Monday, May 14, 2012

splainayshuns of buddy don: how we cum to be in californy

me n miz bds lives tuck a sharp turn last memoryall day, witch heres how it happent:
  1. we had gut into a rut what i wood wake up with a hedache n i wood sleep mos of the day n whenever i gut up, generly sumtime round 4 pm, i wood have the best part of the day, witch twernt much.
  2. up till that point in our lives, we dint go to the emergentsee room on a counta how once in 2002 we dun that over to a hospitull name of bellview with terrbull reesults. i had bin vomitin fer bout 8 hrs by then, so they give us a bucket n tole us to sit in the corner n wait, witch we dun it long as we could till i figgerd wudnt nobidy a'gone take a vomitin migraneur as a urgent case; so for years after that, we dint go to no hospitals.
  3. then cum that awefull memoryall day last year. got up after trine to sleep off the hedache round 7 pm. tride to eat but commenced to vomitin n cudnt stop, no how no way ... all nite long.
  4. nex mornin, miz bd wood not take 'no!' fer an answer whenever i tole her i dint wonta go to no hospitull n git a bucket sos i could sit in the corner n wait. i wuz tuckerd near to death by then, tho i dint real eyes it. i cudnt fite back no more.
  5. once we gut to the Hoboken University Medical Center, thangs happend faster n faster. turnt out i wuz sickern i knew. i bin tole i couldnt identify whar i wuz (i sed "hoboken," n they ast me whar in hoboken, witch i cudnt thank of the wurd fer hospitull so i sed, 'that place whar they hep folks.' i also cudnt say the presidents name, tho i knew it. n thay wuz a slew of other thangs i cudnt git rite.
  6. they give me ever test they had jes about, witch they also had thar chaplain, a real nice woman who i caint member her name, stay with me jes in case she wood be needed.
  7. long story short, they cudnt git the vomitin to stop till 2 pm, n i cudnt eat nuthin cept ice fer anuther two daze.
  8. but i wuz so confused fer so long that ifn loretta, mz bds daughter, hattent cum to hep me, i cudnt have ansered a boatload of questchuns bout my life. twuz a nice sprize whenever i seen how loretta dun knew all the ansers (witch she gut sum of em by readin shoot the devil, witch ye kin still git ye one by orderin it on this here page).
  9. they kep me in that hospitull fer 4 daze in all n tole me at the end, after givin me more tests than i had ever had in such a short time, that i have terrbull migraines. tell me about it!
after that, after they sent me to a few other speshulists, seem lack everbidy agreed thay wudnt much could be dun fer a cronick migraneur lack me, jes to make me as cumfertabull as kin be n teach me to live with it n such. as one "palliative care" speshulist tole me, "The good thing is that pain is self-limiting. It always stops eventually." He sed botox wood wurk fer me, lease fer panefull hedaches, but i tole im twernt my problem to endure pane. tiz the vomitin that i caint abide. so he agreed that botox woodnt do much fer me.

in sted, we discussed movin to a place whar the weather dont hardly change much. we found thays three places in the US that fit the bill best: Honolulu, San Diego n the Coachella Valley, mainly the eastern, shielded part of it.

the only one we could a ford wuz the Coachella Valley (Palm Springs, Cathedral City, Indian Wells, Rancho Mirage, Desert Palms, Coachella, La Quinta, Indio, n Desert Hot Springs).

me n miz bd cum out here in late July when thangs wuz cheap, even in Palm Springs, to look the place over n see sum real estate. we cudnt hardly bleeve the prices. houses with 3 beds, 2 baths, pool, spa, beautiful landscaping, all fer under $150K. corse, i gut sick the secunt day of that visit n spent the hole week vomitin, unable to eat nuthin, gittin to know how good the medical facilities is round here. twuz a ruff week, but we wuz deecided. so we dun it, moved out here.

n has it fixt them migraines? not as much as i had hoped. thangs is better in sum ways: i git more fair daze whar i have migraines that i call "walkin migraines," on a counta i kin still walk the dogs. n i git verr good daze also, but i still git awefull sick n have bin to the emergentsee room 8 times so far (i am nearly a munth past the last visit, which thats purty good).

i am a'hopin that i have woke up frum sum medicayshun i wood lack to discuss ... ifn i kin stay well fer a lil spell ...