i git mos of that weight back.

but since i had them sweats after frank butler putt me back on them ole fashion erbs, my weight has been no higher than 154.4 n no lower than 153.2. so in sted of varyin as much as 12 pounds frum hi to low, it has been varyin only a spread of 1.2 pounds.

taint lack i changed nuthin in the way i eat, witch i dont eat innythang that has eyelids whenever tiz alive (no beef, turkey, pork, lamb, goat, chicken, pheasant, goose, duck, frogs, dogs, cats, pigeons, mice, rats, etc.) but mosly vegtabulls n fish now n then. aint never been a big fan of deesert. n ceptn when im havin migraines, i take a drank of scotch or tennessee whisky ever day but never moren two shots wurth (lessn we go to a tastin, witch tiz hard to say how much ye git then, but i aint been drunk since 1999 when i let a feller frum spain cunvints me n miz bd that sangria wuz jes the thang to drank after a cuple bottles of wine twixt four folks).

so i lack to thank this change of metabolisum tiz a good thang.

speakin of good thangs, how bout this? did ye ever see innythang so purty that wuz made outta glass?

or this frum john prine?

or this frum the boss?

or had ye herd bout talisker cummin out with a 18 year ole eggspreshun? me n miz bd broke the seal on a bottle over the weekend n we kin testify to how tiz truly deeliteful, mayhap even bettern the 10 year ole.

n miz bd had sum real good news fer me whenever i gut home last nite, witch i promissd not to tell nobidy bout it fer a few days. no, she aint eggspecktin! watch this here space fer more news.

oh n dont let me fergit to say thanks to john norris brown fer puttin together a fine volunteer tailgate party! he volunteerd to doot! aint that jes lack tiz spozed to be?

so have a grate day!

life of buddy don, chaptur 136: teachin or taught?

once i gut into the swang of thangs at kc, i luved my job n felt lack i wuz doon the worl sum good. i had been a’studyin teachin my hole life much moren i real eyesed on a counta seem lack ever teacher i had wuz showin me sumthin that eethur wurked or dint. i wuz eager to try out sum of my idees. i wuz eggcited bout whut a grate teacher i wuz a’gone be. corse, i had lots to larn my ownself.

furst thang i wonted to do wuz make shore my students wonted to cum to class, that they wuz havin fun. fack is, i bleeved then (and bleeve now) that play is a verr importunt part of larnin. ifn ye watch them natchur shows on tv ye see how jes bout ever new generayshun of animulls finds out how to survive by playin. fack is, thats part of whut makes em so cute. ye see them lil lions or tigers or house cats or dogs or bears or mos inny mammal a’playin n larnin how to survive in a hard worl. frum all that play, they larn whut wurks so they gut it down by time they need it when it cums time to eat or be eaten.

i tuck that mane idee into the classroom n tride to make shore the process of larnin wuz as much fun as could be. fer eggzample, in that mornin comp 101 class, we had to cover them basick essay forms: compar n contrast, narrayshun, descripshun, process, classificayshun, n argument, jes to menchun to mos obvious of em. fer a collidge freshmun, tiz hard to make such thangs fun. mos students druther take a beatin than have to rite sumthin. quick as ye ast em to git out thar pens n paper, they git to moanin n groanin. i wood ast em did they moan n groan whenever they wuz larnin to play basketball by playin or larn to dance by dancin or larn to ‘conversate’ by ‘conversatin’ or kiss by kissin? that gut a laff n purty soon the papers wuz out n they wuz a’ritin.

nuther thang i dun wuz to brang over a box of used books me n emily had bought up out at the flea market on alcoa hiway n used em as prizes fer the bes thangs writ in class. i wuz always a’lectchurin em on how ye gut to read, how whenever ye read, ye train yer brain in how language wurks n how ye deevelop yer ear fer whuts rite n whuts rong. sumbidy ast did it matter whut they read n i tole em innythang. did that include letters to penthouse magazine? i tole me twuz fine to read innythang n ifn pornogruffy wuz thonly thang they kep ye innerested, then i reckund twuz bettern not readin atall.

they laffed n sed twuz easier to larn thangs by a’watchin tv, but i ast em did they know bout innybidy that had em a job whar they wuz paid fer watchin tv? dint nobidy anser n i sed thay had to face the facks, that they lived in amurka whar ifn ye wonted to be respeckted, ye had to be able to read n rite standurd english. that led to a lil discushun bout how standurd english wuz white english n sum of em wuz mad bout it. they sed twuznt fair fer it to be thataway. seem lack they wonted me to add mitt how they dint need to larn it, but i dint bite. i dint even add mitt standurd english wuz white english, witch thats why everbidy hates takin english class.

in sted, i tole em that everbidy speaks moren one form of english. i tole em bout how my fambly wuz a big fambly of talkers n story tellers n how one thang that gut me wuz how whenever they tole a story, they wood use hillbilly. even my granddaddy that wuz the judge of morgan county n could speak good english jes fine wood speak hillbilly whenever he wuz a’tellin a story. i tole em how fer me thay wudnt no better way to tell a story, that ye could hear the musick in the langwage.

they laffed when i spoke a bit of hillbilly to em n then they laffed even harder whenever i tride to speak lack they dun. but i ast em did they thank i wood be respeckted ifn i wuz to take my standurd english n go over to thar side of town to visit a friend a’talkin lack a collidge perfesser, witch i tole em to magine i had a black friend that i wood visit n that near lost the class while they talked bout how wudnt no white man a’gone visit no black man at his house, not in deetroit! not on the south side of chicago! not in east st louis! not in harlem! not in dc! i had to add mitt how thay wudnt minny a white man that wood doot, but i wuz thar amung em then, wudnt i?

but i changed the subjeck a lil n ast em ifn they wood be reespeckted ifn they wuz to go home n insist on speakin nuthin but standurd english. that gut a feller name of james coleman to raze his hand n say he wished he could doot as good as i dun n ifn he could he wood doot at home, witch dolores ast him wood he doot out on the corner? they all laffed at that, witch i sed i figgerd the point wuz how we use whutever langwage is appropriate to the time n place.

rite or rong, i tole em, standurd english is cunsidderd rite fer the bizness worl n tiz sumthin that kin be used to hold ye back. that gut em talkin bout how white folks use innythang to hold black folks back, witch i sed ifn twuz true, wood ye let em have it easy by not larnin thar lingo? then i tole em bout the perfesser in west germany who tole us how in 200 years, amurkin english wood be jes lack whut they call black english, how over time a langwage gits simpler n yet more eggspressive. i sed that folks quit a’usin the parts of speech thats obvious. as a eggzample, i sed how in black english ye could say, ‘he ugly,’ n woodnt nobidy miss whut ye meant even ifn twuz proper to say, ‘he is ugly.’ n as fer bein more eggspressive, wudnt thay a differnts twixt ‘he ugly’ n ‘he be ugly’?

thay add mitted twuz so. then dolores ast me to speak sum more hillbilly n i dun it fer a bit, a’tellin em ever langwage kin tell innythang that needs to be tole. they laffed n laffed. i ast em why n they tole me how it made me sound so ignernt. i add mitted it n sed twuz a sad thang how folks did that. fack is, i sed, folks’ll use it to hold ye back jes lack they wood do to folks speakin black english. thay wuz quite fer a bit after that. i tole em i dint have no choice but to larn standurd english since dint nobidy give hillbilly no respeck. but i bleeve ever form of english has gut its place n ever one is verr useful, dont make no never mind ifn tiz black english or standurd english or even hillbilly. they all gut thar own beauty n time n place.

they ast me did i thank sumbidy could rite a hole book in nuthin but hillbilly. i tole em i figgerd it could be dun but mayhap woodnt nobidy read it. on tuther hand, mayhap twood make the readers hear the musick in the langwage n fer all i knew ye could tell yer hole life story in hillbilly n have folks read it frum start to finish n even wish thay wuz more n even wonta speak hillbilly thar ownself. that gut everbidy to laffin n they sed they wood shore lack to see sumbidy try such a thang. did i speck em to bleeve folks wood really read such a thang? i ast em had inny of em read the color purple by alice walker n that shut em up purty quick. i tuck it out of my pack n read jes a page or two n ye mite could thank i had pulled a rabbit outta my back pack frum the sprize it give sum of em.

james coleman ast me wuz that book in the box of prizes? i sed twuznt yet, but thay wuz otherns jes as good. fack wuz, whenever sumbidy won the opshun of gittin a book, i wood announce the winner tords the end of the class n that person wood git to walk up in frunt of everbidy n pick thru the books till they found the one they wonted n they figgerd twuz jes fer the glory of bein up in frunt of the class, but after i had read that, seem lack they tride harder to win n whenever james coleman won he picked out richard wrights black boy n held it up n sed did innybidy ever here of a black man ritin a book name of black boy? thang bout james wuz how he dint hardly know whut a sentence wuz whenever he started that class, but he wurked hard as could be till he larnt to rite n pass the class.

i wuz jes full of idees bout teachin n seem lack thay wuznt class a nuff to try em all. fer instunts, i gut a idee bout how to git em to rite a narrashun paper that gut em all to talkin n turnt out i larnt as much as they dun. twuz rite near thanksgivin. i had me a ole pair of overhauls i had bought at the flea market in clinton, witch twuz blue n coverd ye frum head to toe jes bout. fack is, twuz jes lack them they wore out at union carbide n i speck sumbidy had borried it n never brung it back. i give $3 fer it but hadnt never had a chants to wear it till i gut this idee.

whenever the mornin cum fer me to use my idee, i gut up n putt on my bes suit with a white shirt n tie n everthang ceptn thonly shoes i had wuz them beat up clodhoppers i had been a’wearin since mama bought em fer me rite befor we went to west germany. after gittin all dressed in that suit n tie, i putt on them overhauls n gut that witches mask that cuverd my hole head into my back pack n walked on over to campus.

once i gut thar n tuck the role, i tole my class i wood be rite back. i sed that whenever i cum back, i wood be a guest they had brung to thar house fer thanksgivin. they wuz to watch everthang i dun n deescribe jes whut happend. then i went out into the hall n pulled on them overhauls n putt on that mask n went back in. whut a sensayshun that created! they wuz a’laffin n carryin on lack nuthin ye never seen. i had dun splaind bout how they wuz to rite a in-class essay, so when they dint do nuthin but laff fer a bit, i rote up n the board sumthin bout how they had 45 mints lef. bout then dolores g miller cum in rite bout then, witch that made everbidy laff n that made jerome mad to whar he tole em ifn they dint shut up n rite, he wood shut em up. i give im a thumbs up n they gut started.

generly i walked round the class n made shore everbidy wuz a’ritin, but this time i stood up thar actin lack i dint hardly know whut to do. that mask wood make ye itch n easiest way to scratch wuz by usin the air holes in the nose, witch that made it look lack ye wuz pickin yer nose. i knew that wuz good fer a laff n sumthin to deescribe, so i dun a bit of that n by time the laffs died down, they wuz all jes a’scribblin away, ritin fer a bit n then lookin at me.

so happend that class wuz also the practiss room fer the choir, witch that meant it had a grand peeano rite in the middle of it. i had jes been larnin a chopin walz, so after they had been a’ritin fer a bit, i went over to that peeano n played it. wuz they ever sprized! they dint have no idee i could play the peeano n even tho i wudnt much good, i could play it thru mosly n i dun jes that. then i gut up n went to the frunt of the class n tuck off them overhauls n purty soon they wuz a’hollerin out bout whut a fine suit i wuz a’wearin, witch thang wuz that suit had gone outta style durin the seventies whenever leeshure suits cum in but now twuz rite thar in the hart of fashun.

whut a bunch of essays i gut frum that! twuz funny how i wuz a’hopin to make thangs fun fer the class but ended up makin em fun fer me too on a counta them essays wudnt nuthin but fun to read. but whut sprized me mos wuz how i hadnt speckted whut them students wuz a’gone see:

• near everbidy talked bout how sprized thar fambly wuz over them a’brangin a white man with long strangy hair home fer thanksgivin. i hadnt hardly thunk bout race whenever i set up the scene, but twuz the furst thang menchuned on near ever essay writ.


• near everbidy talked bout how twuz odd to have a homeless white man home fer dinner but sed how thar mamas had always tole em how innybidy that wuz hungry wuz wellcum fer dinner in thar home.


• near everbidy wuz struck by how the homeless white man couldnt talk, witch i dint mean fer that to be part of it, but truth is i never sed a wurd once i gut the costume on.


• near everbidy sed twuz the hi point of that thanksgivin whenever that deaf n dumb homeless white man turnt out to play the peeano fer em n bout half of em menchuned whar jesus sed that when ye treat a pore stranger with kindness ye mite be entertainin a angel without a’knowin it.


• sevrul of em sed twuz a murkle frum god that a deaf n dumb homeless white man could play the peeano, witch they writ how ye woodnt thank a deaf person could do that on a counta how kin ye larn to play peeano ifn ye caint hear nuthin?


• near everbidy wuz struck by the change whenever i tuck them overhauls off, but whut gut em mos wuz how twuz jes whut ye mite speck frum a white man to be all dressed up n still a’wearin a pair of ole dusty boots that orta dun been throwd out years ago.

sevrul of em writ how twuz jes as importunt to wear the rite cloze as twuz to speak the rite form of english. did i wont respeck frum that class? did i wont respeck at knoxvull collidge? did i even know whar i wuz? ye dint cum into no house all dressed up in a suit n tie but a'wearin a pair of dusty ole boots. twernt proper. ye had to dress the part ifn ye wonted respeck n ifn ye dint, twuz a way of showin disrespeck to them ye wuz a'visitin.

i had to add mitt how that stung me purty good. i tole emily bout it n even tho we had a fuss n fite all they way over to millers on henley street, i went over n bought me a pair of shoes. after that, i gut to lookin more keerful lack at whut folks wuz a’wearin on campus n seen how i stuck out lack a hillbilly in deetroit. i hadnt never figgerd twuz a form of disrespeck. i figgerd twuz jes bein myself. but i wuz rong n ever after that, i real eyesed i had a lot to larn, even ifn i wuz the perfesser.

hopes of buddy don: rainbows over man hattan

i been down bout the state of the worl lately. it sickens me to read bout the torchur dun in our name in afghanistan n iraq n gitmo n all, but yesterdy me n miz bd got caught in a hard rain shower to whar we wuz soaked to the skin, witch lucky fer me n miz bd we gut waterproof skin fer our furst birthdy.

then whenever we looked over at man hattan, we seen how thay wuz a rainbow thar, witch after the flood twuz gods sine to the worl that he wuz still in cuntrol n keerin fer us. i lack to thank twuz the same thang agin.

tho ye caint do justust with a pitcher to sumthin as big as a rainbow frum midtown down to whar them towers used to be, miz bd tride to ketch that thar rainbow, startin with one oer midtown:



then thays tuther half over downtown:



finely, she tride to git a close up of it:

pinions of buddy don: losin harts n minds

we aint figgered out how to win the harts n minds of them folks we need to cunvints that we are the good guys. ifn we caint do that n sum of em gits democrussy, aint no doubt they a'gone vote us out of vote agin whut we stand fer. but we have figgerd out how not to doot.

• see that thar articull ye orta not read frum yesterdys post.


• ignore whut ye dun add mitted wuz true sos ye kin attack the press in sted, lack the washington post splains this mornin in thar editorial bout that newsweek thang:

  The Bush administration's first response was equally straightforward. The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Richard B. Myers, told reporters last week that the U.S. commander in Afghanistan believed the violence "was not at all tied to the article in the magazine." Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice pledged that "appropriate action" would be taken if the allegations proved true. But then the administration's spinners, led by Pentagon and White House spokesmen, took over. The result has been a cynical campaign to capitalize politically while deflecting attention from serious issues.
  [emphasis by buddy don]

• ignore how them folks that wuz putt into gitmo on suspishun but then turnt out to be innocent mite tell on ye, witch this articull in todays new york times writ by Somini Sengupta n Salman Masood name of Guantánamo Comes to Define U.S. to Muslims:

  Accounts of abuses at the actual American detention center at Guantánamo Bay, including Newsweek magazine's now-retracted article on the desecration of the Koran, ricochet around the world, instilling ideas about American power and justice, and sowing distrust of the United States. Even more than the written accounts are the images that flash on television screens throughout the Muslim world: caged men, in orange prison jumpsuits, on their knees. On Al Jazeera and Al Arabiya, two satellite networks, images of the prisoners appear in station promos.
  
  For many Muslims, Guantánamo stands as a confirmation of the low regard in which they believe the United States holds them. For many non-Muslims, regardless of their feelings toward the United States, it has emerged as a symbol of American hypocrisy.
  
  "The cages, the orange suits, the shackles - it's as if they're dealing with something that's like a germ they don't want to touch," said Daoud Kuttab, director of the Institute of Modern Media at Al Quds University in Ramallah, in the West Bank. "That's the nastiness of it."
  
  The Bush administration's response to the Newsweek article - a general condemnation of prison abuses, coupled with an attack on the magazine - apparently did little to allay the concerns of many Muslims. Then on Thursday, the International Committee of the Red Cross issued a report detailing the many complaints from detainees at Guantánamo about desecrations of the Koran between early 2002 and mid-2003.
  
  In India, a secular country by law whose people and government are growing increasingly close to the United States, a cartoon appeared in Midday, an afternoon tabloid, on Friday showing a panic-stricken Uncle Sam flushing copies of Newsweek magazine down a toilet.
  
  To the cartoonist, Hemant Morparia, it appeared as though the Bush administration's answer to the problem was to bury the truth.

kin sumbidy git a retrackshun of gitmo? kin they retrack the torchur in afghanistan? in iraq? at gitmo? kin we win thar harts n minds by gittin folks to quit publishin whut the folks that hate us alreddy know?

pinions of buddy don: dont read that thar articull! jes dont!

i wonted to wurk on a chaptur this mornin, but thays that habit thang i lack to say:

habits: easy to make, hard to brake; goodns make ye, badns brake ye.

since my habit of takin a look at the new york times ever mornin aint broke, i ended up readin the mane articull on the frunt page, witch it made me so mad i wonted to cry.

ifn ye wonta bleeve the war on terr is a war twixt good (us'ns) n evil (them), then dont ye read that thar articull!

but ifn ye aint inclined to take that add vice, lemme warn ye a bit better. furst, the name of that thar articull ye dont wonta read is In U.S. Report, Brutal Details of 2 Afghan Inmates' Deaths, witch ye gut to register to read it n mayhap ye aint dun that (tiz free, but doon it mite keep ye frum bein tempted to read that thar articull).

twuz writ by a feller name of tim golden, witch ifn ye look at that list of whut he has dun writ, ye kin see he covers thangs mos folks probly wish wuznt true.

ifn ye wonta bleev sum them thangs ye dont wonta bleev aint true, then dont read that thar articull!

but ifn ye aint cunvints yet, heres a long quote frum the beginnin n end of the articull, startin with the beginnin:

Even as the young Afghan man was dying before them, his American jailers continued to torment him.

The prisoner, a slight, 22-year-old taxi driver known only as Dilawar, was hauled from his cell at the detention center in Bagram, Afghanistan, at around 2 a.m. to answer questions about a rocket attack on an American base. When he arrived in the interrogation room, an interpreter who was present said, his legs were bouncing uncontrollably in the plastic chair and his hands were numb. He had been chained by the wrists to the top of his cell for much of the previous four days.

Mr. Dilawar asked for a drink of water, and one of the two interrogators, Specialist Joshua R. Claus, 21, picked up a large plastic bottle. But first he punched a hole in the bottom, the interpreter said, so as the prisoner fumbled weakly with the cap, the water poured out over his orange prison scrubs. The soldier then grabbed the bottle back and began squirting the water forcefully into Mr. Dilawar's face.

"Come on, drink!" the interpreter said Specialist Claus had shouted, as the prisoner gagged on the spray. "Drink!"

At the interrogators' behest, a guard tried to force the young man to his knees. But his legs, which had been pummeled by guards for several days, could no longer bend. An interrogator told Mr. Dilawar that he could see a doctor after they finished with him. When he was finally sent back to his cell, though, the guards were instructed only to chain the prisoner back to the ceiling.

"Leave him up," one of the guards quoted Specialist Claus as saying.

Several hours passed before an emergency room doctor finally saw Mr. Dilawar. By then he was dead, his body beginning to stiffen. It would be many months before Army investigators learned a final horrific detail: Most of the interrogators had believed Mr. Dilawar was an innocent man who simply drove his taxi past the American base at the wrong time.

The story of Mr. Dilawar's brutal death at the Bagram Collection Point - and that of another detainee, Habibullah, who died there six days earlier in December 2002 - emerge from a nearly 2,000-page confidential file of the Army's criminal investigation into the case, a copy of which was obtained by The New York Times.

i reckun ye kin see that this aint the kinda thang ye wonta thank our folks is a'doon over thar, so dont read that thar articull, speshly not to the end.

are ye payin attenchun yet? i tole ye not to read that thar articull! speshly not to the verr end, whar ye wood read this:

In February, an American military official disclosed that the Afghan guerrilla commander whose men had arrested Mr. Dilawar and his passengers had himself been detained. The commander, Jan Baz Khan, was suspected of attacking Camp Salerno himself and then turning over innocent "suspects" to the Americans in a ploy to win their trust, the military official said.

The three passengers in Mr. Dilawar's taxi were sent home from Guantánamo in March 2004, 15 months after their capture, with letters saying they posed "no threat" to American forces.

They were later visited by Mr. Dilawar's parents, who begged them to explain what had happened to their son. But the men said they could not bring themselves to recount the details.

"I told them he had a bed," said Mr. Parkhudin. "I said the Americans were very nice because he had a heart problem."

In late August of last year, shortly before the Army completed its inquiry into the deaths, Sergeant Yonushonis, who was stationed in Germany, went at his own initiative to see an agent of the Criminal Investigation Command. Until then, he had never been interviewed.

"I expected to be contacted at some point by investigators in this case," he said. "I was living a few doors down from the interrogation room, and I had been one of the last to see this detainee alive."

Sergeant Yonushonis described what he had witnessed of the detainee's last interrogation. "I remember being so mad that I had trouble speaking," he said.

He also added a detail that had been overlooked in the investigative file. By the time Mr. Dilawar was taken into his final interrogations, he said, "most of us were convinced that the detainee was innocent."

have ye gut the point? ye dont wonta read that thar articull, do ye? ye wonta sleep peaceful, thankin how we mus be on gods side, how thonly reason muslims mite be upset with amurka is how newsweek dint git its story strate. tiz easier to bleev that than to read bout this awful stuff bein reported bout us.

corse, ifn ye aint lisnin n go ahead n read that thar articull, witch here is whar ye go not to read it, then ye gut nobidy but yer ownself to blame on a counta how im a'tellin ye now the middle part of that thar articull is much wurser than the parts i dun quoted.

why dont ye go to the la times n read bout how brave mr bush lacks to make shore hes gut a good audients of folks that needs to here him splain why privatizin soshul securty is the mos importunt issue of the day. lease that articull mite give ye sumthin to smile about.

quick note of buddy don: trine to git the nex chaptur writ

i spent mos of this mornin trine to rite the nex chaptur of life n pinions of buddy don, hillbilly. i also gut to give my son a call so he kin ast me whut to do bout a lil wurk problem hes been a'havin with one of the folks he manages. that dont hardly give me no time to blog.

i did wonta take this moment to thank my reglar readers fer stickin with me: tennessee jed, red molly, deb, bitterman, omni. sumtimes bloggin is lack droppin a rose petal into the grand canyon, witch thats whut they say in publishin when sumbidy cums out with a book of poetry. as ye mite magine, that aint much echo frum doon the rose petal.

but in my case, i gut to count them blessins on a counta them folks i jes menchuned. all but one of em have blogs of thar own, witch ye mite wonta drop by sum time:

• red mollys blog is blue page speshul.
• bittermans site is knowd as the smoking toaster, witch tiz ackshly 'the office for world domination presents the smoking toaster.com ... the internet's only weasel powered weblog.'
• omni's site is verr intriguin, witch she calls it omniverse or every topic in the universe -- i wish it had a way to make comments!
• finely, deb has sugarfused, witch i been a'readin thatn fer a cuple years now. she used to rite haiku n i never knew nobidy that could rite em inny better.

i kindly wish i could git tennessee jed to start a blog of his own! hes gut plenty to say, a good way of sayin it, n his own point of view. mayhap sumday he will. ifn he duz, i will be ritin bout it.

so since i aint gut time to blog much, try them blogs i jes menchuned. ye wont be sorry!

ramblins of buddy don: this n that

frum the aint necessarly so file, heres a few stories that go agin whut folks lacks to bleeve. fer instunts, ye mite could thank thonly reason innybidy wood kill thar self in a bombin ('suicide bomber') is on a counta how they bleeve thar a'gone git 72 virgins or sumthin. lots of folks druther cum to thar conclushun n then bleeve whut they wonta bleeve in sted of lookin at the evidents n then cummin to a conclushun. taint so fer this here robert a. pape feller, witch he did a study of all the suicide bombins frum 1980 to 2003 n writ a story bout it in the new york times name of Blowing up an Assumption. ye orta read the hole thang, but heres sum points he makes in that thar articull:

• Over the past two years, I have compiled a database of every suicide bombing and attack around the globe from 1980 through 2003 - 315 in all. This includes every episode in which at least one terrorist killed himself or herself while trying to kill others, but excludes attacks authorized by a national government (like those by North Korean agents against South Korea). The data show that there is far less of a connection between suicide terrorism and religious fundamentalism than most people think.


• First, nearly all suicide terrorist attacks - 301 of the 315 in the period I studied - took place as part of organized political or military campaigns. Second, democracies are uniquely vulnerable to suicide terrorists; America, France, India, Israel, Russia, Sri Lanka and Turkey have been the targets of almost every suicide attack of the past two decades. Third, suicide terrorist campaigns are directed toward a strategic objective: from Lebanon to Israel to Sri Lanka to Kashmir to Chechnya, the sponsors of every campaign - 18 organizations in all - are seeking to establish or maintain political self-determination.


• Some have wondered if the rise of suicide terrorism in Iraq is really such a bad thing for American security. Is it not better to have these killers far away in Iraq rather than here in the United States? Alas, history shows otherwise. The presence of tens of thousands of American combat forces on the Arabian Peninsula after 1990 enabled Al Qaeda to recruit suicide terrorists, who in turn attacked Americans in the region (the African embassy bombings in 1998 and the attack on the destroyer Cole in 2000). The presence of nearly 150,000 American combat troops in Iraq since 2003 can only give suicide terrorism a boost, and the longer this suicide terrorist campaign continues the greater the risk of new attacks in the United States.

nuther thang ye mite not speck is how mayhap them ceos is the ones to lead the charge to git sangle-payer health care in this cuntry. thats the point matt miller makes on the same page of the new york times today in a articull name of Waiting for C.E.O.'s to Go 'Nuclear'. agin, tiz wurth readin (even ifn ye half to register n ye orta doot whilst ye kin doot fer free since thar a'gone charge fer this page purty soon), but heres sum points he makes, startin with his idee of how to git the movement goin:

• Here's my version of the script: A dozen marquee C.E.O.'s would convene a "Manhattan Project"-style effort on the future of health care. They'd propose a new goal: instead of health costs rising from today's 15 percent of G.D.P. to 20 percent by around 2020, as is now projected, the nation should shave two to three percentage points of G.D.P. (or more) off projected growth in ways that improve quality, even as we extend coverage to the 45 million uninsured.


• We spend 15 percent of G.D.P. on health. Other rich nations spend 10 percent or less, but they manage to insure everyone - and have equal or better public health outcomes. And we have huge variations in practice patterns and medical spending that bear no relation to quality. Bottom line: radical inefficiency.


• Our C.E.O.'s would add that a new health strategy would get excess costs off businesses' backs - costs that competitors don't face in countries where governments pick up the tab. It would re-engineer the delivery of care so governments would have cash left for other purposes. And it would cope with the political reality that every dollar of health care "waste" is somebody's dollar of income.

in case ye thank thangs is a'goin jes fine on a counta how them publicans has been a'claimin they kin cut the budget deficit in half by 2009 (meanin half of whut they projected the deficit wood be, not whut twuz, givin tharself a good 100 billion dollars in wiggle room), witch thar a'doon it by increasin it this year, but mayhap they kin git on it nex year of sumthin.

innywho, thays folks on bof the lef n rite thats a'gittin wurried on a counta how we mite end up lack argentina, meanin thonly thang we wood be able to pay fer is the inerst on the nashunul debt. kin ye pitcher the event whar ye gut folks frum the rite wing heritage foundayshun (stuart butler) n the lef wing brookins institushun (isabell sawhill) meetin with comptroller genrull david m. walker to talk bout the same thang n agreein more often than not? accordin to dana milbank of the washington post it happend n he writ a articull name of Almost Unnoticed, Bipartisan Budget Anxiety to proov it. heres sum points frum the articull:

• With startling unanimity, they agreed that without some combination of big tax increases and major cuts in Medicare, Social Security and most other spending, the country will fall victim to the huge debt and soaring interest rates that collapsed Argentina's economy and caused riots in its streets a few years ago.
  
  "The only thing the United States is able to do a little after 2040 is pay interest on massive and growing federal debt," Walker said. "The model blows up in the mid-2040s. What does that mean? Argentina."


• Walker put U.S. debt and obligations at $45 trillion in current dollars -- almost as much as the total net worth of all Americans, or $150,000 per person. Balancing the budget in 2040, he said, could require cutting total federal spending as much as 60 percent or raising taxes to 2 1/2 times today's levels.


• Butler pointed out that without changes to Social Security and Medicare, in 25 years either a quarter of discretionary spending would need to be cut or U.S. tax rates would have to approach European levels. Putting it slightly differently, Sawhill posed a choice of 10 percent cuts in spending and much larger cuts in Social Security and Medicare, or a 40 percent increase in government spending relative to the size of the economy, and equivalent tax increases.


• Not surprisingly, the Heritage and Brookings crowds don't agree on an exact solution to the budget problem, but they seem to accept that, as Sawhill put it, "you can't do it with either spending or taxes. Eventually, you're going to need a mix of the two." Butler wants taxes, now at 17 percent of GDP, not to exceed 20 percent. Sawhill prefers 24 or 25 percent.
  
  But such haggling seems premature when both parties still deny the problem. "I don't think we're there yet," Walker said. "The American people have to understand where we are and where we're headed."
  
  And where is that? "No republic in the history of the world lasted more than 300 years," Walker said. "Eventually, the crunch comes."
  He wasn't talking about filibusters.

finely, ye know how folks thats gut thars alreddy hates ye to menchun class warfare (on a counta ye kin win a war better ifn yer opponents dont bleeve the war is a'gone on). in todays boston globe, derrick z. jackson splains how tiz a'gone in a articull name of A steeper ladder for the have-nots . tiz always bes to read the hole thang, but heres sum of the points he makes:

• The [Wall Street] Journal reported last Friday, "Despite the widespread belief that the US remains a more mobile society than Europe, economists and sociologists say that in recent decades the typical child starting out in poverty in continental Europe or in Canada has had a better chance at prosperity."
  
  In an echo, the Times wrote virtually the same thing, adding that in America, a child's economic background is a better predictor of school performance than in Denmark, the Netherlands, or France. The best that could be said was that class mobility in the United States is ''not as low as in developing countries like Brazil, where escape from poverty is so difficult that the lower class is all but frozen in place."


• In 1973, the ratio of CEO pay to worker pay was 43 to 1. By 1992, it was 145 to 1. By 1997, it was 326 to 1. By 2000, it hit a sky-high 531 to 1. The post 9/11 shakeouts and corporate scandals of recent years on the surface narrowed the gap back to 301 to 1 in 2003. But a much worse parallel global gap is emerging in the era of outsourcing. United for a Fair Economy published a report last summer that found CEOs of the top US outsourcing companies made 1,300 times more than their computer programmers in India and 3,300 more than Indian call-center employees.
  
  Such groups say if the minimum wage kept up with the rise in CEO pay, it would be $15.76 an hour instead of its current $5.15. Looking at it another way, the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, another often written-off liberal think tank, published a report last month that in the last three years, the share of US national income that goes toward corporate profits is at its highest levels since World War II, while the share of national income that goes to wages and salaries is at a record low.


• A quarter century of a ''mine, all mine" ethos continues to work for CEOs and the upper class. The rest of America finds the ladder taller and steepening. Much of the nation is now one catastrophic injury away from falling into poverty. It should be a national emergency that stratification in the richest nation in the world has us fading from the relative mobility of Europe and sinking toward the discouragement in developing countries.
  
  It is no wonder why politicians who protect the wealthy scream ''class warfare" every time someone talks about inequity. It is a diversion to keep those who vote against their own interests from realizing they are victims of friendly fire.

how could we let all this happen? mayhap on a counta how we aint kep verr informd by the fourth estate, witch ye kin read all bout it in this here articull on bill moyers speech to the nashunull confernce fer media reform in st louey name of "A democracy can die of too many lies". tiz too long to make sense without readin the hole thang. so jes go read it. ye wont be sorry. corse, ifn ye aint a sub scriber to salon, ye mite not git the hole thang, so ifn ye ack fast, ye kin git the hole thang at c-span fer free.

i been dreamin bout ifn we still had real jurnlists lack edward r. murrow, witch im a'readin a book bout im name of Edward R. Murrow; An American Original. he wuznt skeerd of nuthin, unlack them folks we have now thats trine to keep thar seat on air force one by playin stenogruffer fer the bushies.

whut skeers me is not havin such real jurnlists innymore.

treat meant of buddy don: gittin cured?

frank butler is the practishner of tradishunull chinese medicine thats been a'treatin me. he tole me one time that to git rid of them migraines thats been ailin me fer the past six years i wood sweat em outta me.

when he knew i wuz bout to git sick one time, he perscribed sum erbs to make my tempachur go up. he tole me i should drank it hot n eat sumthin lack oatmeal thats still hot n then git under the covers with lots of cloze on, includin a hat n socks. then i wuz spozed to lie under a heap of covers thar till i broke a sweat. he give me five treat meants n i dun whut he sed n broke a sweat maybe three times. but i still gut sick.

after the last time i gut sick (last weekend n mundy n tuesdy), he give me the first erbs i had tuck sos i could git back on track. i tuck em windsdy n went to wurk jes fine. tuck em thursdy n wuz a'goin good till late in the day. then i gut to feelin awful, lack i wuz bout to git sick agin. twuz verr deepressin. as i wuz leavin out fer the day, i run into my irish frien. he sed, 'aw, bud, i hate to see you like that.' i tole im i felt wurser than i looked.

went on home whar i found miz bd had dun cooked a fine dinner of curried vegtubulls n basmati rice that looked so good it coulda cum frum a restrunt. i tuck four or five bites n felt lack i woodnt be able to keep the food down, so i pall gized to miz bd n sed i wuz feelin bad. i lay down fer a mint n she cum to check on me n sed i wuz burnin up. she tuck my tempachur n found twuz near 101.

this same thang had happend the furst time frank give me them erbs, but i figgerd twuz my bad luck to git the flu n we treated it fer that, gittin my fever down n such. whut we dint do wuz try to sweat it out.

but this time, i put on sum more cloze n a hat n gut under the covers. miz bd gut a heatin pad n purty soon, i wuz coverd frum hed to foot n jes a'burnin up. i lay thar fer a cuple hours. whilst i wuz a'doon it, i could smell them erbs. then i broke a big sweat. i cleaned up a bit n went back to bed.

nex day, i dint have no fever n felt fine. since then, thangs has gut much better. i caint hardly wait to see frank to splain to im whut happend, witch i have a pointment fer tomorrow after wurk. i bet he is a'gone be happy bout it. mayhap im gittin cured after all.

thankee one n all fer puttin up with all this bellyachin bout my personull ailments. i hope to git back to tellin tales frum my life n pinions or jes postin sum pinions direckly.

fambly events of buddy don: late but grate mothers day celebrayshun

yesterdy we finely gut round to celebratin mothers day fer miz bd. twuz a magickull event ifn ever thay wuz one. miz bd has been a'studyin thai yoga massage at the new york open center whar her teacher is a feller name of jonas westring, so she had dun offerd everbidy a treat meant.

corse, much as they mite coulda lacked that, she wuz the mane attrackshun. her two kids -- jack n loretta -- n her son-out-laws (as she calls em) vaclav n paddy joined us. miz bd wishes bof em wuz her son-in-laws, but taint her deecishun.

everbidy showed up with lots of cheer n sum presents fer miz bd -- two tickets to see john prine in june, sum choclat coverd cherries, funny cards, n lottery scratch off ticket, witch miz bd sez she dint win on em, but she won the bigger lottery whenever she gut such a fine pair kids n such grate son-out-laws. as luck had it, i gut a call frum my son tony durin the visit, so twuz almos lack we wuz all together even tho tony lives in tennessee.

me n miz bd bought a pre-cooked ham on a counta how all them kids luvs to eat meat n even tho we dont, we lack to sprize em now n agin, longs they take the leftovers home with em. i cooked a feast to go with it: two pies -- a apple pie that i acksidently knocked onto the floor while twuz a'coolin n a peach pie that we ackshly gut to eat -- sum 'school cafeteria macaroni n cheese' (a fambly favert that miz bd taught me how to cook), sum veggie beans with veggie hot dogs in em that wuz so good nobidy could tell they wuznt made outta ackshull meat, sum fresh rye bread n sum sun tea.

we also had bought sum czech beer name of 'czechvar', witch tiz ackshly 'budvar' but thay aint allowd to call it that. twuz a grate beer minny years (cenchuries?) befor thay wuzn inny annhizer bush to ferbid them czechs frum sellin thar beer under the name of 'budweiser.' ifn ye wuz to drank sum czechvar, ye mite could see why folks in the czech republick is insulted by not bein able to use thar name on thar beer n speshly by how terrbull budweiser is cumpard to budvar (sold as 'czechvar').

everbidy ate harty lack n then miz bd gut to givin everbidy septin jack, witch hes too ticklish fer massage. paddys bout twice the size of miz bd, so twuz funny to see her movin him round, witch he lacked it so much he tole her she could practiss on him whenever she wonted to. he made shore she had his cell phone number.

after them massages, we shared sum connemara cask strength whiskey, witch tiz thonly peated irish whiskey n paddy his ownself hadnt never had nun befor. then we walked jack n vaclav to thar car n loretta n paddy to the ferry. by then twuz a beeyootifull nite, so we walked a bit n then cum in.

she wuz verr happy. twuz a bit o'magick fer everbidy.

pinions of buddy don: early amurkins fleein relijus persecushun

thays lots of talk by them that wonts to make amurka a christchun theocrussy of sum kind bout how them foundin fathers wuz christchun. ye could spend a career in ackademe fitin bout that without proovin nuthin to everbidys satisfackshun. but we kin document sum thangs bout the early europeons who cum here (n whut they wuz runnin frum) purty easly:

• them purtans:

  The Puritans were a group of people who grew discontent in the Church of England and worked towards religious, moral and societal reforms. The writings and ideas of John Calvin, a leader in the Reformation, gave rise to Protestantism and were pivotal to the Christian revolt. They contended that The Church of England had become a product of political struggles and man-made doctrines. The Puritans were one branch of dissenters who decided that the Church of England was beyond reform. Escaping persecution from church leadership and the King, they came to America.



• them cathlicks (with a bit more bout persecutin them purtans):

  The concept of religious persecution was not a new one to England, Queen Elizabeth reestablished the Protestant religion in England. In 1559, Cranmer's [revised] Book of Common Prayer became the law of English liturgy. The mass was outlawed, and Englishmen were compelled to attend the Anglican Church or pay a shilling. Catholics were forbidden to even hold Catholic literature. The government ordered the destruction of religious images in churches. In 1581, Parliament passed a law that conversion to Catholicism would be punished as high treason. Over 100 priests and 60 laymen were executed during the reign of Queen Elizabeth.
  
  English persecution under the reign of Elizabeth, however, did not confine itself solely to the Catholics. The Puritans also felt the heavy hand of the state. John Whitgift, her minister in the Canterbury see, subjected Puritan preachers who refused to support the state religion to such intense religious inquiry that it was compared to the worst stories told about the Spanish Inquisition.



• them quakers:

  The Society of Friends may be traced to the many Protestant bodies that appeared in Europe during the Reformation. These groups, stressing an individual approach to religion, strict discipline, and the rejection of an authoritarian church, formed one expression of the religious temper of 17th-century England. Many doctrines of the Society of Friends were taken from those of earlier religious groups, particularly those of the Anabaptists and Independents, who believed in lay leadership, independent congregations, and complete separation of church and state. The society, however, unlike many of its predecessors, did not begin as a formal religious organization. Originally, the Friends were the followers of George Fox, an English lay preacher who, about 1647, began to preach the doctrine of "Christ within"; this concept later developed as the idea of the "inner light." Although Fox did not intend to establish a separate religious body, his followers soon began to group together into the semblance of an organization, calling themselves by such names as Children of Light, Friends of Truth, and, eventually, Society of Friends. In reference to their agitated movements before moments of divine revelation, they were popularly called Quakers. The first complete exposition of the doctrine of "inner light" was written by the Scottish Quaker Robert Barclay in An Apology for the True Christian Divinity, as the Same Is Held Forth and Preached by the People Called in Scorn Quakers (1678), considered the greatest Quaker theological work.
  
  The Friends were persecuted from the time of their inception as a group. They interpreted the words of Christ in the Scriptures literally, particularly, "Do not swear at all" (Matthew 5:34), and "Do not resist one who is evil" (Matthew 5:39). They refused, therefore, to take oaths; they preached against war, even to resist attack; and they often found it necessary to oppose the authority of church or state. Because they rejected any organized church, they would not pay tithes to the Church of England. Moreover, they met publicly for worship, a contravention of the Conventicle Act of 1664, which forbade meetings for worship other than that of the Church of England. Nevertheless, thousands of people, some on the continent of Europe and in America as well as in the British Isles, were attracted by teachings of the Friends.
  
  Friends began to immigrate to the American colonies in the 1660s. They settled particularly in New Jersey, where they purchased land in 1674, and in the Pennsylvania colony, which was granted to William Penn in 1681. By 1684, approximately 7000 Friends had settled in Pennsylvania. By the early 18th century, Quaker meetings were being held in every colony except Connecticut and South Carolina. The Quakers were at first continuously persecuted, especially in Massachusetts, but not in Rhode Island, which had been founded in a spirit of religious toleration. Later, they became prominent in colonial life, particularly in Pennsylvania and Rhode Island. During the 18th century the American Friends were pioneers in social reform; they were friends of the Native Americans, and as early as 1688 some protested officially against slavery in the colonies. By 1787 no member of the society was a slave owner. Many of the Quakers who had immigrated to southern colonies joined the westward migrations into the Northwest Territory because they would not live in a slave-owning society.



• them baptists:

  John James was a Seventh Day Baptist Elder in London. He was tried and sentenced, executed, burned and quartered for allegedly preaching sedition by the Government. He was accused of being an alleged member of the Fifth Monarchy Men. There was little factual evidence to convict. He was martyred as an example for others. His head was placed on a pole/pike in Whitechapel (London) near his congregation.
  
  There are indications of both Seventh Day General Baptists, and Seventh Day Particular Baptists congregations existing during this period. Seventh Day Baptist congregations survived the Restoration(1660), and many of these prospered in the New World.
  
  All Baptist groups faced some form of persecution after the Restoration (1660) and were watched. Lingering Anabaptist connections persisted, and their earlier associations with former radical sects, and a few fire brands among the faithful added to their radical reputation to the Crown.



• them presbyteryuns:

  The English church at the time was Episcopalian and the Scottish settlers were Presbyterian. The Presbyterians believed in allegiance to God only and to God directly. Charles I, who was King from 1625-1649, persecuted these Presbyterians who maintained their independence and refused to convert to Episcopalianism. The native Irish who were Roman Catholic, also were opposed to these influx of "outsiders" and in 1641 they massacred many of these Scotch-Irish until Scotland ,who had maintained an interest in their sons and daughters who had moved west to Ireland, sent 10,000 troops to retake the area. Charles II, who was King from 1660-1685, continued the persecution of the Presbyterians. When the Roman Catholic James II, who succeeded his brother Charles II, was dethroned in the Glorious Revolution of 1688 and succeeded by the protestant William of Orange the Presbyterian persecutions were no longer a problem. These Scotch Presbyterians endured many hardships and persecutions, but they held stubornly to their protestant ways and they never ceased to fight for their rights and their beliefs including the belief in a government by democracy as was the very structure of their church.



• them christchuns of whutever brand:

  The religious persecution that drove settlers from Europe to the British North American colonies sprang from the conviction, held by Protestants and Catholics alike, that uniformity of religion must exist in any given society. This conviction rested on the belief that there was one true religion and that it was the duty of the civil authorities to impose it, forcibly if necessary, in the interest of saving the souls of all citizens. Nonconformists could expect no mercy and might be executed as heretics. The dominance of the concept, denounced by Roger Williams as "inforced uniformity of religion," meant majority religious groups who controlled political power punished dissenters in their midst. In some areas Catholics persecuted Protestants, in others Protestants persecuted Catholics, and in still others Catholics and Protestants persecuted wayward coreligionists. Although England renounced religious persecution in 1689, it persisted on the European continent. Religious persecution, as observers in every century have commented, is often bloody and implacable and is remembered and resented for generations.

mayhap ye kin see why them foundin fathers dint bleev gummint should establish a gummint relijun, witch ye kin read bout it in that furst amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

tiz a fack that minny of them foundin fathers wuz christchun. tiz also a fack that minny of em wuz deists n most of em were influenced by the enlightenment.

but my mane point is how them that wonted freedum to practiss thar own relijun how they wonted to practiss it wuz reacktin to persecushun of christchuns by christchuns. do we wonta git back to that? fer eggzample, ifn the cultchur of life folks -- witch that means no aborshuns or youthinasia but plenty of eggzecushns n invashuns n droppin of bombs n makin of nuckular weppons n colatterull damage n such other forms of killin -- ifn they wuz in charge, wood they force jehovahs witnesses to take blood transfushuns or pledge allegunts to the flag or fite in wars? will they force despertly ill christchun scientists to ackcept medicull keer?

corse, that dont even git into bleefs of others such as native amurkins, hindus, buddhists, wiccans, zorastrians, pagans, muslims, jews n a world of other relijuns that dont agree with everthang a particlar christchun partisan group mite bleeve -- wood they be allowed to practiss thar relijun the way they wont to?

tiz my bleef that these folks trine to force thar views on the rest of us orta spend a lil more time wurkin on gittin the beam outta thar own eye before they git to inspecktin mine fer a mote!

tackticks of buddy don: lucky brakes

[note frum bd: a nuther reason blogger makes me crazy is this. i writ the post below a'usin colors, witch they show in color in the prevue but not when posted. tiz verr annoyin. duz the bolded thangs cum out in color fer ye? or jes in bold black? tiz verr annoyin. innywho, magin that the wurd 'volunteer' cum out in orange n the daily agenda in blue n the daily ($1) dollar in green n so furth.

but wiat, thars more garbage frum blogger. when i publishd this, half of it jes disapeard. lucky fer me, miz bd hadnt reloded her page, witch when she copied the post into a email, them color cum out. is thar wurser bloggin software than blogger? twood be hard to bleeve thar could be.]

i writ yesterdy bout how i had sum verr good luck with my job that led to a form of motivayshun that has been a'wurkin well fer a few years now. heres whut happend.

i wurk at one of wall streets major firms, witch lets jes call it goodbank. i gut the job back in 2002. i had been wurkin at a terrbull job befor that on a counta how whenever 9/11 happend, the job i had wuz buried in dust n i had to take 'inny port in a storm,' as they say. so when an ole boss of mine ast me to cum wurk fer her, i give it sum thought n after bout a year of talk, i gut the job.

six weeks after i gut the job, thay wuz a round of layoffs, witch that included my boss, my ole boss who hired me, n her boss (who i knew frum a prior job n who hepped me git in the door). i figgerd twuz the end fer me on a counta how it seemd lack i wuz the tail on that dog.

but thangs dint wurk out thataway. i wuz lucky a nuff to be kep on n since thay wuznt no other manjers at the time, the putt me in charge. twuz a verr stressful time on a counta how i dint know hardly nuthin bout the cultchur of the place, dint hardly know nuthin bout the infrastructchur, dint have no natherull allies in a verr tuff enviroment.

but i did have a few thangs a'goin fer me. fer one, i had made friends with minny a banker whenever i wuz wurkin at a nuther wall street firm, witch lets jes call thatn badbank. i also had the confidents of the main person we had to please in the 'bu,' witch they refer to them folks ye support as the business unit even tho they never say nuthin but bu (did i mentchun i wurk in computer support?).

rite away, i gut requests to do this n that n tuther thang. i dint hardly know my staff, dint hardly know who wuz good at whut. far as i could tell, the hole team wuz verr unhappy, spendin lots of time a'wurryin bout whut they wuz havin to do more wurk than the nex guy.

i dint know much whut to do, witch thats when i had a bit of good luck.

bein frum tennessee, i made a big deal of bein a volunteer. everday i had a list of thangs that needed doin, so i gut in the habit of sendin out sumthin i called the daily agenda. i wood ast ifn i had a volunteer to do this or that. corse, them that lacked doon that kinda wurk wood offer thar servus n that hepped me figger out sho wuz good at whut.

i wood bold ever name n use colors n such sos to make it a lil more fun. folks lacks to see thar name in print n boldin it made it easier fer em to pick out the names.

one mornin, i writ that we wood have trainin at 11 am. rite away i gut a note frum the trainer lettin me know the trainin wuz at 10, not 11. twuz a grate ketch on his part, so i created a rule that more or less changed everthang. i deecided that ifn a reader could find a miss take lack i made that day, i wood pay em one dollar, witch i gut in the habit of ritin it as the daily ($1) dollar.

corse ye caint call sumthin the daily ($1) dollar ifn ye dont award folks a dollar everday. i had dun gut in the habit of ritin thanks n kudos to innybidy that had volunteerd to do sumthin or even ifn they had dun a real good job without volunteerin. one day, i fergut to thank sumbidy, so one of my best team members writ me a note to say i orta say thans n kudos to the feller i had dun missd. so i invented a rule named after that grate team member.

long stary short, the rules grew n grew. whenever we had embedded jurnlists a'goin over to cuver our wars, i announced i wood embed sum errs in the daily agenda n ifn i did, ye wood half to ketch it to win. i also started puttin in a lil puzzle that i named the tie-breaker, i reckun that gut to be the mos poplar part of the hole thang.

corse, to keep folks motivated, i wood lis the top winners to date, witch i calld it the daily ($1) dollar club. after a year of so of that, i started listin the teams n addin up all the winnins of the differnt team members.

at the start, i wuz sendin the daily agenda to jes a few folks -- my frunt line team of 4 wurkers n my full time staff team of 3. now its gut a readership of over 90 folks.

so whut wuz the pitcher? tiz the winnins to date frum the verr beginnin of a feller that has won moren innybidy else. as ye kin see, them dollars mount up, but i figger tiz a bargain on a counta i kin count on folks readin the daily agenda with grate keer sos they kin find the embedded err or figger out the tie-breaker n so furth.

twuz a bit of luck to git me past a ruff patch of life but it turnt into sumthin that folks hate to live without. sumtimes i git tired of havin to doot on a counta how it means i have to git to wurk early. but i caint beat the affeck.

that dont mean we aint gut problems, but tiz a good thang when folks is trine to win the daily ($1) dollar by prazin the wurk of a nuther team member.

nuff sed.

tackticks of buddy don: motivayshun trix

whar i wurk i gut 10 folks reportin to me, witch everbidys part of a larger group. by almos pure acksident, i cum up with a trick to motivate folks. tomorrow im a'gone splain it in sum deetail. fer today, heres a clue, witch ye mite call it a mystry. inny idee whut this pitcher stands fer?

mizry of buddy don: better but not well

them migraines has cum back, but thar differnt frum how they used to be. this past weekend, i had lots of them warnin simptums: feelin lack vertigo, that lite show of auras ye see at the edge of everthang, the feelin of bein irritatabull over nuthin.

so happend that miz bd wuz takin sum classes in thai yoga massage, witch the classes run fer five days n ended after the class they had on sundy. i dint wont her to know i mite be sick on a counta how she wood be lackly to stay home to keer fer me, so i put on the bes show yet. twuz good a nuff to git her off to skool bof days.

then mundy when i woke up, i could feel the wurst simptums a'cummin on, manely the feelin that i wuz a'gone half to vomit. this time thay wuznt inny pane atall in the hed, not even that tender spot on the surface of the lef side.

so i tride to cunvints myself that i wuz a'gone be ok, that i could go to wurk without no truble. this time, miz bd wuz not fooled. i lef fer wurk n she could tell by how i wuz walkin that thangs wuznt rite. as soon as i wuz in the brite sun i knew thangs wuz touchy. thays jes sumthin bout brite lite that i caint handle whenever im bout to git sick.

shore a nuff, i gut on the bus n lasted jes three stops till i had to git out n hunker down fer what, thank god, wernt nuthin but dry heaves. so i cum home n tuck that awful, life-stealin zomig (witch tiz a blessin how i dint half to live with the vomitin simptums, so zomigs bettern that).

innywho, yesterdy wuz wurse on a counta i woke up wontin to vomit. i made my erbs in hopes they could stop the thang, but that dint wurk. by the time they wuz reddy, i had dun tuck my zomig.

once that zomig has gut to wurkin, the wurst thang bout the attack by far is how deepressd i feel bout bein sick: i wurry bout losin my job, bout never bein able to wurk reglar agin, bout how i caint thank whut wurk ye could do that woodnt git ye fired fer bein sick as raglar as i been lately. ye kin magine how folks mite wonta end it all durin such a state, witch i thank god i aint gut no temptayshuns lack that thanks to that acksident i had a long while back.

i had a pointment with frank butler down to soho erbs n ackupunkchur skeduled alreddy, so i went. by then, the zomig had wore off a nuff sos i could go alone (after sleepin mos of the day). i felt lack pall gizin to frank fer gittin sick agin, witch i git that same feelin bout wurk, but he dint take it thataway.

he sed twuz good i wuz thar in the middle of a nuther attack. twuz nice to here im bein so postiv when i wuz feelin lack pall gizin to the worl fer bein sick. he tole me i could git well, that the path we been follerin is a'gone git us whar we wonta git, that he wuz a'gone make thangs better that afternoon with sum ackupunkchur.

so i went in n let em listen to my pulse n look at my tung. abby tole me she could see in a instunt how i wuz sick whenever i walked in on a counta i dint have no energy n pep n such. tiz obveeus to everbidy but me, i guess.

innywho, she gut the hole story bout this latest migraine, witch they dun changed. the biggest thang thats differnt is how the warnin period has slowed down n gut a lot longer. i had a migraine a few weeks ago whar my hed wuz tender fer three days befor i gut sick. fer thisn, i had two days of the weekend with warnin simptums befor the attack gut underway. so sumthin is changin.

once she had the story down, she tole me to git up on the bed n lay on my back. corse, i tuck my shoes n socks off. this time frank stuck needles in a new place, my stumach, witch he putt three thar, one in each hand, one on my right forearm, one in each foot n one in my rite calf.

once they git the needles in ye, they let ye lie still in the dark fer about tweny mints or so. durin that time, seems lack i drift halfway into a dream whar i see lots of odd thangs that i caint hardly member after tiz over.

but once they cum n pulld them needles out of me n let me know i should use the originull erb recipe till i see frank nex windsdy, i lef n as i wuz a'walkin tords the path stayshun, i real eyesd how i wuz feelin better agin. tiz lack they turnt off the sick switch.

now ifn i kin larn how to turn it off befor it gits turnt on!

legendairy fish of buddy don: bidshicka

a while back i writ a lil item bout a tank of cichlids i been keepin since 1994, witch that articull wuz bout a fish name of brownie. thays a nuther fish that deeserves a few wurds on a counta how hes dun pulled off sum tricks me n miz bd aint never seen befor.

tiz a blue pseudotropheus acei name of bidshicka, witch we gut the fish rite befor 9/11 happend n miz bds son give it the name of bidshicka, witch thats the name of a roma (witch that means gypsy) leader ye kin read bout in this book name of bury me standin. whenever bidshicka wuz a'gittin named, he wuz a tinyy lil thang n twuznt sartin twood make the transishun to the new tank. it tuck im a lease a year, but in the end, bidshicka wuz the big fish in the tank. heres a pitcher of im when he wuz yunger n tuffer:



bidshicka tuck over top fish of the tank frum a fish name of agnew, witch he wuz a yeller fish that dint stay top fish fer verr long. heres a pitcher of him:



jes to show ye how they could git along befor agnew died, heres a pitcher of em bof checkin out the fotogruffer:



far as we kin tell, ye kin keep a cichlid alive fer about four years. thats the oldest we been able to keep one. so bout a year ago, after agnew had dun been dispatched, twuz no big sprize to see bidshicka down, witch seems lack whenever they die frum ole age, they git to whar they jes quit trine n lie down n dont git back up.

i hollerd to miz bd that it looked lack bidshicka wuz dun fer on a counta how he wuz a'lyin in a corner on the bottom n not movin a fin. yet whenever it cum time to feed, thar wuz bidshicka makin shore he gut the mos.

so twuz a odd thang to see, a fish that played dead. yet he did it mos ever chants he gut. he had im a place whar he wood lie n ye could see how he wuz a'doon it on purpose. whut wuz speshly weird bout it wuz how bidshicka kep his place as top fish in the tank. so twuz fer well over a year.

then thay cum sum kinda power struggle n a peach colord fish name of lucky tuck over. so we figgerd this time, bidshicka wuz a'gone half to die on a counta we aint never seen a top fish lose his place as top fish without dyin in jes a few days. shore a nuff, lucky did his bes to beat bidshicka up, nippin at his tail n even gittin sum bites in along his sides.

but bidshicka used his abilty to play dead to git lucky to leave im alone n we figgered twuz a bit of behavyer we aint never seen befor. durin this time, we had a fish name of esther, witch lucky mated with esther n they had em a set of fry that included three survivers, witch thats bout average.

but we gut a nuther cuple fish includin one we called 'new blue' on a counta how he looked lack bidshicka only smaller, n a nuther fish we named 'cutty shark' on a counta how it wuz bout the color of the orange part of a cutty sark label. cuttys color aint lack no othern we ever had, so we wuz happy bout havin im ...

... till one day we noticed how cutty had a pouch, witch that means cutty wuz a female that had mated (with 'new blue' as it turnt out). we waited n waited to see the lil 'cutlets,' as we called the fry frum cutty. whut a bunch of fish! bes we kin deetermine (and tiz verr hard to count em), cutty dun dropped sumwhars twixt 10 n 17 fish into the tank.

whenever yer numbers go up lack that n the lil ones git to whar they aint a'fraid to cum out, ye kin see the stress of havin so minny new fish in the tank. sumtimes thatll git the top fish to fitin.

thats kindly whut we eggzpecked, but thangs wuz differnt. this time we watched sumthin we dun seen a time of two, witch thats how esther, the female fish that had mated with lucky, deecided twuz time to take lucky out. we seen this three times at lease: a female fish name of trumbley killt the male name of geronimo when geronimo gut to attackin the lil fish. we seen a fish name of jeanie killt a verr mean fish name of pol pot. in them cases, the female killt the male with a sangle vishus attack.

but twuz odd to see esther chasin lucky round since lucky is bout twice her size. but he wuz runnin n we saw her take such a hard bite outta his side that the scales begun to float in the water. within a cuple hours, lucky lay upside down on the bottom of the tank, witch they dont survive that posishun fer verr long.

so i tuck luckys bidy out n flushed it down the toilet. meanwhile, thars bidshicka, givin a lil chase to the new blue (secunt strongest fish lef). once new blue went to hide, bidshicka swum over to his favert place n settled in fer a nap, lookin fer all the worl as ifn he wuz dead.

but he warnt. we aint never seen this kinda change befor, witch tiz nice to see new thangs in a tank thats near 11 years ole! corse, thays all them lil cutlets to watch . . . twill be innerestin once one of the males gits big a nuff to challenge eethur bidshicka or new blue.

pitchers tuck by buddy don: sundy people bloggin

up here in the new york area, thay aint so minny oppurtunties to git picthers of burds n natchur n such. sides that, i caint claim to have nuthin lack the talent of this fotograffer or thisn or thisn (ye mite wonta say wow, wow, wow or wow bout sum of theme pitchers).

i aint cumplainin on a counta ifn i had the talent time n equipment, i wood wonta take pitchers lack henry bresson dun, witch he mosly tuck picthers of folks. i lack a pitcher to be lack a cuntry song n tell sum kinda lil story, witch takin pitchers of folks in the city is purrfeck fer that.

i lack pithers with lots a'goin on but one thang in particklar, lack that thar feller in the yankee jersey a'hittin his stride:


this heres a pitcher of modurn life a'walkin down the street:


corse, ye kin find art mos innywhar, even by acksident:

pinions of buddy don: sharin common burdens

the preamble to the constitushun has sum importunt principills bout whut we bleeve n why we have the gummint we gut. in case ye dun fergut how it goes, here tiz:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

as ye kin see, thays a few reasons fer why them forefathers deecided to form a new gummint. lets list em sepertly:

• to form a more perfect Union


• establish Justice


• insure domestic Tranquillity


• provide for the common defence


• promote the general Welfare


• secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity

i wonta talk bout two of them reasons why we created the constitushun: provide fer the common defence n promote the genrul welfare. seems to me lack we aint doin our bes to attain these goals. heres why i say that.

fer one thang, thays plenty of folks that aint gut a nuff maginayshun to real eyes that providin fer the common defence means moren spendin almos as much money on our military as all tuther cuntries together spend on thars. heres a few bullet points on that:

* The US military budget is almost as much as the rest of the world's.

* The US military budget is more than 8 times larger than the Chinese budget, the second largest spender.

* The US military budget is more than 29 times as large as the combined spending of the seven “rogue” states (Cuba, Iran, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Sudan and Syria) who spent $14.4 billion.

* It is more than the combined spending of the next twenty three nations.

* The United States and its close allies account for some two thirds to three-quarters of all military spending, depending on who you count as close allies (typically NATO countries, Australia, Canada, Israel, Japan and South Korea)

* The seven potential “enemies,” Russia, and China together spend $116.2 billion, 27.6% of the U.S. military budget.

se we gut ourself well deefended agin them enemies that aint attackin, but at our peril we ignore them enemies thats dun invaded n doon us massive damage.

befor i mentchun them enemies, lemme point out that amurkas gratest resorce aint its gold or oil or coal or uranium or land or innythang else lack that: tiz our people. how are we cultivatin this mos preshus resorce? by ignorin the enemies thats attackin n winnin agin us:

• ignorunts


• disease


• poverty

seems to me lack these is the enemies we need to deefeat on a counta how thar the ones thats winnin the war agin us. problem is, to attack them enemies, we half to change our ways n ackcep that thays sum items we have in common that we orta handle by involvin the entire communty, witch the wurd communty cums frum common.

problem here is thays a deevide twixt them that bleeves competishun is good n cooperayshun aint n them that bleeves cooperayshun is jes as importunt as competishun. but them two thangs is different sides of the same coin. we need competishun so folks will push to be the bes possibull. this wurks well ifn we wonta sell thangs lack mouse traps n cds n movies n such.

but it dont wurk so well on items everbidy needs n caint afford to shop around fer, lack medicull keer. rite now, we bleeve competishun is a mircull wurker of sum kind that kin fix innythang, even tho taint so fer everthang. that dogmatick bleef in competishun has led our gummint to side with the corporayshuns agin our own people. purrfeck eggzample of that is how our own gummint forbade itself frum bargainin with them drug cumpnies so folks could git a better price on thar drugs, witch thats how they gut drug prices down in canada, whar even my far right wing uncle buys his medicine.

magine ifn we wuz to provide fer the common deefents agin ignorunts by spendin almos as much money as all tuther cuntries put together wuz spendin! we wood reap the benefit of all that larnin on a counta we wood have more scientists n engineers n computer geeks n riters n perfessers n such. we wood be able to win the competishun of idees with the worl same as we kin do ifn innybidy wonts to have a war with us.

but as we know, teachers dont hardly git paid a nuff to live a life that aint on the poverty level. magin ifn we wuz to give teachers the respeck they deserve (in dollars) fer preparin the nex generayshun of amurkins, fer cultivatin our gratest resorce, our children.

corse, ifn we had a single-payer system to share the burden we all have in needin medicull keer, our costs per persun woodnt be the highest in the worl fer a rank thats in the low 20s while leavin moren 40 million folks without no medicull insurants.

tiz my bleef that ifn we wuz to cunsidder deefendin our folks agin ignorunts by givin educayshun the respeck (in dollars) that it desurves n ifn we also gut us a medicull system that removed the threat of finanshul ruin due to catastrofick illness, then the thurd enemy, poverty, woodnt need no food stamps nor welfare to solve: our better educated folks with good medicull insurants woodnt be as lackly to be poor.

n ifn we dun all that, we wood be doon a much better job of promotin the genrul welfare.

we need a party that wonts the progress based on cooperayshun n communty, that wonts to perteck n empower wurkin folks in sted of changing the tax code to discourage wurk by makin labor the sorce of all tax revenue, witch thats whut thar a'trine to do by gittin rid of taxes on investment n inheritunts.

treetment of buddy don: west v east n the twain never a'meetin

i been havin vomitin sesshuns thats been labeled 'migraines' fer years now. the furstn cum on the day them vols won the nashunull champeenship fer 1998, witch i bleeve that wuz on the 4th of jan of 1999. fer sum reason that mornin, i woke up a'needin to move my bowels n soon as i gut to the bathroom, i gut to vomitin. frum 5 am till that game wuz near over, i jes couldnt stop.

me n miz bd wuz a'livin in a tee-ninee lil apartment over in man hattan that dint have but one lil room in it. so the tv wuznt but a cuple yards frum whar i wuz a'lyin in wait fer the nex wave to make me vomit, but seem lack i member that game lack twuz on a bar tv in a nuther room, way off in the distunts.

corse i went to the docter to splain whut had happend. he give me sum medicin to stop me frum barfin, but it dint wurk on a counta how i wood barf it rite back up. so he give me the humiliayshun of suppostories, witch they woodnt stay in neether. we wuz livin close to the docters offus at the time, so we wood go over whilst i wuz a vomitin to see whut could he do to stop it. nuthin wurked.

then i wuz visitin fer a annual fisicull n we gut to talkin bout them vomitin sesshuns n i sed sumthin lack i wood wake up with a bit of a hedache n then wurser nausea till i dint keer bout the hedache. he sed mayhap i wuz havin migraines. so nex time i woke up lack that, he tole me i should take sumthin lack migraine strangth excedrin. he also give me sum vicodin jes in case that dint stop it.

so i gut to whar i wood take that migraine strangth excedrin purty often. it dint always wurk, but seemd lack twuz bettern thangs wuz befor. then it gut to whar i couldnt risk havin one, so i wood take a cuple them excedrins furst thang ever mornin.

fer a while i dint have no trubles, but whenever they cum back, twuz wursern ever. that gut me to the new york headache center whar i gut treetment frum a feller name of dr alexander mauskop. as far as limitin the suffrin, he hepped me a lot. furst, he give me sum stuff name of zomig, witch furst time i used it i figgerd the problem wuz solved. in sted of vomitin all day, after i squirted that zomig stuff up my sniffer, i woodnt feel lack i had to vomit n in no time, i wood fall asleep.

he also had me quit takin the excedrin n gut me to takin migralief (mixtchur of magnesium, vitamin b6 n feverfew) n co q-10 ever day. i had a few migraines n used the zomig n twuz fine. then i gut on a nice six munth streak of no trubles, jes the migralief n co q-10.

frum march 28 till september 18 of las year, i dint have no symptums atall. then i ate a can of soup that wuz loded with msg n that gut me started all over agin. seem lack once them migraines gut a'goin agin, twuz wursern ever. corse, the zomig wurked mos ever time, meanin i could spend the day in its obvlion, eether sleepin or bein so dead headed i couldnt keep up with questchuns lack whut did i wont fer dinner. i gut to missin lots of wurk n that gut me deepressd bout the futchur n whuther i wood be able to keep my job. twuz almost as hard to take as the vomitin.

finely i calld my reglar docter n tole im sumthin had to be dun. i wuz havin migraines mos everday by then n even that day i had one a'goin, so he deecided i should try ackupunkchur. thats how i started a'gittin treeted by a practishuner of tradishunull chinese medicin. so far, that has wurked bes of innythang i dun tride.

it also led me to a cuple of conclushuns bout the differnts twixt easturn n westurn ways of docterin:

• west: when yer eggzamined, thonly thang they wonta here bout is yer symptums when yer sick.
• east: when yer eggzamined, they dont ast inny questchuns atall bout yer symptums when yer sick on a counta all they wonta know is near bout everthang else -- whut ye eat, how ye sleep, how often ye move yer bowels n how that cums out, how often ye pee n whut color tiz, how often ye wont to have sex, whut ye eat, whuther ye excercise, yew name it.


• west: they give ye medicin that kin stop the symptums in thar tracks (mos times), but they dont claim to be able to stop em fer sartin.
• east: caint do much to stop the attack or them symtums once yer havin a migraine, witch they tell ye that furst thang, but they figger they kin focus thar attenchun on gittin em not to happen atall, witch so far them erbs they give me have been a'wurkin grate ceptn when i tride to git off em.


• west: they gut lots of new treetments to try, witch thar mosly eggsperimentull n sum of em mite wurk n sum mite not, witch one they wonta try on me is to injeck botox into my hed to stop the symptum of the tender patch on the hed that seems to preceed ever attack.
• east: aint gut no new methods to try out on ye, no eggspearments, witch in sted thar a'usin verr old medicin n methods such as the furst erb recipe i tuck that wuz 2,500 years ole!


• west: migraines is cunsidderd a cundishun that sum folks gut n sum dont, witch thay aint no cure fer a cundishun so ye gut to treat the symptums fer the res of yer natcherull born days.
• east: the wurd 'migraine' is used by westurn medicin to indicate a range of symptums that dont nobidy unnerstand whut cawses em, but taint no nevermind fer them on a counta they dont bleeve tiz a condishun that ye treat fer the res of yer life, but sum kinda imbalants in yer system that ye kin treat n cure.


• west: goal is to cuntrol them symtums.
• east: goal is to cure the sickness.

one mane thang ye mite notice bout this is how them folks in the east aint gut no sense bout makin no profit. ifn ye gut a cundishun whar ye gut to take medicin to treat symptums fer the res of yer life, then yer a'gone be a money-makin machine fer drug cumpnies n docters. thanks of the profits ye could make!

but they dont even cunsidder that in the east. i tole that tcm pracktishuner name of frank butler how i woodnt mind takin them erbs ever mornin fer the res of my life. he laffd n sed twood be a big waste of money. the idee is that yer a'gone git well n never need to take them erbs agin. whars thar profit in that? could it be they aint motivated by makin more money? could it be thar motivated by curin folks?

could it be that thays other human motivatshuns that aint all bout makin more money n gittin richer?

pinions of buddy don: ifn taint legal ...

thays a articull on the frunt page of todays washington post name of Marijuana Becomes Focus of Drug War -- Less Emphasis on Heroin and Cocaine bout how we been spendin $35 billions per year on the war agin sum drugs n of that we been spendin $4 billions per year jes on marijuana. even the cunservativs has figgerd out that taint a'wurkin:

But increasingly, some experts have begun to argue that the U.S. drug war, which costs an estimated $35 billion a year, has had a minimal impact on consumption of illicit substances. The conservative American Enterprise Institute published a report in March titled "Are We Losing the War on Drugs?" Its authors argue that, among other things, "criminal punishment of marijuana use does not appear to be justified."

thays sum facks bout keepin a drug lack marijuana illegal that folks orta cunsidder, witch everbidy knows that havin a war agin it dont keep folks frum a'gittin it n mane thang that war on sum drugs duz is make gittin arrested the worst thang marijuana kin do to ye. but ifn ye insist on keepin it illegal, then ...

1. only criminulls gits the cumpletely untaxed profits frum marijuana (n other drugs)


2. only criminulls gits to deecide bout the strangth, purity n safety of the marijuana n other drugs thar a'sellin


3. only criminulls gits to deecide bout who thar a'gonna market thar marijuana n other drugs to -- teens? grade skoolers? kindergartners? tiz up to the criminull to deecide


4. only criminulls git to deecide whar thar a'gone sell thar marijuana n other drugs, whuther near churches or skools -- or even in churches or skools


5. only criminulls gits to deecide how thar a'gone set up n perteck thar territories fer sellin purposes


6. only criminulls gits to deecide whuther thar a a'gone use gang violents to enforce thar sellin territories, witch they use guns n tortchur n whutever it takes


7. only criminulls gits to deecide whuther thar a'gone do bizness with terrists


8. only criminulls gits to deecide whuther thar a'gone use terrorism to keep thar bizness a'goin (lack they been a'doon in colombia fer decades)


9. drug users start lookin on law enforcement n po-leece with suspishun n even as ifn they wuz the enemy

corse, thay is a nuther way. furst thang we half to add mitt is how prohibishun dont wurk, not fer alkyhol, not fer marijuana, not even fer poisons lack heroin n cocaine. taint good pallticks, but tiz good sense, on a counta ifn drugs wuz legal, then ...

1. state n fedrull gummints wood git to levy taxes on the sale of drugs, witch since drugs sellin is one of the top industries in the worl -- number one or two or three with food n arms mixed in as tutherns, twood be a cunsiderbull bit of tax revenue


2. state n fedrull gummints wood git to regulate the strangth, purity n quality of the drugs bein sold


3. fedrull n state gummints wood git to deecide how old ye half to be to buy marijuana n other drugs


4. fedrull n state gummints wood git to deecide whar drugs wood be sold


5. gang or violent cuntrol of territories wood be replaced by competishun fer creatin the bes produck.


6. folks that deecided they wonted to use drugs woodnt be skeerd of law enforcement


7. fedrull n state gummints woodnt half to spend all that money on the war agin sum drugs, witch we been a'losin that war frum the verr beginnin

i aint sayin that folks wont use drugs n aint even sayin that mayhap sum folks wood use legal drugs that woodnt use em ifn thay wuz illegal. but at sum point, ye half to balants the cost of more folks usin drugs agin the cost of trine to git nobidy to use em, witch that aint wurkin. we did the eggspearment with alkyhol prohibishun, witch we all know how thatn dint wurk. when twuz legalized agin, sum folks gut to drankin that dint drank befor. but lease they wuz drankin a produck that wuz regulated n not poison. lease when they bought em a bottle they wuz heppin the gummint to pay its bills. lease they wuznt criminulls.

coincindents of buddy don: big worl reflckted in lil pitchers

thom shanker has im a articull in todays new york times name of Pentagon Says Iraq Effort Limits Ability to Fight Other Conflicts, witch the furst graf gives ya good idee:

WASHINGTON, May 2 - The concentration of American troops and weapons in Iraq and Afghanistan limits the Pentagon's ability to deal with other potential armed conflicts, the military's highest ranking officer reported to Congress on Monday.

so who ye gonna call? i found a outfit that mite be able to hep, so i tuck a pitcher of it:



did ye read how the congress (strick party line vote in house of 214-211, 52-47 in senate) is a'doon thar part tords cuttin the deficit in half by trimmin a lil $10 billyun frum medikeer n addin $106 in tax cuts:

WASHINGTON -- A $2.6 trillion budget outline barely approved by Congress will cut projected spending on Medicaid for the poor, lock in tax cuts and -- Republicans claim -- put the country on a path toward lower federal deficits.

Democrats unanimously opposed the spending outline passed late Thursday. They said the budget reflects the president's misplaced priorities by freezing or trimming health, education and agriculture programs while cutting taxes by as much as $106 billion over five years.

hmm. cut medikeer fer the poor by $10 bn, grow the tax cuts by $106bn. claim ye kin cut the budget in half thataway. ifn i had math that fuzzy, my face wood be red:



i reckun them pall tishuns must thank this here whut yer tipicull amurkin looks lack:



mayhap yer one of them folks that wurries how cuts to the nashunull endowment of the arts will make it harder fer ye to see free art. never fear:



mayhap ye dun herd how everbidy wonts to git to heaven but nobidy wonts to die (or let others die in peace). mayhap ye dont wonta die yer ownself, but that probly dont keep ye frum wontin to go to heaven.

in that case, i gut jes the place fer ye:

lost time of buddy don: editin a friend's paper

i dun spent my entire mornin editin a paper writ by a friend of mine. he wood do the same fer me, so i gut no cumplaints. but i aint gut time to blog as a result.

but sprang has finely sprung, as ye kin see: